"Remember me?
I'm the one you trashed on that blog of yours.
I haven't missed you for a minute, but I was curious as to if you ever made a blog. Remember, you told me everything about yourself. Your hopes, your dreams...everything. You were adamant about creating a blog then, too; remember? I still think it's beyond amusing that you believed me. I thought maybe you had grown out of your naivety, but I see you haven't.
Did you really think you could get away with saying such things about me on your blog? Did you really think I would never find out about it? Well...good thing my lovely wife loves the Internet. Caused me a wee bit of trouble when she found out that I had used you, but she got over it. What I would really appreciate of you, stupid girl, is if you would be rid of your blog and clear up my name. I'm sure if you have any followers -- which, if you did, it would surprise me; your writing is horrible and your life is quite dry. I pity your husband and children, you are so dry--your followers likely hate me, and you know that that's an unwarranted and very strong emotion, hate is...especially when you should have known all along what was going on. So clear up my name. My wife demands it, and I cannot blame her - who wants to be married to someone who has been shamed and accused of so much on the Internet? You overreacted, plain and simple, and you will get what you deserve.
I'll make sure you suffer. I may not be able to do anything physically - oh, if I were, your husband would be a brilliant target; I would be kind enough to spare the children- but mentally?
I will break you. Your husband will think you have gone mad! You won't be a proper mother. Everyone you know and love will be gone. This will become all you ever think about. You will become paranoid and wonder how I found you. I know you, possibly better than your husband. I know what you fear, I know what will make you snap. And if you think you can run away? You cannot. I expect everything to be deleted and cleaned up by tomorrow morning."
This was the email I received yesterday afternoon. Flynn finally found me.
When I read his message, I'm glad everyone else was napping, even Eugene (who hadn't slept well the night before), because I was a wreck. I had to keep this hidden from him. I had to bury this message, and I had to forget about it.
But how did Flynn find me?
I made quick work of blocking him from viewing my blog, and then spent the rest of the day in a dazed state. I'm not quite sure what went over me, but everything was a horrible blur, filled with the threats in his message.
I couldn't sleep that night. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did overreact...all the time. And it was just plain unsettling that he's been tracking me on my blog. It's probably stupid of me to even continue POSTING on the blog!
So as to not wake my husband up, I went to the windowsill. I stood and stared out of the window for I don't even know how long, even though it was a bit chilly. I just thought that entire time, and after awhile, I'd managed to convince myself that he was right about everything, and that I was a helpless fool.
But of course...do I even need to say it? Eugene found me. Good grief, he must have this innate ability to know when I'm not there, and exactly where to find me when I can't sleep. Ugh.
He managed to scare the tar out of me, too, but I was especially jumpy to begin with. He came behind me, tossed a blanket over my shoulders, and then gave me a lightning-fast hug from behind before setting his hands on my shoulders. He's lucky I didn't wheel around and go into survival mode and punch him or something, because I almost did. I gasped, my heart lurched, and my entire body shook the split second before I tilted my head back and over my shoulder to see his face.
"Oh, gosh...don't do that to me, you scared me!" I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath, not until I released it.
"Sorry," he chuckled quietly. "What's up? It's cloudy, so I doubt you came to stargaze."
"Oh, I just can't sleep, no biggie," I shrugged his question off, "but thanks for checking up on me." I squeezed one of his hands, which were both still on my shoulders.
"Hmm...what's ailing you?"
"Hmm? Nothing! Nothing wrong...just can't sleep," at which point, I had decided I was a terrible liar and I should add that to the list of things that I fail at doing.
"Well...your words say nothing's wrong, but your eyes say something is terribly wrong. That, and you look guilty as all get-out. Whatever it is, I promise I won't laugh, and I won't think it's stupid."
I started to shake my head, but then I realized that he might have a good idea as to what I should do.
"Um...Flynn found my blog."
"What?!"
"Flynn. H-he found my blog! He emailed the blog email address," I swallowed the growing lump in my throat, which was made of pure fear.
He turned me around so he could see my face. "What did he say?"
"Just a bunch of--"
"Tell me everything, please," he requested, and I took a deep breath as I quickly explained, staring down at my feet.
When I was done -- I left not a word unmentioned. The message was scarred into my mind anyway--I was in tears...no surprise there, right? "....and he's right!" I finished.
His answer was immediate and firm. "Wife of mine....if you believe any word that doll says, you're insane. I know it's hard to ignore all this, but don't even bother thinking that he'll get to you. I won't let him, and I won't let you drown in your own mind in the way he said you will. You're giving him what he wants--he wants to get in your head. You are absolutely nothing that he said you are. Absolutely nothing. And if you think he's right, you're dead wrong. You are beyond dead wrong!"
I nodded, sobbing. "I know, I know...it's plain stupid of me to be upset--"
"That's not what I'm saying, honey...I'm just saying that you shouldn't give him what he wants. It's definitely not stupid of you to be upset - it's perfectly normal. I'M upset that you had to read that!"
I glanced up at him to see how worried his eyes were, even though the tone of his voice suggested he'd like to rip Flynn limb from limb. He took my hands and squeezed them, and that's when I finally gave in and leaned up against him. Quickly taking the hint, he put his arms around me really tightly. I calmed myself down enough to stop crying, but I stayed in his embrace until I knew I wouldn't burst into tears again. Even after I pulled away, he kept his arms loosely around my waist, and watched me close -- probably waiting for me to start bawling over something all over again.
"W-what...what should I do with my blog? Delete it? I already figured out how to block him from viewing or commenting on it, but I'm sure he'll find a way around that." I rubbed at my eyes and nose, waiting for his response, which took a few minutes to construct.
"If you've blocked him, then don't worry about it. If you ever get any emails again from him, or if you think it's him, don't even bother opening them. Just delete them, okay? There...problem solved! Far as I'm concerned, I'm glad his wife read that - she knows who he really is now, and I hope she gave him a lot of grief about it."
"Okay," I nodded. "Thanks...at least y-you've got a head on your shoulders! I was about to panic and delete everything."
He chuckled, pulling me into another quick hug. "Don't worry about him, okay? That's giving him exactly what he wants."
I nodded, feeling silly for getting so upset. "I'll try not to,"
"Anything else you want to chat about? I'm up for a good chat if you want."
"I'm good...thanks though. We both need to get to bed -- I'm sure Zelia wouldn't be very amused if we slept in too late and didn't hear the girls when they wake up!" I gave him a small smile, and he gave me that perfect grin of his in return.
"Yeah...that wouldn't be pretty. It might be really amusing, though."
We headed back to bed, even though I knew I wouldn't go to sleep. It was just very, very unnerving, knowing that he had found me again. Even if it WAS just online, don't you agree that it's slightly freaky? Or is it just me...?
I tossed and turned awhile, and by two in the morning, I was on the verge of tears once more, I was so frustrated and tired. And I was paranoid. I knew his wife likely had not just 'found' my blog. They were probably both in this together. They HAD to have done a lot of digging. They had done this on purpose!
Sometime after I realized this, Eugene sat up in bed and looked down at me. "What's...what's wrong?" he cleared his gravelly throat and rubbed at his horribly baggy eyes.
"Nothing, go back to sleep," I tried to turn on my side to face away from him, but he put a hand on my shoulder and gently kept me from doing so.
"I know that look, babe. Come on...talk to me some more."
"What? There's nothing to talk about! I'm fine, I promise," I lied.
"You'll talk when you're ready," he sighed, but he made no move to lie back down. He just leaned his head back to rest on the wall, and waited me out.
Sometimes, that man is very irritating.
I gave a disgusted huff, sitting up as well. "I'm just spazzed out about all this. They had to have done a lot of digging, and I bet they did all this on purpose. Every time I start to forget about him and feel good about life in general, then he comes back around in some way, and I just wish he would go away!"
He nodded silently. "I know, I'm sorry, sweetie. After this, though, I don't think there are any ways he can try to get to you...so just think of it like that, maybe?" he pulled me close and kissed the top of my head before resting his chin on it.
"I guess," I sighed, starting to pull away to let him go back to sleep. He kept his arms snugly around me, though, and said he wasn't going to let me go until I was sure I was going to be able to sleep. I didn't exactly mind, though...and I don't know why, but it made me feel safe enough to relax.
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