Last night, there was another storm, and it was even worse than the last round...it started up at about eleven thirty, with constant lightning...fun, fun. When the thunder started getting closer, I promptly went to the divider and tapped on it, asking if she was awake. When the answer was a quiet squeak of a yes, I didn't bother saying anything, I just headed over to her side.
"Storm getting to you?" I asked as soon as I knelt beside her.
"Oh! Yeahh, you have perfect timing," she sighed as she pulled the blankets off of her head. "Wow. It was getting too hot to be doing that."
"I suppose so. It's been pretty muggy out lately," I told her, helping her smooth her hair out of her face. I didn't even really think about it, I just did it...she didn't make a big deal of it, so I suppose it didn't bother her..whew.
"Yeah....I'm sorry, this is just so stupid and childish of me...!" She whispered, but then a loud thunderclap shook the windows, and she flew upright, grabbing my arm.
I put my arms around her and did the same thing I did yesterday....held her till the storm calmed down. As I did, I told her that her fear, once more, was not stupid. She would tell me in time why she was so afraid.
Well, sometime was last night, in hushed whispers.
"I was always a little scared of storms, but one day, when I was in Tennessee, there was a really horrible one, and a tornado just barely missed us. I was so scared...and now they just terrify me. So there you have it.."
Whoa. My girl could have been sucked up by a tornado. We never...wow.
"Wow...you have a right to be scared, then. Wow,"
Pascal squirmed on Rapunzel's lap, and we both watched him silently.
When the lightning and thunder were gone, she didn't pull out of my arms right away. "Thanks for staying with me, Eugene ...if you knew--" she broke off, and I wanted to ask her what she was about to say, but I didn't. "If you, ah, knew how much it meant to me...thank you."
I told her it was no problem, and then she gave me a calculating look before kissing my jaw.
And with that, she told me goodnight, curled up on her side with Pascal, and snuggled under the blanket.
Well then.
I said goodnight to her back, and then I kissed the top of her head before I left for my side.
And do I even need to tell you that I was mentally freaking out? Probably not, right???
Today, Rapunzel came over around one. I had already talked with Tangled Fan, so she said she would bring the laptop and DVD back around one-thirty, so we wouldn't have to hunt her down.
She greeted me with a shy smile, her eyes uncertain. She was likely still thinking about last night's little kisses, and she was terribly awkward. I did my best to just act like it was no biggie, and she quickly calmed down.
We just sat and talked for a bit. Nothing big, no pressing matters, no Flynn, no talk about how worthless she was. It was nice! When Tangled Fan came back with the laptop, she--Rapunzel, that is--flopped onto her belly, propped her head up on her arms, kicked her legs up in the air, and stayed that way for the whole movie. When "I See the Light" came on, I couldn't help but start humming. It's just in a Disney doll's plastic to sing, of course. I didn't want to sing in front of her.
But when she realized I was humming -- which didn't take her long--, she grinned and glanced over at me.
"You know..you can sing if you want," she winked, and I decided to tease.
"Okay. I will if you sing the duet with me,"
She looked tempted, which really surprised me. But then she just shook her head. "Nahh, I'll pass. But you should sing -- I just don't want to ruin the song with my terrible voice."
"Your voice is just fine!" Sure, she couldn't hit the "it's like the sky is newwww" part, but the rest was fine.
"How do you know that?" she quirked a brow and turned away from the laptop to look at me again.
Ohh boy.
Did I really just slip up?!
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! "I figure your voice is just fine, rather."
"O-oh," she gave me a distracted smile and turned back to the movie.
Fast-forward to the end of the movie, and I was trying not to cry. Two whole, unmanly tears had already slipped down my cheeks, but I didn't want to wipe them and draw attention to the matter. I just...the thought that Rapunzel could've died when she fell was still all too real, and the ending just reminds me of that -- and that I could very well have ended up losing my best girl.
When the weird little pub thug tied to the lanterns had drifted up and the laptop screen went black before the credits, Rapunzel rolled onto her back with a sigh, clearly satisfied with the movie.
"We'll have to do this agai--are you crying?" she tsked her tongue, sat up, and wiped my cheeks. "The ending get to you, huh? It did me, too."
I chuckled, ducking my head away with embarrassment. "Mm...yeah,"
She smiled, leaning and cocking her head so she could see my face. "So...thanks for doing this with me today."
Turning back to her, I grinned and held my hand out. "It was my pleasure -- nobody I'd rather spend the day with,"
She laughed and took my hand. "You're so sweet."
After we talked for awhile, she finally sighed. "You know...do you know if Tangled Fan would let me use her blog account so I could start a blog? Silly as it seems, I'd love to start one. I keep forgetting to ask her."
YES!
I would tell her about the blog -- this blog.
"Actually, ah...I kinda run a blog, so you could just take it over," I told her.
"Ohh, no. I can make my own--but that's so cool that you have one! Is it fun?"
"It's interesting, but actually...It'd be really great if you took it over. I, ah...I hope you don't mind, but I wrote a little about you. The readers would probably really like to hear from you!"
Translation: Writing is fine, I see why you like it, but take it back please. There's not a post where I HAVEN'T posted about you, and the readers are probably tired of my boring-ness and want their writer back!! But then I realized that those old posts were on there...
Hm.
"Really? I-I guess I don't mind...I mean...it's definitely surprising that you wrote about me, but it's fine. And you think?"
"I know they'd love to hear from you. Just...don't read the old posts, okay? I don't..I'm shy about dolls I know reading stuff I write."
"Ohh, I'm sure you're a great writer. But I can respect that! Thank you so much," she tackled me into a quick hug. Her eyes were absolutely shining with excitement. Soo, since we still had the laptop with us, I showed the blog to her and how to post things...as well as how to get a post up without seeing the titles of the other posts that have been done. Sneaky, I know, but...I don't want her finding out about her past the hard way.
She asked that we share the blog, so I told her we could--that way I can still update you on the girls and such.
I just hope that it makes her remember something from before...slim to none chance, but you can always hope, right? Plus, I'm sure you guys are tired of my writing.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Storms last night
Last night, there were some pretty nasty storms. I couldn't sleep because of them, and I could hear Rapunzel was up and pacing. I was wondering why -- I have been honoring her wanting to be alone so far, but I was worried because she usually paced only if she was really upset, afraid, or nervous. Soo I got up out of bed and crept over to her side of the table. She was the only one up, and was clearly upset about something.
"Hey...what's wrong? I'm sorry, but I couldn't lay in bed and listen to you pacing any longer," I announced myself in a whisper.
She gasped quietly, and when another montage of lightning went off, I saw her face was just filled with fear.
"Go back to bed, I'm sorry I woke you," she whispered.
"No. I've been up...this storm's pretty bad, huh?"
"Yeah...that's why I've been up. I'm...it's really, really stupid, but I'm terrified of storms," the end of her sentence was a squeak, because a loud boom of thunder sounded. That's when lightning cracked and sizzled. For a split second, the room was so bright from it that it was almost like daytime. That basically sent her into a tizzy of fear. Her eyes widened even more, and she tried to run and dive for her corner, but I snagged her arms and pulled her close. She buried her face in my shoulder, and I put my hands over her ears when some more thunder rolled. The thunder was loud enough to make the window shudder...yikes.
She clamped her arms around me so tight I could hardly breathe, but I figured that if it made her feel less afraid, I could deal with some shallow breathing. I kept my arms around her until the majority of the storm had passed through. While I did so, I thought. I couldn't remember her being so terrified about storms, but we haven't had a storm this loud for practically a year, so I'd never been around her when there was a bad storm. I wished I could get to the girls, too, to make sure that they were alright, but Tangled Fan kept them in a different room and in a box, so they probably couldn't even hear much of the storm.
Sometime after the last grumble of thunder had rolled through, she loosed a shuddery sigh and loosened her grip on me. "Th-thank you. It's stupid of me, I know."
I pulled away just enough to see her face. "No, it's not. I know that a lot of people don't like storms,"
She bit her lip. "But it's weird. We got a lot of bad storms in Tennessee, where I came from...and Flynn always laughed when I would get scared....Flynn and everyone else. So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's weird of me," she muttered quietly. Her fear had been replaced with shame.
"Well, I'm not Flynn, and I say that it's just fine. Everyone has those little fears or quirks. I do...I'm not sure about Zelia though. She's just terrifying sometimes," I tried to get her to smile, and it worked.
"Really? And...yeah. She's pretty fearless. I wish I could have a little bit of that bravery."
"That's fine, though. I can't blame you for not being able to sleep, though...it was a pretty loud one."
"Mhm," she nodded before suddenly reaching to hug me again, burying her face in my shoulder. "Thank you for staying up with me, and for not thinking I'm stupid for being afraid."
I wrapped my arms around her and didn't answer her, I just asked, "How's your thinking...going? I'm sorry I kinda broke your two-weeks-of-alone-time thing, but I knew you were upset about something, and I couldn't stand it anymore."
"It's been fine--I've sorted out a few things...Zelia thinks it's stupid of me, but I'm used to the insults. Punzie's been pretty horrible, too, but nothing new with--" she paused as she heard some rain come pattering down on the roof -- gently at first, but then it came down harder and harder. A whisper of thunder reappeared, and lightning could just barely be seen on the horizon line. "--oh, great. I just want to get some sleep..."
I wordlessly slipped away from her, going to scoop up Pascal. I snagged her blanket as well, and then crept back over to her. I think I almost stepped on someone's hand - Punzie..oh dear gosh, that would've been terrifying-- but I made it over to her, putting a hand on her arm.
"C'mon," I whispered.
She did, giving me a curious look. We left the table, and I helped her to scramble up in this great little spot I knew about.
It was under the table and on top of the bins, but it was surrounded on two sides by other boxes and the other side was the wall; the fourth side was open and facing across the room. The boxes blocked the majority of the lightning from being seen -- except for a flash of light in the room--and it somewhat blocked the sound of the thunder. Somewhat. Hardly. But whatever.
After she sat down in the one corner, I wrapped her blanket around her and handed Pascal to her before sitting beside her. "There. You won't be able to see the lightning as much, and I'm hoping it blocks the sound out a wee bit."
She gave me a small smile. "Thank you...this place is actually pretty neat,"
"Yeah...I thought it was, anyway." I watched Pascal get comfortable on her lap as I spoke.
"You can go get some sleep, Eugene. I'll be fine, and I won't wake you up by pacing."
"It's tempting, but I'd prefer staying with you, to be honest."
"Your joints, though..." she gave me a concerned look.
"They will be just fine. I'm not pacing, am I? I'm sitting down."
She sighed. "Okay...if you're sure. And thank you,"
We sat in silence for awhile, but eventually, the thunder started up louder once more. She bit her lip and started to look a bit worried, so I tried to think of something to talk about to distract her.
"So...um...how's Anna been treating you?"
She quirked a brow, staring at me, but then she caught on to what I was trying to do. "She's still avoiding me, but she's less hateful doing it."
We continued the conversation, and despite the storm --which wasn't as violent as the one before it--she, with her knees pulled up to her chest, leaned up against me and fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her up, but I also knew I couldn't carry her up to the table, so I just stayed there too.
This morning, I was up shortly before she was. I was just considering getting up and leaving her on her own when she woke up. She didn't seem to notice me at first, until after she had unfurled her legs and stretched. When she looked over her shoulder, she gasped in surprise.
"O-oh! Did we...did we fall asleep down here?"
"Yeah," I told her -quite simply.
She nodded before giving me a shy smile. "Thanks for staying up with me last night. I, um...I really appreciated it..and I don't think I've ever been calm enough to fall asleep during a storm."
"You're welcome. Glad I had a calming influence on you," I chuckled, putting an arm around her shoulders and hugging her without even thinking. As soon as I caught myself, I started to apologize, but she shook her head.
"That's quite fine," she actually grinned. "Don't be so apologetic."
"Okay, but I'll stop apologizing after I say this: Sorry for breaking the break agreement thing."
She slugged me playfully. "I'm pretty sure I told you not to worry about that. Actually...thank you for doing so. I've been way overthinking things, and I'm pretty sure I just got my answers."
"Hmm...like about what?" I asked, curious.
"Lots of things," she said, probably knowing full well that I really wanted to know.
"Oh, so you're not going to tell me. Typical!" I pretended to be mad, and even threw in a huff of disgust.
She giggled. "I will, but--"
"But not now! You've peaked my curiosity and now you'll leave me hanging forever!" I kept on teasing her, and she gave me that adorable little smile of hers. I haven't seen that one in a long time!
"Do you always tease this much in the morning, or..?" she asked.
"Hmm...I don't know. Maybe," I said with a wink, and she actually leaned up against me, smiling.
"Well...I'll tell you. But not because you're complaining highly about it...I just need to get it off my chest," she gave me a mock-disgusted look for the 'complaining highly' part.
"O-okay?" I must admit that I was a little worried.
"I...I just want to thank you. It's been almost a month, and you've put up with me...so well. You've really opened my eyes as to how a person should act. With Flynn, I was naive, and I was just so excited over the fact that maybe, just maybe, someone cared about me...I didn't have any experience, and I thought that maybe that was just how others acted. Maybe he preferred to be around me when I was prettied up, because I know I look horrible. Geez, I don't look very pretty when I AM prettied up anyway! But regardless...I thought maybe he was just giving me space or pretending he didn't see when I would trip or be clumsy. I thought maybe he was just staking his claim or something when he'd want to be around me when we were around the others...specifically Diane, that girl that he was trying to get the attention of. I thought maybe he was just having a bad day whenever he'd get short with me. But no. If you really care about someone, your actions are...and correct me if I'm wrong, but it's when you can spend hours talking about anything and everything to them, and never get bored. They'll stay up with you no matter what time of the night it is, just because you're lonely or need reassurance. They know exactly what to say and when, and they don't complain if you don't braid your hair or dress up. They just care about you. They don't mind your pet, and you love how they laugh, how they smile, and how they tease you. They'll come and dance with you whenever there's music to dance to, and they don't get mad if you need to vent about your ex or your past...or anything. They put your problems above their own... And...they keep tabs on you via your sister, when you say you need space." she gave me a pensive stare, silently asking me if I got what she was trying to tell me.
Ah.
She knew about when I pulled Zelia aside to ask her how Rapunzel was (I did that Sunday).
Woops...
"Hmm...you know about that - about me keeping tabs on you?"
"Yep," she answered in such a quick, sure manner that I had to laugh.
"I hope you don't mind...I was just worried about ya." I was beyond relieved that she wasn't mad at me or anything.
"No, no...it's fine. I thought it was really sweet, actually," she blushed and giggled quietly before catching herself and immediately dropping her gaze to her lap.
What a change a couple of days had given her. She seemed so happy to have finally gotten Flynn out of her head - for the most part.
I asked what was going to happen to the ban, and she rolled her eyes, saying it was silly of her and that it was done.
"Awesome...so...movie tomorrow?" I accompanied that with my best silly/hopeful face, and was rewarded with a laugh.
"Yes....movie tomorrow,"
"I can't wait," I winked, and she gave me a shy smile. "Oh...and by the way? You saying you're not pretty...that's a straight out lie. You are beautiful, inside and out...just sayin'."
She gasped, but then she burst out laughing, surprised at her own gasp. "Um...I think you're just trying to make me feel good, but thanks."
We decided to leave our little spot, but we made it only as far as my side of the table. She said she wanted to spend the day with me if I was okay with it, and do you really think I was going to pass up that opportunity?? She sat on the wicker chair, and I on the box beside it.
And was I ever glad to have her over for the rest of the day...not a minute was spent talking about Flynn, and I think the proverbial battle's already half over. I wanted to tell her about..well, you know.. but I decided that it was too soon, and I wanted to be sure she trusted me 101% before I told her.
Eventually, though, she sighed and leaned her head up against the wicker chair. "I suppose I need to get back over there..."
"Hmm...I guess." I gave her a smile, even though I was rueful to let her go.
She stood up, and I realized we were holding hands. When had that happened?? Regardless, she gave me a grin, held her other hand out for me to take, and pulled me up off of the box. When I stood, I still held onto her hands, reluctant to let her go. But regardless, I gave her a grin.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she met my eyes and gave me a smile in return.
"Yup! When?" I asked.
"Hmm...around one?"
"Awesome," I told her, and she nodded before she turned to leave. "Wait!"
"What?" she turned and gave me a curious look.
"Thanks for spending the day over here. It might sound silly, but I missed you these past coupla days."
She gave me an honest-to-goodness, toothy smile, but then her eyes actually teared up a bit as she came back over. "Thank you. I have to admit...I missed you a bit, too. I'm sorry I've been so weird..I'm just afraid of letting my guard down...you know?"
"I know," I pulled her into another hug. "You can trust me, though. I promise I'd never do anything to hurt you, okay?"
She buried her face in my shoulder for a minute, but then she pulled away and gave me a teasing grin as she held her little finger out. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise...just for you," I pretended to be exasperated, and she laughed as she linked her tiny finger with mine.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled up at me, holding my gaze, and I nodded.
"See ya then," I told her. I made sure she had her blanket and Pascal with her, and then she started to leave. Before she went to the other side, though, she turned back to me with a shy smile.
"And thanks once more for staying with me last night. I don't think I've ever felt safer, to be honest."
With that, she left.
"Hey...what's wrong? I'm sorry, but I couldn't lay in bed and listen to you pacing any longer," I announced myself in a whisper.
She gasped quietly, and when another montage of lightning went off, I saw her face was just filled with fear.
"Go back to bed, I'm sorry I woke you," she whispered.
"No. I've been up...this storm's pretty bad, huh?"
"Yeah...that's why I've been up. I'm...it's really, really stupid, but I'm terrified of storms," the end of her sentence was a squeak, because a loud boom of thunder sounded. That's when lightning cracked and sizzled. For a split second, the room was so bright from it that it was almost like daytime. That basically sent her into a tizzy of fear. Her eyes widened even more, and she tried to run and dive for her corner, but I snagged her arms and pulled her close. She buried her face in my shoulder, and I put my hands over her ears when some more thunder rolled. The thunder was loud enough to make the window shudder...yikes.
She clamped her arms around me so tight I could hardly breathe, but I figured that if it made her feel less afraid, I could deal with some shallow breathing. I kept my arms around her until the majority of the storm had passed through. While I did so, I thought. I couldn't remember her being so terrified about storms, but we haven't had a storm this loud for practically a year, so I'd never been around her when there was a bad storm. I wished I could get to the girls, too, to make sure that they were alright, but Tangled Fan kept them in a different room and in a box, so they probably couldn't even hear much of the storm.
Sometime after the last grumble of thunder had rolled through, she loosed a shuddery sigh and loosened her grip on me. "Th-thank you. It's stupid of me, I know."
I pulled away just enough to see her face. "No, it's not. I know that a lot of people don't like storms,"
She bit her lip. "But it's weird. We got a lot of bad storms in Tennessee, where I came from...and Flynn always laughed when I would get scared....Flynn and everyone else. So yeah, I'm pretty sure it's weird of me," she muttered quietly. Her fear had been replaced with shame.
"Well, I'm not Flynn, and I say that it's just fine. Everyone has those little fears or quirks. I do...I'm not sure about Zelia though. She's just terrifying sometimes," I tried to get her to smile, and it worked.
"Really? And...yeah. She's pretty fearless. I wish I could have a little bit of that bravery."
"That's fine, though. I can't blame you for not being able to sleep, though...it was a pretty loud one."
"Mhm," she nodded before suddenly reaching to hug me again, burying her face in my shoulder. "Thank you for staying up with me, and for not thinking I'm stupid for being afraid."
I wrapped my arms around her and didn't answer her, I just asked, "How's your thinking...going? I'm sorry I kinda broke your two-weeks-of-alone-time thing, but I knew you were upset about something, and I couldn't stand it anymore."
"It's been fine--I've sorted out a few things...Zelia thinks it's stupid of me, but I'm used to the insults. Punzie's been pretty horrible, too, but nothing new with--" she paused as she heard some rain come pattering down on the roof -- gently at first, but then it came down harder and harder. A whisper of thunder reappeared, and lightning could just barely be seen on the horizon line. "--oh, great. I just want to get some sleep..."
I wordlessly slipped away from her, going to scoop up Pascal. I snagged her blanket as well, and then crept back over to her. I think I almost stepped on someone's hand - Punzie..oh dear gosh, that would've been terrifying-- but I made it over to her, putting a hand on her arm.
"C'mon," I whispered.
She did, giving me a curious look. We left the table, and I helped her to scramble up in this great little spot I knew about.
It was under the table and on top of the bins, but it was surrounded on two sides by other boxes and the other side was the wall; the fourth side was open and facing across the room. The boxes blocked the majority of the lightning from being seen -- except for a flash of light in the room--and it somewhat blocked the sound of the thunder. Somewhat. Hardly. But whatever.
After she sat down in the one corner, I wrapped her blanket around her and handed Pascal to her before sitting beside her. "There. You won't be able to see the lightning as much, and I'm hoping it blocks the sound out a wee bit."
She gave me a small smile. "Thank you...this place is actually pretty neat,"
"Yeah...I thought it was, anyway." I watched Pascal get comfortable on her lap as I spoke.
"You can go get some sleep, Eugene. I'll be fine, and I won't wake you up by pacing."
"It's tempting, but I'd prefer staying with you, to be honest."
"Your joints, though..." she gave me a concerned look.
"They will be just fine. I'm not pacing, am I? I'm sitting down."
She sighed. "Okay...if you're sure. And thank you,"
We sat in silence for awhile, but eventually, the thunder started up louder once more. She bit her lip and started to look a bit worried, so I tried to think of something to talk about to distract her.
"So...um...how's Anna been treating you?"
She quirked a brow, staring at me, but then she caught on to what I was trying to do. "She's still avoiding me, but she's less hateful doing it."
We continued the conversation, and despite the storm --which wasn't as violent as the one before it--she, with her knees pulled up to her chest, leaned up against me and fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her up, but I also knew I couldn't carry her up to the table, so I just stayed there too.
This morning, I was up shortly before she was. I was just considering getting up and leaving her on her own when she woke up. She didn't seem to notice me at first, until after she had unfurled her legs and stretched. When she looked over her shoulder, she gasped in surprise.
"O-oh! Did we...did we fall asleep down here?"
"Yeah," I told her -quite simply.
She nodded before giving me a shy smile. "Thanks for staying up with me last night. I, um...I really appreciated it..and I don't think I've ever been calm enough to fall asleep during a storm."
"You're welcome. Glad I had a calming influence on you," I chuckled, putting an arm around her shoulders and hugging her without even thinking. As soon as I caught myself, I started to apologize, but she shook her head.
"That's quite fine," she actually grinned. "Don't be so apologetic."
"Okay, but I'll stop apologizing after I say this: Sorry for breaking the break agreement thing."
She slugged me playfully. "I'm pretty sure I told you not to worry about that. Actually...thank you for doing so. I've been way overthinking things, and I'm pretty sure I just got my answers."
"Hmm...like about what?" I asked, curious.
"Lots of things," she said, probably knowing full well that I really wanted to know.
"Oh, so you're not going to tell me. Typical!" I pretended to be mad, and even threw in a huff of disgust.
She giggled. "I will, but--"
"But not now! You've peaked my curiosity and now you'll leave me hanging forever!" I kept on teasing her, and she gave me that adorable little smile of hers. I haven't seen that one in a long time!
"Do you always tease this much in the morning, or..?" she asked.
"Hmm...I don't know. Maybe," I said with a wink, and she actually leaned up against me, smiling.
"Well...I'll tell you. But not because you're complaining highly about it...I just need to get it off my chest," she gave me a mock-disgusted look for the 'complaining highly' part.
"O-okay?" I must admit that I was a little worried.
"I...I just want to thank you. It's been almost a month, and you've put up with me...so well. You've really opened my eyes as to how a person should act. With Flynn, I was naive, and I was just so excited over the fact that maybe, just maybe, someone cared about me...I didn't have any experience, and I thought that maybe that was just how others acted. Maybe he preferred to be around me when I was prettied up, because I know I look horrible. Geez, I don't look very pretty when I AM prettied up anyway! But regardless...I thought maybe he was just giving me space or pretending he didn't see when I would trip or be clumsy. I thought maybe he was just staking his claim or something when he'd want to be around me when we were around the others...specifically Diane, that girl that he was trying to get the attention of. I thought maybe he was just having a bad day whenever he'd get short with me. But no. If you really care about someone, your actions are...and correct me if I'm wrong, but it's when you can spend hours talking about anything and everything to them, and never get bored. They'll stay up with you no matter what time of the night it is, just because you're lonely or need reassurance. They know exactly what to say and when, and they don't complain if you don't braid your hair or dress up. They just care about you. They don't mind your pet, and you love how they laugh, how they smile, and how they tease you. They'll come and dance with you whenever there's music to dance to, and they don't get mad if you need to vent about your ex or your past...or anything. They put your problems above their own... And...they keep tabs on you via your sister, when you say you need space." she gave me a pensive stare, silently asking me if I got what she was trying to tell me.
Ah.
She knew about when I pulled Zelia aside to ask her how Rapunzel was (I did that Sunday).
Woops...
"Hmm...you know about that - about me keeping tabs on you?"
"Yep," she answered in such a quick, sure manner that I had to laugh.
"I hope you don't mind...I was just worried about ya." I was beyond relieved that she wasn't mad at me or anything.
"No, no...it's fine. I thought it was really sweet, actually," she blushed and giggled quietly before catching herself and immediately dropping her gaze to her lap.
What a change a couple of days had given her. She seemed so happy to have finally gotten Flynn out of her head - for the most part.
I asked what was going to happen to the ban, and she rolled her eyes, saying it was silly of her and that it was done.
"Awesome...so...movie tomorrow?" I accompanied that with my best silly/hopeful face, and was rewarded with a laugh.
"Yes....movie tomorrow,"
"I can't wait," I winked, and she gave me a shy smile. "Oh...and by the way? You saying you're not pretty...that's a straight out lie. You are beautiful, inside and out...just sayin'."
She gasped, but then she burst out laughing, surprised at her own gasp. "Um...I think you're just trying to make me feel good, but thanks."
We decided to leave our little spot, but we made it only as far as my side of the table. She said she wanted to spend the day with me if I was okay with it, and do you really think I was going to pass up that opportunity?? She sat on the wicker chair, and I on the box beside it.
And was I ever glad to have her over for the rest of the day...not a minute was spent talking about Flynn, and I think the proverbial battle's already half over. I wanted to tell her about..well, you know.. but I decided that it was too soon, and I wanted to be sure she trusted me 101% before I told her.
Eventually, though, she sighed and leaned her head up against the wicker chair. "I suppose I need to get back over there..."
"Hmm...I guess." I gave her a smile, even though I was rueful to let her go.
She stood up, and I realized we were holding hands. When had that happened?? Regardless, she gave me a grin, held her other hand out for me to take, and pulled me up off of the box. When I stood, I still held onto her hands, reluctant to let her go. But regardless, I gave her a grin.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she met my eyes and gave me a smile in return.
"Yup! When?" I asked.
"Hmm...around one?"
"Awesome," I told her, and she nodded before she turned to leave. "Wait!"
"What?" she turned and gave me a curious look.
"Thanks for spending the day over here. It might sound silly, but I missed you these past coupla days."
She gave me an honest-to-goodness, toothy smile, but then her eyes actually teared up a bit as she came back over. "Thank you. I have to admit...I missed you a bit, too. I'm sorry I've been so weird..I'm just afraid of letting my guard down...you know?"
"I know," I pulled her into another hug. "You can trust me, though. I promise I'd never do anything to hurt you, okay?"
She buried her face in my shoulder for a minute, but then she pulled away and gave me a teasing grin as she held her little finger out. "Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise...just for you," I pretended to be exasperated, and she laughed as she linked her tiny finger with mine.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled up at me, holding my gaze, and I nodded.
"See ya then," I told her. I made sure she had her blanket and Pascal with her, and then she started to leave. Before she went to the other side, though, she turned back to me with a shy smile.
"And thanks once more for staying with me last night. I don't think I've ever felt safer, to be honest."
With that, she left.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Joints part 2 and Rapunzel's ban...
This morning, I just stayed in bed, staring way up at the ceiling for awhile. I wasn't looking forward to getting up, because I wasn't sure that my hips would stay better. They felt better, yeah, but would they stay better?
Well, around 8-ish, I heard Rapunzel come over to my side of the table. I bolted upright in bed...too fast. I called that I was still in bed and would be out in a minute, but it came out pretty gravelly. I was, of course, fighting the urge to either black out or vomit because I'd sat up way too fast. She must've realized something was up, because she was beside the bed in a second.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just, ah..sat up too fast," I blinked repeatedly until I stopped feeling weird.
"I didn't wake you up, did I?" she gave me a worried look. "And how are you feeling?"
"No, I was just laying around, and I'm fine - I won't really tell how much better my joints are until I start walking on them, though, and that's why I was kinda procrastinating on getting up," I explained.
"Okay," she nodded. I finally realized how she looked. She looked worried, and was fiddling with her hair. When I asked what was wrong, she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, held her breath...let it all out in a big rush, and then grimaced. "I...need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's wrong?" I asked. This didn't sound good. Had I done something wrong? I swung my legs to dangle over the bed and patted the spot next to me. She sat down, but she wouldn't look me in the eye. She looked like a scared little kid, and that just tore me apart.
"I-I...mind if I ask for a rain check on that movie? I...I just need some time to think by myself. I figure that if I give myself two weeks, I'll have some things straightened out that have been bothering me." she grabbed a lock of her hair and started furiously running her hands through it once more...until she got both of them tangled up. When she did, she gave a frustrated groan and pulled her hands up, hair and all, to bury her face in them.
"Hey...what's...I'm confused. What's wrong?" I took her hands -and hair- away from her face so I could untangle her fingers.
"I just...I'm confused and I need time to think. By myself. Without...getting more confused."
"Is it something I've done? I'm so sorry, Rapunzel...was it--"
"You haven't done anything wrong, bud. Just...like I said. I just need to think some things over," she bit her lip, and I realized I was holding onto her hands, still from when I'd untangled them from her hair.
Way to be a moron...I thought as I promptly let go of her and slid a bit further away from her. When I realized that was the wrong thing to do, because her eyes quickly teared up and clouded over with confusion, I pulled her into a hug as my mind wailed. Girls are way too confusing. She was never this way before...what'd I do? I just wish she'd tell me. She hugged me back, but then pulled away. "I promise I'm not upset or mad at you, and I don't want you worrying or getting your joints messed up again because of this, okay? I'll see ya in two weeks, I promise," she gave me a small smile, stood up, and left. Just like that.
Soo I just rolled back into bed -- no use of getting up, anyway...not right now, at least -- and sighed.
Later today, I went over and peered around the divider, caught Zelia's eye, and jerked my head slightly, trying to get her to come with me. Luckily, nobody else noticed. And by nobody else, I mean Rapunzel.
Zelia got the hint, and we went under the table.
"I'm losing her. I'm so afraid, Zelia. You can't possibly understand, but you're around her more. What do I do? She told me to give her two weeks by herself. I'm losing her-"
"Quit repeating yourself. You're not losing her. She's falling for you, and she's terrified and is struggling against her feelings, because she doesn't want to be hurt again. The past few days, she's been talking a lot about you...she keeps saying about how she wishes she was different, how she wishes she was prettier, how she wishes she was not as clumsy...and that all usually links back to something about you or Flynn. She thinks she needs to change herself, because she thinks you're out of her league. But at the same time, she's still hung up on Flynn. She thought that their love was true, when it instead was unrequited. He's hard to forget, and there's also most likely this little nagging worry at the back of her mind that tells her that she'll get used again. So she distances herself."
"But she was never this way before..."
"Things are different, Eugene. Very, very different. Get that through your head, okay?"
I nodded quietly. "But what should I do?"
"Keep being your normal self...if you can call yourself normal. But just...don't give her those two weeks. She might be testing the waters, seeing what you'll do...wondering if you care."
I sighed. "You're sure that's what I should do?"
"Positive."
"Okay." I nodded, feeling mentally drained.
She headed back up to the table, but I went for a walk, thinking about what to do and testing my joints (which were fine--thankfully). When I came back, it was around ten, and the darkness surrounded me like a thick blanket. Tangled Fan had recently given me the lamp, which I could use on nights I couldn't sleep, so I flicked it on. I went over and sat beside the divider, tapping on it gently.
"What?" was the prompt answer from Rapunzel.
"I was just wondering if you were up, and if so, if you needed someone to talk to. You just seemed pretty upset today,"
"I'm fine, Eugene, really. I just need time alone, okay?"
"Okay. Sorry...but can I just ask two things?"
She sighed. "Okay. What?"
"Are you sure it wasn't something I did?" I leaned my head up against the divider and waited for her answer.
"Noo, no, it definitely wasn't something you did, so don't worry. I promise I just need two weeks to sort my mind out. What was your other question?"
"After the two weeks are up, then will we watch Tangled together?"
I heard her giggle quietly. "Oh, Eugene...yes. We'll watch Tangled, I promise. Now, get to sleep, and don't pace around tonight!"
I couldn't help but smile -- at least she was feeling good enough to giggle. "Okay. Good night, and you get some sleep yourself -- none of this lack of sleep stuff, okay?"
"Hmm....no promises."
"If I have to come over there and tickle you until you promise to sleep-" I started to tease, reluctant to stop talking with her.
She started laughing. "No....you don't have to do that. You're...oh my."
"I'm what?"
She went silent for a few seconds. "Y-you're....really funny."
Hmm...now, why didn't I believe that?
But I laughed it off and told her good night again.
Annd so then I went to bed with that good ole, familiar ache in my chest.
Well, around 8-ish, I heard Rapunzel come over to my side of the table. I bolted upright in bed...too fast. I called that I was still in bed and would be out in a minute, but it came out pretty gravelly. I was, of course, fighting the urge to either black out or vomit because I'd sat up way too fast. She must've realized something was up, because she was beside the bed in a second.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just, ah..sat up too fast," I blinked repeatedly until I stopped feeling weird.
"I didn't wake you up, did I?" she gave me a worried look. "And how are you feeling?"
"No, I was just laying around, and I'm fine - I won't really tell how much better my joints are until I start walking on them, though, and that's why I was kinda procrastinating on getting up," I explained.
"Okay," she nodded. I finally realized how she looked. She looked worried, and was fiddling with her hair. When I asked what was wrong, she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, held her breath...let it all out in a big rush, and then grimaced. "I...need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's wrong?" I asked. This didn't sound good. Had I done something wrong? I swung my legs to dangle over the bed and patted the spot next to me. She sat down, but she wouldn't look me in the eye. She looked like a scared little kid, and that just tore me apart.
"I-I...mind if I ask for a rain check on that movie? I...I just need some time to think by myself. I figure that if I give myself two weeks, I'll have some things straightened out that have been bothering me." she grabbed a lock of her hair and started furiously running her hands through it once more...until she got both of them tangled up. When she did, she gave a frustrated groan and pulled her hands up, hair and all, to bury her face in them.
"Hey...what's...I'm confused. What's wrong?" I took her hands -and hair- away from her face so I could untangle her fingers.
"I just...I'm confused and I need time to think. By myself. Without...getting more confused."
"Is it something I've done? I'm so sorry, Rapunzel...was it--"
"You haven't done anything wrong, bud. Just...like I said. I just need to think some things over," she bit her lip, and I realized I was holding onto her hands, still from when I'd untangled them from her hair.
Way to be a moron...I thought as I promptly let go of her and slid a bit further away from her. When I realized that was the wrong thing to do, because her eyes quickly teared up and clouded over with confusion, I pulled her into a hug as my mind wailed. Girls are way too confusing. She was never this way before...what'd I do? I just wish she'd tell me. She hugged me back, but then pulled away. "I promise I'm not upset or mad at you, and I don't want you worrying or getting your joints messed up again because of this, okay? I'll see ya in two weeks, I promise," she gave me a small smile, stood up, and left. Just like that.
Soo I just rolled back into bed -- no use of getting up, anyway...not right now, at least -- and sighed.
Later today, I went over and peered around the divider, caught Zelia's eye, and jerked my head slightly, trying to get her to come with me. Luckily, nobody else noticed. And by nobody else, I mean Rapunzel.
Zelia got the hint, and we went under the table.
"I'm losing her. I'm so afraid, Zelia. You can't possibly understand, but you're around her more. What do I do? She told me to give her two weeks by herself. I'm losing her-"
"Quit repeating yourself. You're not losing her. She's falling for you, and she's terrified and is struggling against her feelings, because she doesn't want to be hurt again. The past few days, she's been talking a lot about you...she keeps saying about how she wishes she was different, how she wishes she was prettier, how she wishes she was not as clumsy...and that all usually links back to something about you or Flynn. She thinks she needs to change herself, because she thinks you're out of her league. But at the same time, she's still hung up on Flynn. She thought that their love was true, when it instead was unrequited. He's hard to forget, and there's also most likely this little nagging worry at the back of her mind that tells her that she'll get used again. So she distances herself."
"But she was never this way before..."
"Things are different, Eugene. Very, very different. Get that through your head, okay?"
I nodded quietly. "But what should I do?"
"Keep being your normal self...if you can call yourself normal. But just...don't give her those two weeks. She might be testing the waters, seeing what you'll do...wondering if you care."
I sighed. "You're sure that's what I should do?"
"Positive."
"Okay." I nodded, feeling mentally drained.
She headed back up to the table, but I went for a walk, thinking about what to do and testing my joints (which were fine--thankfully). When I came back, it was around ten, and the darkness surrounded me like a thick blanket. Tangled Fan had recently given me the lamp, which I could use on nights I couldn't sleep, so I flicked it on. I went over and sat beside the divider, tapping on it gently.
"What?" was the prompt answer from Rapunzel.
"I was just wondering if you were up, and if so, if you needed someone to talk to. You just seemed pretty upset today,"
"I'm fine, Eugene, really. I just need time alone, okay?"
"Okay. Sorry...but can I just ask two things?"
She sighed. "Okay. What?"
"Are you sure it wasn't something I did?" I leaned my head up against the divider and waited for her answer.
"Noo, no, it definitely wasn't something you did, so don't worry. I promise I just need two weeks to sort my mind out. What was your other question?"
"After the two weeks are up, then will we watch Tangled together?"
I heard her giggle quietly. "Oh, Eugene...yes. We'll watch Tangled, I promise. Now, get to sleep, and don't pace around tonight!"
I couldn't help but smile -- at least she was feeling good enough to giggle. "Okay. Good night, and you get some sleep yourself -- none of this lack of sleep stuff, okay?"
"Hmm....no promises."
"If I have to come over there and tickle you until you promise to sleep-" I started to tease, reluctant to stop talking with her.
She started laughing. "No....you don't have to do that. You're...oh my."
"I'm what?"
She went silent for a few seconds. "Y-you're....really funny."
Hmm...now, why didn't I believe that?
But I laughed it off and told her good night again.
Annd so then I went to bed with that good ole, familiar ache in my chest.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Stupid joints...and Rapunzel's being..weird...?
I haven't been able to see the girls much this week, which really bothers me. Tangled Fan has been busy with class assignments and stuff outside, so I haven't been able to see them. Ugh. I haven't been sleeping because of that, of course. I'm just worried about them, and Rapunzel, and..yeah. You get the point. But regardless...this happened.
This afternoon, I went out on the windowsill. To my surprise, Rapunzel was already there, staring out the window. I had to smile when I saw her, because she just looked so beautiful. Silly, I know. But regardless, she soon noticed me.
"Oh! Um, hey. I didn't see you there, sorry!"
"It's fine. Mind if I stay here?"
"No, not at all," she gave me a small smile. "I was just thinking."
We sat quietly for awhile, but then I asked if she had seen any movies before. She, of course, answered with no, and I asked if she wanted to see Tangled.
"When?"
"Hmm...are you free this afternoon?" I asked. I knew it was a bit of a bad idea, because my joints have been acting up. I'm sure Rapunzel told you about how, back in January-ish, my hip joints got messed up. Well, the problem only resurfaces if I walk way too much. Turns out, since Rapunzel's accident, I've been up through the night a lot more, and because of that, I pace. When I pace,....you get the gist. My joints have been pretty sore, but I haven't let on to it yet. I don't want to worry her, and I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't have any more issues with my joints! Oh, yeah right. Well, today, my joints were especially bad. The idea of walking the whole way across the room, down the hallway, and into the kitchen or living room....it was purely a bad idea. I should've known better, but at the same time, I just wanted to be with my girl. But anyway.
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah! That sounds like fun."
Soo, we headed down to the floor to start our journey.
Unfortunately for me, I landed the wrong way when I jumped down, and I was surprised I was still able to keep my balance.
Riiight. Well, we hardly made it halfway across the room before I lost my balance. When I lost it, I...lost it. I stumbled, and would have fallen if it wouldn't have been for a box. I grabbed onto it with one arm, and Rapunzel gasped.
"A-are you okay? Oh my goodness, what happened?! Are you okay?" she helped me back upright, and gave me a concerned gaze. When I didn't say anything--I was trying to catch my breath, but the pain was just intense enough that I couldn't. "Do you need me to get Tangled Fan?"
I held up a hand, waving off her concern. "N-no...I'm fine." I panted. "I-I should've told you before, but I didn't...want you to worry...I'm sorry. At the beginning of the year, I had an accident and ended up really messing up my hip joints. I usually am fine, but lately, I've been having a hard time sleeping, and when I can't sleep, I usually pace. Walking too much gets this problem fired up, and...."
She gasped again, giving me a look of sheer horror. "Sit down, right now." I started to shake my head, but she gave me that classic and incredibly sour, "do it or I'll MAKE you" look before repeating her request. I sat down, and she sat as well, biting her lip.
"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. You're so pale....what do you want me to do?"
"Nothing...and it's not your fault. Just...gimme a few minutes. If you want to go get Tangled Fan to set up the movie, you can-"
"Excuse me, but I am not leaving you here alone!"
Alrighty then...
"Well, all I'll be doing is sitting here until I feel up to moving,"
"And I'll stay with you as long as it takes. You've been here for me, so now I'm here for you!"
Ah. That was her logic. Okay.
"Well...thank you."
She scooted a bit closer. "How long have your joints been hurting? I know it's because of us going for day-long walks, so don't skirt around it."
"It's not...it's not because of that. And, oh I don't know. A few days...maybe a week?"
She pressed her hand over her mouth. "Ohh..."
"Like I said, don't get upset. I'm sorry, I was really looking forward to watching the movie with you,"
She slid right over beside me, and shook her head. "That's fine! We'll...shoot for tomorrow, maybe? Or the day after. Sometime, I promise! And stop apologizing. That's at least the second time."
I chuckled. "I could say the same to you, you know."
Rolling her eyes, she didn't hide her smile. "At least you must be feeling a tad better, your face isn't as pale...?"
"Yeah....like I said, you could go...I'll be fine."
Instead of saying anything, she silently gave me a smile and left.
Thinking I was alone for the rest of the day after she had left, I eased myself down onto my back. It took some of my weight off my joints, at least, and that helped some. I was kind of melancholy that she had left, but it was far better than her sitting here, watching me be a big baby.
But wait....she wasn't gone!
After awhile, I heard a couple of grumbles, a grunt, and a yelp...so I propped myself up to see...
None other than Rapunzel, trotting back with Tangled Fan's headphones and MP3 player. The cord, which was way too long, trailed behind her and tangled up around her ankles. She tripped, almost fell down...and noticed I was struggling to sit up. I was planning to help her, even if I had to crawl!
"Noo, no-no-no! Stay right there!" she exclaimed...before she dropped the headphones and kicked them my way. They stopped right by my head -- I was getting ready for them to crash into me, but they didn't--and she gave an adorable, triumphant giggle.
I watched quietly as she set the MP3 up, cranked it up to nearly full-blast, and then set it to play.
"There!" she turned to me, her smile waning slightly. "How are you?"
"I'm fine...thanks,"
"I thought we could listen to music. I remember you said you liked to listen to music, soo..."she shrugged and looked over at me before she flopped down onto her back, putting her hands behind her head.
"Thank you...really. It means a lot," I told her.
"So...what songs do you recommend?" she asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence.
As a good song would come on, I would tell her. Most of the songs I pointed out were ones I liked because they reminded me of her, but I didn't point that out.
However....once or twice, I caught her watching me, so I think maybe she was catching on. Oops....
We stayed like that for hours. I was pretty stiff, unfortunately, by the time I decided that she wasn't going to leave until I was back on the table. As soon as I stood up, I realized just how stiff I was. I stumbled a step and hoped she hadn't seen...but of course, she had.
"Wait a sec, bud," she told me as she shoved the MP3 and headphones out from the middle of the floor.
"I'm fine," I told her repeatedly - and every time, she would say huh-uh or just shake her head, and then that stubborn girl tucked herself under my arm and slid her arms around me.
"You might say you're fine, but you obviously are not. C'mon-"
"I'm fine by myself," I reassured her. "I don't want to stumble and hurt you, or something."
"You won't," she tightened her grip around me, so I put an arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. I figured that she would think that I was just holding onto her for balance, when I was really giving her a one-armed hug...and keeping my balance.
When we got up to the table, she asked where I wanted to go. I told her I'd be fine on the wicker chair, and so she led me over there. I eased myself down onto the chair, and she bit her lip, giving me a concerned look.
"I'm fine, don't worr-"
"I'm not worrying," said the obviously non-worried girl...as she toyed with her hair. Trademark worried Rapunzel move.
"The way you're biting your lip, playing with your hair, and the way your brows are furrowed all tell me you're worried," I pointed out.
She allowed her hands to pounce up on her hips, as she gave me a mock-insulted expression. "Fine, Sherlock. I'm worried."
"C'mere," I patted the box beside me, and she quickly obliged. When she sat down, I risked putting my hands on her shoulders. Oh, wow...I twisted the wrong way to do that, and pain zinged across my hips and up my back. I tried not to grimace, though. "I've done this more than once, I'll be okay. It's really no big problem. If I need Tangled Fan, I'll get her. I don't want you worried, okay?"
"It's....it's not that, entirely. Well, it is, but..oh, never mind!" she muttered, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Then what? Tell--"
"I need to let you get some rest. You will rest up, right? I'll be back later to help you get to your bed,"
"I won't need help--"
"Well, you'll get some, anyway, then. I'll see you later."
Just like that, her mood changed. Her face became unreadable, and I could tell she was guarding something. She quickly fled my side of the table, and I couldn't help but wonder what I'd done.
I'd probably messed up somehow...maybe putting my hands on her shoulders had upset her? Was it when I had put an arm around her when she was helping me back to the table? Did she think I was faking this, just to get her sympathy or something? What had I done? I wanted to just ask her when she came over later --if she did-- but I didn't want to pry.
By eleven PM, I was feeling just a tiny bit better, but my concerns about Rapunzel hadn't ceased. But regardless, I stumbled back to bed and started to smooth the blanket out, leaning up against the bed to do so. That's when I heard Rapunzel calling quietly.
"I'm over here...getting my bed ready," I called, and she rushed to join me behind the cutout.
"How'd you get back here?"
"I walked, silly," I teased her in an attempt to get her to lighten up, since her eyes were filled with concern. When her expression turned darker and her eyes actually filled with tears, I softened. "Hey...I'm sorry. I was just trying to get you to laugh-" I fell short of saying 'hon'. Woops.
She shook her head. "I'm just...I have a lot on my mind and I'm touchy right now. It's fine. Anyway, ah...since you're okay back here, d'ya want me to leave? Sorry, I came a bit too late. I should've--"
"You're just fine. And actually, I'd like it if you stuck around and told me what's wrong," I gingerly sat down on the bed and patted the spot near me.
She started to refuse, but then I gave her an overly-dramatic puppy-dog pout. "Oh, geez, Eugene. If you really...fine. I suppose it'll help to talk,"
"Mmhm!" I gave her an encouraging grin - at least, I hoped so - and she sighed and sat beside me.
"This is so stupid, and I feel bad to keep you up talking, but...I just feel really terrible. If you've been having problems with your joints for 'a few days or a week', it's my fault, because we've been going for such long walks. And I feel horrible because I've been complaining so much to you about Flynn and just everything, and you...you have actual problems, and you never even t-told me!"
Oh, geez. She always had blamed herself...Shoulda known.
"Rapunzel, it is not your fault. It's not the long walks that get to me, it's that combined with, mostly, lack of sleep and pacing when I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure that your problems are actual, legit problems, too, by the way. I didn't tell you, because I don't like to tell anyone about my joint issue. Silly, I know," we both sighed at the same time, and she ducked her head.
"I just...I'm sorry. I should have noticed something was off--"
"Nothing was off for you to notice," I told her, and her eyebrows furrowed.
"You're sure?" she asked.
"I am positive, dear girl--er, um...rather--sorry." I let that one slip out without even thinking. Way to blow it...I was about to just head-slap myself when she giggled, her face burning red.
"It's fine," she blushed an intriguing color of crimson Her neck was red! "Um...so...I-I should let you get some rest. I'll be over in the morning...?"
"Yep...if I'm still asleep, just come and yell in my face, wake me up," I joked, and I finally got that laugh out of her. Thank goodness!
"Okay. Movie tomorrow, maybe? If you're feeling up to it," she got shy at the end of the sentence, ducking her head so her hair covered most of her face like a thick, yellow curtain.
"Sounds great," I told her, resisting the urge to brush the hair out of her face.
Then, she randomly grabbed me into a tight hug. I choked in surprise, but I hugged her back, of course. When she finally pulled away, she didn't look happier -- in fact, she looked even more troubled. That was really concerning...
We exchanged 'good night's, and then she left. And as for me? Well...I gingerly let myself down onto my back, and hoped I would go to sleep before I started worrying.
This afternoon, I went out on the windowsill. To my surprise, Rapunzel was already there, staring out the window. I had to smile when I saw her, because she just looked so beautiful. Silly, I know. But regardless, she soon noticed me.
"Oh! Um, hey. I didn't see you there, sorry!"
"It's fine. Mind if I stay here?"
"No, not at all," she gave me a small smile. "I was just thinking."
We sat quietly for awhile, but then I asked if she had seen any movies before. She, of course, answered with no, and I asked if she wanted to see Tangled.
"When?"
"Hmm...are you free this afternoon?" I asked. I knew it was a bit of a bad idea, because my joints have been acting up. I'm sure Rapunzel told you about how, back in January-ish, my hip joints got messed up. Well, the problem only resurfaces if I walk way too much. Turns out, since Rapunzel's accident, I've been up through the night a lot more, and because of that, I pace. When I pace,....you get the gist. My joints have been pretty sore, but I haven't let on to it yet. I don't want to worry her, and I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't have any more issues with my joints! Oh, yeah right. Well, today, my joints were especially bad. The idea of walking the whole way across the room, down the hallway, and into the kitchen or living room....it was purely a bad idea. I should've known better, but at the same time, I just wanted to be with my girl. But anyway.
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah! That sounds like fun."
Soo, we headed down to the floor to start our journey.
Unfortunately for me, I landed the wrong way when I jumped down, and I was surprised I was still able to keep my balance.
Riiight. Well, we hardly made it halfway across the room before I lost my balance. When I lost it, I...lost it. I stumbled, and would have fallen if it wouldn't have been for a box. I grabbed onto it with one arm, and Rapunzel gasped.
"A-are you okay? Oh my goodness, what happened?! Are you okay?" she helped me back upright, and gave me a concerned gaze. When I didn't say anything--I was trying to catch my breath, but the pain was just intense enough that I couldn't. "Do you need me to get Tangled Fan?"
I held up a hand, waving off her concern. "N-no...I'm fine." I panted. "I-I should've told you before, but I didn't...want you to worry...I'm sorry. At the beginning of the year, I had an accident and ended up really messing up my hip joints. I usually am fine, but lately, I've been having a hard time sleeping, and when I can't sleep, I usually pace. Walking too much gets this problem fired up, and...."
She gasped again, giving me a look of sheer horror. "Sit down, right now." I started to shake my head, but she gave me that classic and incredibly sour, "do it or I'll MAKE you" look before repeating her request. I sat down, and she sat as well, biting her lip.
"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. You're so pale....what do you want me to do?"
"Nothing...and it's not your fault. Just...gimme a few minutes. If you want to go get Tangled Fan to set up the movie, you can-"
"Excuse me, but I am not leaving you here alone!"
Alrighty then...
"Well, all I'll be doing is sitting here until I feel up to moving,"
"And I'll stay with you as long as it takes. You've been here for me, so now I'm here for you!"
Ah. That was her logic. Okay.
"Well...thank you."
She scooted a bit closer. "How long have your joints been hurting? I know it's because of us going for day-long walks, so don't skirt around it."
"It's not...it's not because of that. And, oh I don't know. A few days...maybe a week?"
She pressed her hand over her mouth. "Ohh..."
"Like I said, don't get upset. I'm sorry, I was really looking forward to watching the movie with you,"
She slid right over beside me, and shook her head. "That's fine! We'll...shoot for tomorrow, maybe? Or the day after. Sometime, I promise! And stop apologizing. That's at least the second time."
I chuckled. "I could say the same to you, you know."
Rolling her eyes, she didn't hide her smile. "At least you must be feeling a tad better, your face isn't as pale...?"
"Yeah....like I said, you could go...I'll be fine."
Instead of saying anything, she silently gave me a smile and left.
Thinking I was alone for the rest of the day after she had left, I eased myself down onto my back. It took some of my weight off my joints, at least, and that helped some. I was kind of melancholy that she had left, but it was far better than her sitting here, watching me be a big baby.
But wait....she wasn't gone!
After awhile, I heard a couple of grumbles, a grunt, and a yelp...so I propped myself up to see...
None other than Rapunzel, trotting back with Tangled Fan's headphones and MP3 player. The cord, which was way too long, trailed behind her and tangled up around her ankles. She tripped, almost fell down...and noticed I was struggling to sit up. I was planning to help her, even if I had to crawl!
"Noo, no-no-no! Stay right there!" she exclaimed...before she dropped the headphones and kicked them my way. They stopped right by my head -- I was getting ready for them to crash into me, but they didn't--and she gave an adorable, triumphant giggle.
I watched quietly as she set the MP3 up, cranked it up to nearly full-blast, and then set it to play.
"There!" she turned to me, her smile waning slightly. "How are you?"
"I'm fine...thanks,"
"I thought we could listen to music. I remember you said you liked to listen to music, soo..."she shrugged and looked over at me before she flopped down onto her back, putting her hands behind her head.
"Thank you...really. It means a lot," I told her.
"So...what songs do you recommend?" she asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence.
As a good song would come on, I would tell her. Most of the songs I pointed out were ones I liked because they reminded me of her, but I didn't point that out.
We stayed like that for hours. I was pretty stiff, unfortunately, by the time I decided that she wasn't going to leave until I was back on the table. As soon as I stood up, I realized just how stiff I was. I stumbled a step and hoped she hadn't seen...but of course, she had.
"Wait a sec, bud," she told me as she shoved the MP3 and headphones out from the middle of the floor.
"I'm fine," I told her repeatedly - and every time, she would say huh-uh or just shake her head, and then that stubborn girl tucked herself under my arm and slid her arms around me.
"You might say you're fine, but you obviously are not. C'mon-"
"I'm fine by myself," I reassured her. "I don't want to stumble and hurt you, or something."
"You won't," she tightened her grip around me, so I put an arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. I figured that she would think that I was just holding onto her for balance, when I was really giving her a one-armed hug...and keeping my balance.
When we got up to the table, she asked where I wanted to go. I told her I'd be fine on the wicker chair, and so she led me over there. I eased myself down onto the chair, and she bit her lip, giving me a concerned look.
"I'm fine, don't worr-"
"I'm not worrying," said the obviously non-worried girl...as she toyed with her hair. Trademark worried Rapunzel move.
"The way you're biting your lip, playing with your hair, and the way your brows are furrowed all tell me you're worried," I pointed out.
She allowed her hands to pounce up on her hips, as she gave me a mock-insulted expression. "Fine, Sherlock. I'm worried."
"C'mere," I patted the box beside me, and she quickly obliged. When she sat down, I risked putting my hands on her shoulders. Oh, wow...I twisted the wrong way to do that, and pain zinged across my hips and up my back. I tried not to grimace, though. "I've done this more than once, I'll be okay. It's really no big problem. If I need Tangled Fan, I'll get her. I don't want you worried, okay?"
"It's....it's not that, entirely. Well, it is, but..oh, never mind!" she muttered, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Then what? Tell--"
"I need to let you get some rest. You will rest up, right? I'll be back later to help you get to your bed,"
"I won't need help--"
"Well, you'll get some, anyway, then. I'll see you later."
Just like that, her mood changed. Her face became unreadable, and I could tell she was guarding something. She quickly fled my side of the table, and I couldn't help but wonder what I'd done.
I'd probably messed up somehow...maybe putting my hands on her shoulders had upset her? Was it when I had put an arm around her when she was helping me back to the table? Did she think I was faking this, just to get her sympathy or something? What had I done? I wanted to just ask her when she came over later --if she did-- but I didn't want to pry.
By eleven PM, I was feeling just a tiny bit better, but my concerns about Rapunzel hadn't ceased. But regardless, I stumbled back to bed and started to smooth the blanket out, leaning up against the bed to do so. That's when I heard Rapunzel calling quietly.
"I'm over here...getting my bed ready," I called, and she rushed to join me behind the cutout.
"How'd you get back here?"
"I walked, silly," I teased her in an attempt to get her to lighten up, since her eyes were filled with concern. When her expression turned darker and her eyes actually filled with tears, I softened. "Hey...I'm sorry. I was just trying to get you to laugh-" I fell short of saying 'hon'. Woops.
She shook her head. "I'm just...I have a lot on my mind and I'm touchy right now. It's fine. Anyway, ah...since you're okay back here, d'ya want me to leave? Sorry, I came a bit too late. I should've--"
"You're just fine. And actually, I'd like it if you stuck around and told me what's wrong," I gingerly sat down on the bed and patted the spot near me.
She started to refuse, but then I gave her an overly-dramatic puppy-dog pout. "Oh, geez, Eugene. If you really...fine. I suppose it'll help to talk,"
"Mmhm!" I gave her an encouraging grin - at least, I hoped so - and she sighed and sat beside me.
"This is so stupid, and I feel bad to keep you up talking, but...I just feel really terrible. If you've been having problems with your joints for 'a few days or a week', it's my fault, because we've been going for such long walks. And I feel horrible because I've been complaining so much to you about Flynn and just everything, and you...you have actual problems, and you never even t-told me!"
Oh, geez. She always had blamed herself...Shoulda known.
"Rapunzel, it is not your fault. It's not the long walks that get to me, it's that combined with, mostly, lack of sleep and pacing when I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure that your problems are actual, legit problems, too, by the way. I didn't tell you, because I don't like to tell anyone about my joint issue. Silly, I know," we both sighed at the same time, and she ducked her head.
"I just...I'm sorry. I should have noticed something was off--"
"Nothing was off for you to notice," I told her, and her eyebrows furrowed.
"You're sure?" she asked.
"I am positive, dear girl--er, um...rather--sorry." I let that one slip out without even thinking. Way to blow it...I was about to just head-slap myself when she giggled, her face burning red.
"It's fine," she blushed an intriguing color of crimson Her neck was red! "Um...so...I-I should let you get some rest. I'll be over in the morning...?"
"Yep...if I'm still asleep, just come and yell in my face, wake me up," I joked, and I finally got that laugh out of her. Thank goodness!
"Okay. Movie tomorrow, maybe? If you're feeling up to it," she got shy at the end of the sentence, ducking her head so her hair covered most of her face like a thick, yellow curtain.
"Sounds great," I told her, resisting the urge to brush the hair out of her face.
Then, she randomly grabbed me into a tight hug. I choked in surprise, but I hugged her back, of course. When she finally pulled away, she didn't look happier -- in fact, she looked even more troubled. That was really concerning...
We exchanged 'good night's, and then she left. And as for me? Well...I gingerly let myself down onto my back, and hoped I would go to sleep before I started worrying.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Dancing and a slip up
Today, sometime in the afternoon, I heard loud music coming from Tangled Fan's MP3. It seemed like it was coming from the other side of the table, which was odd....I thought that I had seen everyone going on a walk. Hmm...I peeked over on the other side, and saw Rapunzel was the only one there. She was...dancing....by herself. She held her arms in a certain position as she glided around her entire side of the table, and it appeared as if she was trying to dance with an imaginary partner.
I couldn't help myself.
I ducked over to the other side of the table and watched her for a moment, gathering up courage to speak up. I wasn't sure how she'd respond...
Finally, though, I went and tapped her on the shoulder. She had not even noticed me up until that point. When she whirled around, face blazing and mouth agape, I stepped back and bowed. When I straightened, I gave her a grin and looked her in the eye. "May I, um...may I have this dance?" I had been so confident...and as soon as our eyes met, I totally lost my cool. Don't be creepy, don't be creepy...you've done this before..okay not the way you just did, but you've asked to dance before...she isn't answering, why isn't she answering...great, I've gone and freaked her out and now she'll--
"OH! Um...hi. And....I mean....uh...okay," she stammered, but I could see that pretty, shy grin spreading across her face--even though she kept her chin tilted towards her chest. She glanced up long enough to shove her hair nervously from her face, and then I cautiously slid her into my arms. I wasn't sure how close she wanted to be, or where I should put my arms or hands or--I wasn't sure how to do anything, really...and I'm pretty sure she felt the same way. But after a song or so in complete, awkward silence, she laughed.
"This is so awkward. You know, I won't mind if you--oh, geez. Here." She re-situated herself so that I had to pull her a bit closer--which somehow made things slightly more comfortable and less awkward and stumble-y. She met my eyes and bit her lip. "I didn't disturb you earlier, did I? With the loud music?"
"No, you were fine. I was just curious as to what you were doing, and when I saw you dancing, I thought maybe I could be a better partner than the air." I tried to maintain a straight face as I guided her around the table.
She laughed again. "Yeah...you're actually a really good dancer!"
"I had a good teacher," I couldn't help but smile as the bittersweet memories flooded my mind. How awkward I must've been on our wedding day, when she first taught me to dance..!
"What? You have this wistful sort of smile on your face," she slowed as she made this observation, and I, still dancing but absentmindedly at best, didn't...and it ended that we both tripped.
"Sorry--sorry! Um...nothing," I cleared my throat awkwardly and apologized.
"It's fine," she told me with a grin. "You know...I've never danced with anyone before. Flynn taught me, but he never danced WITH me. Always coaching from the sidelines...anyway, so this is the first time I've danced with someone. But I don't know...it just..it just feels so natural, like...I don't know. I guess it just feels like I've done it before,"
That's because you HAVE danced with me before, beautiful.
"Hm," I grinned. "Well...I'm honored to have been your first dance partner...aside from Mr. Air."
She giggled, burying her face in my shoulder for a second. "Yeah...well, I think you make a much better dance partner than Mr. Air."
"You...think?" I asked teasingly, and she rolled her eyes.
"You're terrible..." she pretended to be disgusted, but I saw the lovely little smile she was trying to hide.
...And that was approximately when the MP3 player died on us.
As the music shut off abruptly, our dance only slowed. She didn't seem to want to stop, so I didn't. Eventually, she sighed. "I suppose...it's kinda silly, dancing without music."
I shrugged, regretful to let her go. Annnd that's when she looked up at me, smiled, and hugged me, burying her face into my shoulder. I pulled her closer, and we stayed there until she pulled away from me, a couple of minutes later.
"Thanks," she grinned.
"What?"
"For coming over and dancing with me, silly!"
"Oh! Well, you're certainly welcome, beautiful."
I didn't just say that...did I?
Great. I did. Ohhh great. Way to blow it, idiot. She gave me a wide-eyed, baffled stare...without saying a word.
"Sorry, it just...it just, ah...slipped out. It's not like I didn't mean it--no, no...I mean it, you ARE beautiful, but..I didn't mean to...say...it." I huffed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Rapunzel slowly backed away, still staring at me wordlessly. Her face quickly developed some sort of odd expression, like she was concentrating so incredibly hard on something.
"I-I guess I should go...I'm sorry," I took a step backwards, wishing she'd say something. When she didn't, I tucked my proverbial tail between my legs, and rushed for my side of the table.
Late that night, after everyone had come back to the other side of the shelf, and it sounded like they had all gone to sleep, I was still awake. I was figuring on a sleepless night, wondering if I'd really screwed up our relationship, when I heard a gentle, but definite, knock at the divider, followed by a quiet "Eugene?"
I sucked in a breath before I rushed to the divider. I'd never even considered communicating through the divider! "That you, Rapunzel? Look, I'm sorry...I really messed --"
"No, you didn't mess up, and don't apologize. I'm sorry, I was the one who messed up. It just really caught me off guard, and I didn't know what to say. It seems almost like you've told me that before, and I don't know why...maybe it's just your actions and how you treat me...but..it just kinda threw me off, and I didn't really know what to say. Therefore...thank you. I actually needed to hear that today," she said quietly.
"You don't have to apologize, either. And why did you need it?" I asked.
"Punzie, earlier today. That's why I didn't go for a walk with everyone else, and that's why I was dancing...I was trying to take my mind off of...things," she sighed, and I heard what must've been her head thunk up against the divider. I finally sat beside the divider in my own corner, and sighed as well.
"Sorry,"
"I should be used to it by now," she threw back.
"I don't think anyone EVER gets used to that. Whenever you're sick of it, just come over. I promise I don't mind."
She was quiet, but I could still hear her beside the divider. Soo, I just sat there and waited for a response that I never got.
I couldn't help myself.
I ducked over to the other side of the table and watched her for a moment, gathering up courage to speak up. I wasn't sure how she'd respond...
Finally, though, I went and tapped her on the shoulder. She had not even noticed me up until that point. When she whirled around, face blazing and mouth agape, I stepped back and bowed. When I straightened, I gave her a grin and looked her in the eye. "May I, um...may I have this dance?" I had been so confident...and as soon as our eyes met, I totally lost my cool. Don't be creepy, don't be creepy...you've done this before..okay not the way you just did, but you've asked to dance before...she isn't answering, why isn't she answering...great, I've gone and freaked her out and now she'll--
"OH! Um...hi. And....I mean....uh...okay," she stammered, but I could see that pretty, shy grin spreading across her face--even though she kept her chin tilted towards her chest. She glanced up long enough to shove her hair nervously from her face, and then I cautiously slid her into my arms. I wasn't sure how close she wanted to be, or where I should put my arms or hands or--I wasn't sure how to do anything, really...and I'm pretty sure she felt the same way. But after a song or so in complete, awkward silence, she laughed.
"This is so awkward. You know, I won't mind if you--oh, geez. Here." She re-situated herself so that I had to pull her a bit closer--which somehow made things slightly more comfortable and less awkward and stumble-y. She met my eyes and bit her lip. "I didn't disturb you earlier, did I? With the loud music?"
"No, you were fine. I was just curious as to what you were doing, and when I saw you dancing, I thought maybe I could be a better partner than the air." I tried to maintain a straight face as I guided her around the table.
She laughed again. "Yeah...you're actually a really good dancer!"
"I had a good teacher," I couldn't help but smile as the bittersweet memories flooded my mind. How awkward I must've been on our wedding day, when she first taught me to dance..!
"What? You have this wistful sort of smile on your face," she slowed as she made this observation, and I, still dancing but absentmindedly at best, didn't...and it ended that we both tripped.
"Sorry--sorry! Um...nothing," I cleared my throat awkwardly and apologized.
"It's fine," she told me with a grin. "You know...I've never danced with anyone before. Flynn taught me, but he never danced WITH me. Always coaching from the sidelines...anyway, so this is the first time I've danced with someone. But I don't know...it just..it just feels so natural, like...I don't know. I guess it just feels like I've done it before,"
That's because you HAVE danced with me before, beautiful.
"Hm," I grinned. "Well...I'm honored to have been your first dance partner...aside from Mr. Air."
She giggled, burying her face in my shoulder for a second. "Yeah...well, I think you make a much better dance partner than Mr. Air."
"You...think?" I asked teasingly, and she rolled her eyes.
"You're terrible..." she pretended to be disgusted, but I saw the lovely little smile she was trying to hide.
...And that was approximately when the MP3 player died on us.
As the music shut off abruptly, our dance only slowed. She didn't seem to want to stop, so I didn't. Eventually, she sighed. "I suppose...it's kinda silly, dancing without music."
I shrugged, regretful to let her go. Annnd that's when she looked up at me, smiled, and hugged me, burying her face into my shoulder. I pulled her closer, and we stayed there until she pulled away from me, a couple of minutes later.
"Thanks," she grinned.
"What?"
"For coming over and dancing with me, silly!"
"Oh! Well, you're certainly welcome, beautiful."
I didn't just say that...did I?
Great. I did. Ohhh great. Way to blow it, idiot. She gave me a wide-eyed, baffled stare...without saying a word.
"Sorry, it just...it just, ah...slipped out. It's not like I didn't mean it--no, no...I mean it, you ARE beautiful, but..I didn't mean to...say...it." I huffed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Rapunzel slowly backed away, still staring at me wordlessly. Her face quickly developed some sort of odd expression, like she was concentrating so incredibly hard on something.
"I-I guess I should go...I'm sorry," I took a step backwards, wishing she'd say something. When she didn't, I tucked my proverbial tail between my legs, and rushed for my side of the table.
Late that night, after everyone had come back to the other side of the shelf, and it sounded like they had all gone to sleep, I was still awake. I was figuring on a sleepless night, wondering if I'd really screwed up our relationship, when I heard a gentle, but definite, knock at the divider, followed by a quiet "Eugene?"
I sucked in a breath before I rushed to the divider. I'd never even considered communicating through the divider! "That you, Rapunzel? Look, I'm sorry...I really messed --"
"No, you didn't mess up, and don't apologize. I'm sorry, I was the one who messed up. It just really caught me off guard, and I didn't know what to say. It seems almost like you've told me that before, and I don't know why...maybe it's just your actions and how you treat me...but..it just kinda threw me off, and I didn't really know what to say. Therefore...thank you. I actually needed to hear that today," she said quietly.
"You don't have to apologize, either. And why did you need it?" I asked.
"Punzie, earlier today. That's why I didn't go for a walk with everyone else, and that's why I was dancing...I was trying to take my mind off of...things," she sighed, and I heard what must've been her head thunk up against the divider. I finally sat beside the divider in my own corner, and sighed as well.
"Sorry,"
"I should be used to it by now," she threw back.
"I don't think anyone EVER gets used to that. Whenever you're sick of it, just come over. I promise I don't mind."
She was quiet, but I could still hear her beside the divider. Soo, I just sat there and waited for a response that I never got.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Quick update: the girls, Anna, and Rapunzel
It's been two weeks today since Rapunzel's fall, but it feels like it's been an eternity. It seems like the more Rapunzel and I are together, the more she thinks about Flynn, and that means that she gets upset quickly. I hate to think that she went through this twice, and the first time completely alone. I talked with Zelia, and she said that she's been trying to do better with handling her sister's emotional state.
Zelia and I both went to see the girls yesterday, and they're doing well. They were more than ecstatic about seeing their aunt, and I was more than ecstatic about seeing them! Casey's got this idea that the whole situation is 'quite tragically romantic'...they also told me that Tangled Fan's either taken pity on them or taken a shining to them, and has been giving them the royal treatment, even reading to them on occasion. That's probably how Casey's developed such a vocabulary! Audrey, however, is less than amused with the 'tragically romantic' situation, and a fight almost broke out between the two of them when Casey stated it. She was also a bit mad because I wasn't able to take them home yet, but she soon dropped her attitude when Zelia asked them to play a game with her. Jordan's pretty indifferent on the matter, but she was all smiles and sweet little giggles the whole time we were there.
In other news...
I also had another talk with Anna.
Rapunzel said that Anna had gone from avoiding her to being almost as mean as Punzie, despite Elsa's warnings to leave Rapunzel be. Soo I got Zelia to bring her below the table so we could talk --- the three of us.
She explained, after a while, that she felt horrible for what she had done, and therefore was tired of being around Rapunzel all the time; a constant reminder of her stupid mistake.
I almost spouted off at her, but I calmly answered, "Well, it's kind of what you get. You weren't even very close with her anymore -- try being her sister or her husband. It's worse, trust me. Not to mention what the kids have to go through."
Zelia handled the insulting. "Yeah, try actually caring about her! Funny how spitefulness has consequences, huh? You don't know the half of it!"
"But can't you take her and keep her over at your shelf? You and Zelia and her..."
"No. She wouldn't handle that well, do you think? Plus, we want to keep things as similar as her past, in case something triggers a memory."
"I don't know how she handles change," Zelia shrugged, but then her eyes hardened as she stared at Anna.
"Just try to be less....like..." I struggled to find the right word.
"Less moronic? Less self-obsessed? Ooh, how 'bout less like yourself?" Zelia never lost eye contact.
"Zelia!" I gasped. Sure, Anna was being a tad...I don't know...but she didn't need to say all that! "See, this is why people walk all over you, Eugene. D'you see anyone crossing me?"
Touche.
Anna gulped, and I saw her slowly lose the put-upon expression that had been on her face.
"You're right. I'll try to be a little less noticeable in my attempts to say away."
Being her friend would be what we were looking for, like you were before...not avoiding her...but whatever. Some people just can't be convinced. Zelia was about to let her have it again, but I convinced her to drop it.
So that's what's been going on -- Rapunzel and I have been going for walks every day, and we read some of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian over Sunday and Monday, so that's what we'll be doing again tomorrow. I'm also hoping to see the girls more often, but that's kind of up to Tangled Fan's schedule at this rate. And if anyone wonders how Pascal's been : he's doing great, of course...Rapunzel gave me the spiel about him being a good judge in character yesterday, so that's...promising...right...?
Zelia and I both went to see the girls yesterday, and they're doing well. They were more than ecstatic about seeing their aunt, and I was more than ecstatic about seeing them! Casey's got this idea that the whole situation is 'quite tragically romantic'...they also told me that Tangled Fan's either taken pity on them or taken a shining to them, and has been giving them the royal treatment, even reading to them on occasion. That's probably how Casey's developed such a vocabulary! Audrey, however, is less than amused with the 'tragically romantic' situation, and a fight almost broke out between the two of them when Casey stated it. She was also a bit mad because I wasn't able to take them home yet, but she soon dropped her attitude when Zelia asked them to play a game with her. Jordan's pretty indifferent on the matter, but she was all smiles and sweet little giggles the whole time we were there.
In other news...
I also had another talk with Anna.
Rapunzel said that Anna had gone from avoiding her to being almost as mean as Punzie, despite Elsa's warnings to leave Rapunzel be. Soo I got Zelia to bring her below the table so we could talk --- the three of us.
She explained, after a while, that she felt horrible for what she had done, and therefore was tired of being around Rapunzel all the time; a constant reminder of her stupid mistake.
I almost spouted off at her, but I calmly answered, "Well, it's kind of what you get. You weren't even very close with her anymore -- try being her sister or her husband. It's worse, trust me. Not to mention what the kids have to go through."
Zelia handled the insulting. "Yeah, try actually caring about her! Funny how spitefulness has consequences, huh? You don't know the half of it!"
"But can't you take her and keep her over at your shelf? You and Zelia and her..."
"No. She wouldn't handle that well, do you think? Plus, we want to keep things as similar as her past, in case something triggers a memory."
"I don't know how she handles change," Zelia shrugged, but then her eyes hardened as she stared at Anna.
"Just try to be less....like..." I struggled to find the right word.
"Less moronic? Less self-obsessed? Ooh, how 'bout less like yourself?" Zelia never lost eye contact.
"Zelia!" I gasped. Sure, Anna was being a tad...I don't know...but she didn't need to say all that! "See, this is why people walk all over you, Eugene. D'you see anyone crossing me?"
Touche.
Anna gulped, and I saw her slowly lose the put-upon expression that had been on her face.
"You're right. I'll try to be a little less noticeable in my attempts to say away."
Being her friend would be what we were looking for, like you were before...not avoiding her...but whatever. Some people just can't be convinced. Zelia was about to let her have it again, but I convinced her to drop it.
So that's what's been going on -- Rapunzel and I have been going for walks every day, and we read some of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian over Sunday and Monday, so that's what we'll be doing again tomorrow. I'm also hoping to see the girls more often, but that's kind of up to Tangled Fan's schedule at this rate. And if anyone wonders how Pascal's been : he's doing great, of course...Rapunzel gave me the spiel about him being a good judge in character yesterday, so that's...promising...right...?
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Today's events....
Today, we went for a walk, as previously stated in the post from yesterday.
Promptly at 10AM this morning, Rapunzel nervously peeked around the divider. I was headed in the same direction, and we almost collided. She jumped away, but a second later, she came over to my side of the table, giggling.
"That was close...sorry!" she laughed, putting a hand over her mouth.
I grinned and allowed my eyes to flick over her. "That's fine," I stopped short of telling her that she looked beautiful today. When I looked her directly in the eyes, though, I realized she looked extremely tired. "What's wrong? You look like you didn't get much sleep."
She sighed. "Nothing. Just...thinking about unimportant things that I really shouldn't lose sleep over."
AKA: Flynn.
"If you're not feeling up to--" I started, but she broke me off.
"No, I'm up to it! I'm actually kind of excited," she said, blushing.
"Well, you don't have to get all red-faced about being excited...I am, too." I chuckled, and she gave me a wide smile before we left the table.
We walked in silence for awhile, but then I spoke up. "So..ah...how've you been settling in?"
"I guess I've been settling in okay. Sometimes, I really don't fit in over there, but oh well. I'm sure that will come in time...Punzie's just such a jerk! Anna's kind of...I dunno. I don't know why, but she avoids me like nobody's business. But then again, she has Hans, so maybe that's all the friendship or socialization she needs. Elsa's pretty nice, though. And of course, there's always Zelia, but she avoids me when I need someone to talk to the most. Emma and Piper just kind of stay away from me, too...they're kind of buddies with Punzie, so I could see why. And Kristoff seems really, really shy, so he just keeps to himself or talks to Elsa. Um...well..I guess I kinda started a rant there..sorry!"
"No, that's fine! Sorry you've been kinda a fish out of water. I should've come over more," I basically felt terrible. I should've just gone over and sat with her, if all else failed.
"I'm gonna be a copycat. No, that's fine. You didn't know," she gave me a small smile, "and thanks for listening. It actually felt pretty good to tell someone."
I nodded. "I'm happy to listen. So....I was wondering what some of your dreams are? If you're not comfortable talking about that, that's fine."
"I'd...prefer not to...for now." she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears.
"Okay, that's fine. I understand--I suppose I shouldn't have asked you, this is just the fourth or fifth time you've talked with me, really. Sorry, that was kinda...off the wall of me." I felt pretty stupid for asking that...sure, we'd talked about that same thing just a coupla weeks after we had first met, and yes, I had told her I loved her as well...but it was different this time, on so many different levels. Gosh, I'm such an idiot.
She gave me a thankful smile, and we walked in silence for a little bit. She looked like she was thinking about something, and I wanted to ask what, but I was half afraid of screwing up again. Good grief, I had dated her once and had done okay enough, why was I some odd, creeper-like, weirdo this time??
But then she stopped, right in the middle of the walk. She turned, looked me right in the eye, and said: "You know what? No. I'm fine with telling you. You're not like Flynn, you won't laugh, will you? And you seem honest in your intentions...I'm just scared of letting people in...after Flynn. You know what I mean?"
I nodded. "I promise I won't laugh, I'd never laugh. And it's totally understandable, I mean...really, it is."
She nodded and sucked in a deep breath, holding it until she let it all out in a laugh. "You know, they're just so silly that I don't even know why I call them dreams...hopes...goals...whatever."
"I'm sure they're not," I already know what they are...they weren't stupid and we had such a great time together, crossing off your dreams/goals...gosh, why can't things be back the way they were before? "Well...I want to go stargazing...get married...start a family...you know--the usual. And it's kind of a goal of mine not to be kissed until someone asks for my hand in marriage. It's stupid, I know, but I want to be sure that my first kiss is with the guy I'm spending the rest of my plastic life with. So...that's basically it. Weird, right?"
I gave her a smile. "No...not at all! And the kiss makes sense, actually."
She sucked in another deep breath, giving me a curious look. "What about you?"
"Hm?"
"Your dreams? Plans? I-if you don't mind me asking."
I panicked.
She'd never asked me this before. I was the most dull being on the planet, all I wanted was to have her back and to have the girls back.
How do I say this, how do I say this...don't freak out--oh well, too late for that...should I tell her? No. Not yet. She's still not over Flynn, and this isn't the best time to tell her. What do I do.....!!! "You think YOUR dreams are boring? Mine are literally just to marry and have a family."
She laughed shyly. "I think that's everyone's default, soo...that's cool. You're more likely to achieve your dreams, anyway!"
"Oh, really?" I asked.
"Yeah! There are four -- well...I don't suppose you'd marry Punzie, seeing as she kind of banned you from staying in the same display area as they are....so three, I suppose-- eligible girls. I'm sure any of them would be just beyond lucky to have you!"
"Three? It seems to me that there are five, if you count Punzie," I watched her face. This conversation was teetering dangerously close to becoming a disaster.
"Huh?" she gave me an absent stare, and I could tell she was trying to think of who she was missing. When she realized it was herself, she just whispered, "Ohh." Her gaze dropped to her bare feet.
Great. She's going to freak out, because now she knows where my affections are...just great. I just blew it--
"I'm sorry," I blurted in a desperate attempt to keep her from leaving. I didn't even know if she would run off and leave, but I didn't want her to. "I'm sorry! I--"
"No, it's fine. That just never occurred to me before," she laughed, but I could see the panic in her eyes.
Say something...say something funny...get her mind off of it....don't blow it...DON'T BLOW IT!!"So, ah...maybe we should change the subject?"
She gave a genuine giggle. "Yeeahh...let's!"
So we talked about music. Talked about books. Talked about anything...talked about Flynn once or twice. We were on the floor for hours, until it started to fall dark, and then we went back up on the table.
She started to go back to her side of the table wordlessly, but then she poked her head around the divider. "Eugene? Thanks. I really needed this today, and I had fun, despite the awkward start."
YES!
"No, thank YOU for today. It was so fun! And yeahh...sorry about that."
My girl --well...you know..--gave me a cute grin. "It's all good. I'll see you sometime!"
"Yup. Good night -- and get some sleep. Knock on the divider if you can't...If I hear you, I'll sit up with you."
"Okay. Night," she ducked back over to her side of the shelf.
When she was gone, I sighed. I was tired, but I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep, and it was only around eight. Ugh.
Promptly at 10AM this morning, Rapunzel nervously peeked around the divider. I was headed in the same direction, and we almost collided. She jumped away, but a second later, she came over to my side of the table, giggling.
"That was close...sorry!" she laughed, putting a hand over her mouth.
I grinned and allowed my eyes to flick over her. "That's fine," I stopped short of telling her that she looked beautiful today. When I looked her directly in the eyes, though, I realized she looked extremely tired. "What's wrong? You look like you didn't get much sleep."
She sighed. "Nothing. Just...thinking about unimportant things that I really shouldn't lose sleep over."
AKA: Flynn.
"If you're not feeling up to--" I started, but she broke me off.
"No, I'm up to it! I'm actually kind of excited," she said, blushing.
"Well, you don't have to get all red-faced about being excited...I am, too." I chuckled, and she gave me a wide smile before we left the table.
We walked in silence for awhile, but then I spoke up. "So..ah...how've you been settling in?"
"I guess I've been settling in okay. Sometimes, I really don't fit in over there, but oh well. I'm sure that will come in time...Punzie's just such a jerk! Anna's kind of...I dunno. I don't know why, but she avoids me like nobody's business. But then again, she has Hans, so maybe that's all the friendship or socialization she needs. Elsa's pretty nice, though. And of course, there's always Zelia, but she avoids me when I need someone to talk to the most. Emma and Piper just kind of stay away from me, too...they're kind of buddies with Punzie, so I could see why. And Kristoff seems really, really shy, so he just keeps to himself or talks to Elsa. Um...well..I guess I kinda started a rant there..sorry!"
"No, that's fine! Sorry you've been kinda a fish out of water. I should've come over more," I basically felt terrible. I should've just gone over and sat with her, if all else failed.
"I'm gonna be a copycat. No, that's fine. You didn't know," she gave me a small smile, "and thanks for listening. It actually felt pretty good to tell someone."
I nodded. "I'm happy to listen. So....I was wondering what some of your dreams are? If you're not comfortable talking about that, that's fine."
"I'd...prefer not to...for now." she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears.
"Okay, that's fine. I understand--I suppose I shouldn't have asked you, this is just the fourth or fifth time you've talked with me, really. Sorry, that was kinda...off the wall of me." I felt pretty stupid for asking that...sure, we'd talked about that same thing just a coupla weeks after we had first met, and yes, I had told her I loved her as well...but it was different this time, on so many different levels. Gosh, I'm such an idiot.
She gave me a thankful smile, and we walked in silence for a little bit. She looked like she was thinking about something, and I wanted to ask what, but I was half afraid of screwing up again. Good grief, I had dated her once and had done okay enough, why was I some odd, creeper-like, weirdo this time??
But then she stopped, right in the middle of the walk. She turned, looked me right in the eye, and said: "You know what? No. I'm fine with telling you. You're not like Flynn, you won't laugh, will you? And you seem honest in your intentions...I'm just scared of letting people in...after Flynn. You know what I mean?"
I nodded. "I promise I won't laugh, I'd never laugh. And it's totally understandable, I mean...really, it is."
She nodded and sucked in a deep breath, holding it until she let it all out in a laugh. "You know, they're just so silly that I don't even know why I call them dreams...hopes...goals...whatever."
"I'm sure they're not," I already know what they are...they weren't stupid and we had such a great time together, crossing off your dreams/goals...gosh, why can't things be back the way they were before? "Well...I want to go stargazing...get married...start a family...you know--the usual. And it's kind of a goal of mine not to be kissed until someone asks for my hand in marriage. It's stupid, I know, but I want to be sure that my first kiss is with the guy I'm spending the rest of my plastic life with. So...that's basically it. Weird, right?"
I gave her a smile. "No...not at all! And the kiss makes sense, actually."
She sucked in another deep breath, giving me a curious look. "What about you?"
"Hm?"
"Your dreams? Plans? I-if you don't mind me asking."
I panicked.
She'd never asked me this before. I was the most dull being on the planet, all I wanted was to have her back and to have the girls back.
How do I say this, how do I say this...don't freak out--oh well, too late for that...should I tell her? No. Not yet. She's still not over Flynn, and this isn't the best time to tell her. What do I do.....!!! "You think YOUR dreams are boring? Mine are literally just to marry and have a family."
She laughed shyly. "I think that's everyone's default, soo...that's cool. You're more likely to achieve your dreams, anyway!"
"Oh, really?" I asked.
"Yeah! There are four -- well...I don't suppose you'd marry Punzie, seeing as she kind of banned you from staying in the same display area as they are....so three, I suppose-- eligible girls. I'm sure any of them would be just beyond lucky to have you!"
"Three? It seems to me that there are five, if you count Punzie," I watched her face. This conversation was teetering dangerously close to becoming a disaster.
"Huh?" she gave me an absent stare, and I could tell she was trying to think of who she was missing. When she realized it was herself, she just whispered, "Ohh." Her gaze dropped to her bare feet.
Great. She's going to freak out, because now she knows where my affections are...just great. I just blew it--
"I'm sorry," I blurted in a desperate attempt to keep her from leaving. I didn't even know if she would run off and leave, but I didn't want her to. "I'm sorry! I--"
"No, it's fine. That just never occurred to me before," she laughed, but I could see the panic in her eyes.
Say something...say something funny...get her mind off of it....don't blow it...DON'T BLOW IT!!"So, ah...maybe we should change the subject?"
She gave a genuine giggle. "Yeeahh...let's!"
So we talked about music. Talked about books. Talked about anything...talked about Flynn once or twice. We were on the floor for hours, until it started to fall dark, and then we went back up on the table.
She started to go back to her side of the table wordlessly, but then she poked her head around the divider. "Eugene? Thanks. I really needed this today, and I had fun, despite the awkward start."
YES!
"No, thank YOU for today. It was so fun! And yeahh...sorry about that."
My girl --well...you know..--gave me a cute grin. "It's all good. I'll see you sometime!"
"Yup. Good night -- and get some sleep. Knock on the divider if you can't...If I hear you, I'll sit up with you."
"Okay. Night," she ducked back over to her side of the shelf.
When she was gone, I sighed. I was tired, but I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep, and it was only around eight. Ugh.
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