A Day Out With the Kids and Some Strange....Strangers...

Bright and early this morning, we surprised the kids with a day out. 
The second we mentioned 'horses', the screaming commenced...on all counts.  Audrey started squealing and running about excitedly, then Casey followed suit; this scared Zachary, so he started screeching, and then Jordan started up just to make noise.  Yikes. 
Well, we finally got the crew rounded up and headed out for the day.  I had Pascal on my shoulder, Zach in one arm, and Casey in the other; Eugene had Audrey and Jordan.  Rather, we had them until they wanted down so they could run and play.  We let them get that all out of their system before allowing them to take turns riding the Appaloosa pony.  Eugene and I took turns leading them around and holding the two babies. 

Let me tell you, that was a really patient pony.  It let them ride...and ride...and ride...and ride.  We even held Jordan up in the saddle for a few minutes, and she of course loved it as well.  After they finished up riding, we let them run, play, and explore for the majority of the day.  They skipped their afternoon nap, which was not necessarily the best thing, buuut they enjoyed themselves anyway, and they were very, very tuckered out by the time we took them back to the table (:

On our walk, we came across someone....or TWO someones...that were, ah, interesting. 
A Barbie and her Prince Charming Barbie crossed paths with us.  Only...they acted all excited to see Jordan and Audrey, claiming that they used to be adoptive parents of them.  Audrey was simply ECSTATIC to see them, which confused me even more so.  Afterwards, she talked quite a bit about them, once they had left.  I'm personally a little - okay, a lot - apprehensive, but if she was happy to see them, I'm happy for her.  I just can't shake feeling that something's going to happen, though.  I'm not including any pictures of them because they don't know A) who I am; a blogger, and B) I don't want to post their picture everywhere because I don't know THEM!  And that's just a little creepy. 

But with that aside, I'm so happy we got to get the kids out and about today.  They really needed a day to play and tucker themselves out.  It's the best feeling in the world, watching them run and play and enjoy themselves!  I don't know what I'd do without any of them! 

A Day Out With My Hubby (:

Today, Eugene and I went for a walk.  (I have pictures, but Blogger's being stupid and not letting me upload!  Rrgh...But regardless.)  
With Zelia, Ray, and even Fitz planning to watch the kids, we knew they'd be okay while we were gone -- hopefully!! 
Around ten, we left the table.  That's approximately when I realized that I was rusty on my table-climbing skills.  Eugene jumped down and I started to try and scurry quickly down the leg of the table, but then my hand slipped, and I ended up on the floor...tangled up in my own hair and limbs. 
Chuckling, my hubby quickly helped me to my feet.  "You okay?"
"Yeah," I blushed, bending to untangle my legs from my hair before I tried to walk.  "Thanks!" 
"You haven't done that in awhile," he added. 
"Just when I think I'm starting to be graceful and my clumsiness was just a phase..." I groaned, straightening and looking at him with an over-exaggerated facial expression. 
He laughed, nudging me gently with his shoulder.  "Oh, c'mon.  You know that your clumsiness is cute." 
"Says you!"  I shoved him back with my shoulder.  He retaliated by grabbing my arm and reaching to try to tickle my side, and I squealed, yanking away and running a few steps away before I turned around.  "What's gotten INTO you?!" 
He gave me that classic grin that made my heart skip a beat.  "What?  Can't I be excited for a day out with my best gal?" 
"No.  No, you can't," I deadpanned, and he played along, giving me a puppy-dog pout.  I tried to hold my serious face, but ended up giggling, as usual. 
He grinned and slung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side.  "Hmm..you have yet to learn the art of keeping a straight face, m'lady." 
"Well, if you'd stop being so funny..!" I threw back. 
"Pardon me for making you laugh," he tried to act offended, but it fell flat. 
"Oh, who's failing at acting now?"  I asked, and he chuckled. 
"Fine, you got me.  Now, what do you want to do today?  Dance?"  he stopped in his tracks and tried to twirl me, but I failed - big surprise :P. 
I thumped awkwardly into his chest instead of twirling gracefully in a circle.  "Ooh!  Sorry.  Um...anything you want to do.  I'm up for anything," I smiled, and he chuckled, bending to kiss the tip of my nose while I was close to him.  

We eventually decided to dance for awhile, and I had to re-teach Eugene a couple of things.  It's been that long!  I can't remember the last time we danced, actually.  (We went to get Tangled Fan's tablet, which has a few songs on it, by the way.)  But it was okay, and he only stepped on my toes once (or twice).  In the middle of a song ("A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri), Eugene spoke up. 
"Can you believe that in just a couple of months, we'll have been married for a year?" 
"Seems like a lot less, but...I'm not the best to judge that.  Plus, time flies when you're having fun," I smiled.  Quite frankly, it surprised me.  Yes, I knew we have been married for nearly a year, but it just didn't really register, I suppose.  Not like I'm complaining or anything - far from it! I'm married to a great guy and have four perfect little kiddos, what more could I ask for?  Not to mention a chameleon, a few close friends, and a sister.  
"Mmhmm.  Speaking of last year, kind of, has Flynn emailed you anymore?" 
"Huh-uh.  Maybe I set him in his place," I gasped sarcastically, and he chuckled. 
"Alright, Miss Snarky-Pants." 
I laughed, and then he reached for my hand and, all joking aside, we resumed our walk. 

We just spent the day enjoying one another and talking about anything and everything.  It was really nice, and just like old times (:  And even better, when we came home in the evening, Zelia said that Zachary hadn't been too bad about being away from momma, so hopefully we'll be able to start taking him places, getting the girls off the table a bit more. 
Life is good... [=

Flynn...Again...and A Talk.

I'm going to link Zarina's post HERE so you can read about the changes Tangled Fan made.  We have the entire table, now; except Logan, Ray, and Fitz live on the table, too.  They're pretty good, though; Logan usually spends his time out and about, but Ray sticks around with us.  Fitz, for some reason, feels the need to help with the kids.  It's so funny - he was so volatile of a doll when he was "Hans", but now, since he's been out of the box (under the name of Fitz...it's so strange how different the JC Penney's dolls changed!) he's been so kind and shy.  It's amazing!  Audrey's really taken to him. 

Anyway, with that said...Flynn finally got what's been about a year in the making. 
All week, since the 31st, to be exact, he's been harassing me.  Calling me horrible things, saying I'm worthless, saying that Eugene's an idiot and that if he had half of a brain, he would've ignored me like the rest of doll population did back then, saying negative things about our kids and our parenting skills...You name it.  I didn't tell Eugene because...I mean, seriously.  He's probably sick and tired of hearing about complaints over a guy I knew a year ago.  I'M tired of hearing from a guy I knew a year ago!  Ugh.  Regardless.   
I went off on him, after I got a message reading only this:
"Too bad you didn't die when you were delivering your baby.  It's a shame nothing happened to your child, as well.  Such a useless doll, since he's blind.  Of course, coming from a doll like you, he couldn't be anywhere near perfect, now, could he?"  
I found this at about ten AM this morning. 
I couldn't go off on him then, because the kids were up and I was semi-busy with Zachary himself, but once they settled down for their four PM naps, you bet I sent him an email. 
I told him everything I'd ever wanted to tell him.  Maybe I ended up a little harsh, but...I'm sick of it.  Between him and Ariel, I've been experiencing that awful feeling of worthlessness again, and I can't bum around with that.  I've got four kiddos, and I can't be distracted from them, especially over something as STUPID as their opinions!  It makes me mad that I fall into their traps.  But regardless, I'll stop ranting about that and give you the message I wrote him.
"Flynn, I don't know what you want, but you will not get it.  If you're trying to break me, it won't happen, I won't let it.  I was wrong to love you, I knew that as soon as I left the old place.  You might think that I can't remember all the things that you did, but I can.  I can remember almost everything again, which is great.
You know, you are nothing to me.  Your opinions....they can't affect me as well as they did before.  Why?  I have a family.  I'm not alone.  I have a husband who helps me every step of the way.  You might think he doesn't hold a candle to you, but the reverse is true:  YOU don't hold a candle to HIM.  I'd prefer it if you stop insulting him. 
If you send me one more thing about my children, I'm going to get in contact with your wife.  I don't know how, but I will.  You might think she already knows you inside and out, but I knew you longer than she did.  Remember, I can tell her all the things you never wanted her to know.  I know she doesn't like me, but you don't want me to open that can of worms, now, do you? 
Oh, and that little bit about Zachary being imperfect, and 'too bad he didn't die because he's blind'?  He's just fine the way he is.  We love him, and we'll never let that get in the way of how we treat or feel about him.  He's our son. 
Sure, call me whatever you want, say I'm a freak, a loser, an ugly piece of plastic, the most abhorrent doll you ever knew, tell me you wished I had died....but don't you dare say one word about my children or my husband.  Thank you.  If you're planning on emailing back, don't.  I'll figure out your wife's email address next." 
When I punched send, I was filled with a tumult of emotions:  mostly anger, irritation, relief, and more anger...I took a deep breath and huffed it back out, trying to calm myself. 
Eugene popped his head in behind the cutout.  "Hey, is something wrong?" 
"Hm?  Oh!  No, no...nothing's wrong.  What's up?"  I asked, trying to change the subject.  I let the tablet lean up against the bed and looked up at him. 
He strode over and sat down beside me.  "I could hear you huffing around, and I was worried that I'd said something.  I wasn't entirely sure WHAT I'd said that could've set you off, but I wanted to make sure nonetheless." 
I gave him a halfhearted smile.  "No...you didn't make me mad, don't worry." 
"Then what's the matter?  I know something is," he told me.  "I've been wanting to talk to you all week, because I know something's been bothering you, but we just haven't had the privacy to lately." 
I sighed.  I wanted to tell him, but I didn't at the same time...have you ever felt that way?  "Um...Flynn's been emailing me again.  A lot...since the 31st of September."  I bit my lip and paused, looking down at my lap before I spilled it. 

I told him every detail about every little thing.  When I was done, he shook his head. "I can't believe him.  Do you want me to email him?" 
"No.  I sent him a...heh...a lengthy email telling him what I've been wanting to tell him for a really long time."  I sighed again. ( I'm starting to think that today, sighing is my choice way of expressing my emotions.  Sigh.)  "Although...if I would have told him EVERYTHING I thought about him..."
He chuckled.  "That's an email I'd like to see." 
"I just hope I didn't come off as mean." 
My hubby shook his head.  "After all he did to you - after all he's still doing to you--and you're still concerned about being mean?  You're...you're something else.  If I were you, I would've broken his heart and crushed his soul." 
"Maybe I should have.  I'm too soft." 
"No, you're just kind.  You know what it feels like to be treated that way, and no matter who it is, you don't want them to feel the same way.  Right?" 
I shrugged.  "I guess....I should stop being like that.  But there are a lot of things I need to stop being like--"
"Like what?" 
I snorted.  "Have you looked at me lately?  I'm a slob.  I'm still clumsy.  I'm too soft, and if I were harder on people, maybe they'd leave me alone.  I leave a lot to be desired in the appearance department.  I'm too insecure, sensitive, and I can't let things roll off my back...everyone's right about me."   My husband looked so upset at that point.  I felt terrible for obviously making him feel that way.   "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even said anything...I-"
He shook his head.  "No, babe.  Don't feel that way.  I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you sooner-"
"It's fine," I looked down at my lap, holding my breath for a few seconds before letting it all out in a big rush, waiting for a response.  When he remained silent, I bit my lip, wondering if I'd finally annoyed him too much.  But then he spoke up. 
"Sweet girl...everything you said about yourself is just...it's not important.  First of all, everyone is wrong about you.  Yes, they think you're a klutz.  Yes, they think you're less than impressive in the looks and dress departments.  Yes, they think you're too lax, and therefore, they can say anything and have you feel like crap.  But they're wrong, Rapunzel.  They're so wrong...I wish you could see yourself from my eyes.  You're not too lax.  You're one of the strongest people I know.  Sure, you break down every once in awhile, but you're so strong.  You carry a lot of things around with you; all these nasty comments, plus the daily adventures of being a mother and wife...you're strong.  You only break after you get a huge load of all this rudeness and childish behavior piled on, like now.  I knew something was wrong, but to have you put up with that and not even cry or say anything once?!  And yes you're a little clumsy, but it's okay.  I am too; everyone has their oopsies every once in awhile.  You say you're too sensitive, but you know what?  If you're insensitive, then you're like Ariel.  And gosh, Rapunzel, you're so beautiful.  If I were unmarried and had the choice between you and...and Ariel or...or Belle, or...I don't know, Emma...I'd choose you.  I'd always choose you."  he took a deep breath and cupped my face in his hands for a second.  "And do you really think I care how you dress?  You're fine." 
I bit my lip.  "But Ariel and Flynn both said that I was so ugly and dressed crappily.  I felt bad, of course, because...I mean...I don't know.  I'm sure going from a guy's point of view, Ariel's style is much--"
"Ariel's style is way overbearing...yeesh," he shuddered, trying to get a smile out of me.  It didn't work.  "Do you think I'd choose skirts slit way up the sides and seriously low-slung dresses over how my best gal dresses?  Modesty is beautiful, remember," he winked. 
I shrugged.  "I know..I'm just being--I don't even know.  Weird." 
"No, not weird.  It's pretty normal for individuals to let negativity get to them.  That's why you have me,"
"I'm sorry, though.  I hate having to load all this onto you.  You shouldn't have to give me these pep talks every time someone says something bad to me," I licked my lips and looked back down to my hands, which were clasped on my lap. 
He thought for a second, but the next thing I knew, he was gathering me into his lap, cradling me in his arms.  "That's right.  I wouldn't have to, but it's my choice.  There's nothing I would rather do, nowhere I'd rather be, and nobody I'd rather be with.  You're everything to me, and I'm fine with giving you those pep talks every once in awhile.  Okay?" 
I teared up.  Of course I knew that, but I still felt bad for making him have to listen to all my troubles.  Nodding, I tried to keep my tears from spilling.  "Okay.  I know..."
He bumped his forehead against mine, kissing the tip of my nose.  "I love you.  And please...if Flynn starts emailing you again, let me know right away, okay?" 
I nodded.  "I will.  Love you,"
He gave my shoulders a squeeze, which made my heart squeeze, too.  I didn't deserve a guy like him.  We just sat quietly for a few minutes, and he was the first to speak up again.  "Are you feeling any better about anything?" 
I nodded, pulling away enough to meet his eyes.  "Yeah...thank you.  Thanks for putting up with me,"
He chuckled quietly.  "My pleasure, m'lady." 
That got a grin out of me.  "I haven't heard that one in awhile." 
"Mmmhm...and I got a grin to boot.  Bonus points?" 
I laughed quietly.  "You're awful." 
"I know--" he broke off when we heard a faint whimper:  Jordan. 
I pulled away and stood up.  "Duty calls.  Thank you, again, Eugene."
"Anytime, beautiful.  But-wait.  Can't I even steal a kiss before we tend to the kiddos?" 
I shook my head, but I was more than happy to pull him to his feet and give him a quick, soft kiss before we went to get Jordan up. 

This Week, Flynn, and Ariel.

Soo.....This week's been interesting.  On Wednesday, Tangled Fan decided to turn her room upside down in an attempt to clean it. 
She thought it was an excellent idea to cram alllll of us on one side of the table. 
All of us. 
Ariel's been constantly trying to get a rise out of me - via insulting me or my children or trying to get Logan's attention by paying attention to Eugene.
I'm pretty sure that yesterday, Eugene was about ready to clock someone upside the head.  He was pretty irritated.  And by someone, I mean Ariel, Logan, or Punzie --Logan because he won't control Ariel. 
(Although, what's he going to do, really??  I don't think she CAN be controlled!)   

Today was probably the worst of things.  Zelia and Ray went for a walk, and Logan and Fitz went elsewhere to talk about girls.  It was just Eugene, Zarina, Belle, Punzie, Piper, Emma, Ariel, and I - and the kiddos, of course; and Merida, who didn't really talk much. 
(You can see the wad of blankets on the one edge there,  it's because it's been SUPER COLD the past few nights.  Ugh...)
Belle and I just talked for a good while, and Zarina hung out with Casey as long as Casey wanted. 
Everything was okay until Ariel walked over to me when Zach started whimpering - just because he was sleepy, mind. 
"He's blind, right?"  Ariel asked. 
I looked up warily at her.  "Yes, why?" 
"I was going to say...no wonder if he cries so much, since you're always holding him.  Even he wouldn't want to see your face.  But then again, since he's blind...no surprise, I guess.  Nothing perfect could--"
I jumped up.  If I wouldn't have had Zachary in my arms, I would have probably done something less-than-nice. 
"You know what, Ariel?  Don't even say it.  He's perfect just as he is.  You can insult and harass me all you want, but don't you DARE say a word about my children.  Got it?" 
She threw her head back to expose her long, pale throat.  Laughing, she shook her head.  "The only way to get to you is through your kids!" 
"Why do you have to torment her in the first place, Ariel?"  Eugene stood up, setting Audrey up with Casey and Zarina.  He put a hand on my shoulder.  "You don't have to, you know.  I know I'd really appreciate it if you'd let her and the kids be." 
She shook her head.  "You are all too sensitive." 
"And you're too INsensitive," I mumbled.  I didn't dare say it too loud. 

This went on almost all day.  She knew now that she could get a brilliant rise out of me if she said something about the kids.  I'm just glad she didn't say or do anything to the kids directly.  That's when I think I'd snap.  I won't bother her if she harasses me about how I'm stupid and not pretty, how I dress 'sloppily', how simple I am...but if she as much as touches a hair on one of the kids' heads....that means war. 

But regardless....as if Ariel wasn't enough (Punzie hasn't been as cruel, surprisingly), Flynn has taken to creating new emails and accounts simply to harass me.  Every time I block him, he emails me from a different, new account.  I'm not even going to post a word of what he's said, but here's the rundown of what he's telling me: 
-I'm an idiot
-I'm an idiot for not deleting my blog after the first time he started emailing me
-Eugene should have left me when he got the chance (when he went missing)
-I'm so bland
So on and so forth, the reason I refuse to post his messages directly on here is because of the content.  Who knew a doll could be so...so...vulgar and crude?  Yikes. 
I hate how between the two of them, they're making me start to think about how truly bland I am compared to, say, Ariel - and even Belle.  They're both pretty (despite Ariel's personality), dress well, (although Ariel's dress is fairly inappropriate) and they aren't insecure or easily upset.  I don't wish I could be like Ariel - no, not at all - but I wish I could be less like myself -- proud of who I am, pleased with how I look, and not boring.  And I'm sure the girls would even be happier if I was more interesting.  Not, like, physical appearances-wise, but...interesting.  Able to tell them amazing stories from my past, or unafraid of letting them do things like leave the table, ride horses, etc.  You know?
I haven't told Eugene about this, of course-- he has enough on his plate, and we don't really have the privacy to talk or anything.  I certainly don't want Ariel to overhear about Flynn - who knows what she'd do or say then. 
Yippee.