Something to be Thankful For =}

These few days since Thanksgiving have dragged.  I still can't sleep.  I just keep beating myself up over my stupidity. 

This afternoon around five, though, I decided to venture past Eugene's shelf to get the iPod.  I wanted to blog, but I was also hoping Eugene was there, so I could see him....but he wasn't, and neither was Pascal.

I retrieved the iPod and went back to my shelf. 
Anna noticed me and grinned.  "Blogging?" 
"Yeah," I answered. 
"You must be feeling better about things, then?"  Kristoff asked.
I sighed.  "I wouldn't say that, but...I just feel like I need to write."
"That's good, though!" Anna grinned.  "Mind if I watch?" 
"If you wish..." I said, turning the iPod on.  I hated having people read over my shoulder, but if Anna wanted to, I suppose she could. 
"Aww, you're gonna complain to all your cyber-space friends about your stupid mistake?"  Punzie asked in a most annoying, high-pitched tone. 
"Shut up."  I said it almost without thinking.  I hope it's the last time that sentence ever comes from my mouth.  She gave me a wide-eyed stare, but she obliged.  

Anna was the first to notice the background had been changed on the iPod. 
"It looks like some writing - I wanna read it!"  She exclaimed, swiping until she found a page mostly clear of apps. 
'Rapunzel -- listen to the first song that comes up on the playlist on here, and then come see me, please.  I heard this song the other day and I wanted to show it to you so bad, but didn't know how, except this way.  I need to see you and talk to you.   I know things probably won't be the same, but I can't do this anymore.  And I am so, so, so sorry for Thanksgiving night.  I blew it, I'm a pathetic fool.  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  If you don't want to even see me, because of that, I understand completely.  [And...  I still love you.]'
"Eugene..." I trailed off, going to find the song.  
It was 'If I Didn't Have You' by Thompson Square. 
By the end of the first chorus, tears were dripping off of my nose. 

When the song was over, I turned to Anna.  "I'm such an idiot!"
"Yeah, you are," Zelia laughed. 
"Zelia, hush it!  Rapunzel, you go find that guy and...whatever he has to tell you, don't mess up, okay?  He's giving you a chance to come back.  You've been wanting to be back with him, like, all along, haven't you?!" 
"H-he wasn't on the shelf when I went to get this, though,"  I sniffled and dried my face, thinking frantically. 
"Go wait for him, then!" 
I gasped.  "That's weird, Anna!  I don't want to seem like a...a creep, or something!"
She laughed.  "I think he'll be so glad to see you that he won't even consider contemplating why you were waiting for him on his own shelf."  She neatened my hair as we spoke.  "Now, go.  I'll turn the iPod off." 
I pulled her into a quick hug and ran.  I almost tipped the alarm clock, but I managed to jump off of it onto the bins beside the chair, before it fell.   
Questions flooded my brain, and I just prayed that whatever this madness was, it went well. 
My heart was going about a zillion miles an hour - make that a zillion and one - and my churning stomach twisted into a knot.  I saw him on the floor near the chair, so I leapt from the bins to the chair...and made it!  I stumbled and fell to my knees when I landed, but I made it.  I stood and waited, anxiously wringing my hands. 

He reached the seat of the chair, and as soon as I saw him, the anxiousness slipped away, the knot in my stomach unfurled...and my heart pounded faster.  I wanted to run to him and throw myself into his arms, but I restrained myself. 
When he saw me, he froze.  I couldn't read the expression his face wore. 
"I, ah...saw the iPod...and I'm sorry for...you know.  And...I love ya," I explained lamely, giving him a small smile as I clasped my hands nervously in front of me.  I still had an overwhelming urge to run into his arms, but I wasn't sure what to do. 

I expected he would come over to me bashfully, or cautiously; not knowing what to expect either, but nope.  As his eyes filled with tears, he took two huge steps towards me, grabbed me up; lifting me clear up off my feet.  He wrapped me into a tight hug, and I did the same to him.  Burying his face into my neck, he finally spoke up.  "I've missed you so much, baby.  I love you so much it hurts, and this was the longest two weeks of my life, since I'd met you.  A-and...I've missed US.  And I'm so, so, so sorry about Thanksgiving.  I really messed up, and I'm so sorry.  It was uncalled for and I'm an i-idiot."  His voice cracked, and he kissed my hair before resting his chin on top of my head.   I bit back tears; this time, they were tears of happiness.
I melted into his embrace, which was the best thing I'd felt all week. 
"I'm sorry I'm such an i-"
Suddenly pulling away and putting his hands on my shoulders, Eugene gave me a disapproving look.  "Don't say it.  You just reacted to your emotions." 
But I'd caused such grief!  How could he be so forgiving?  "But I caused-"
He leaned his forehead down onto mine and gave me a pensive stare.  "All I care about right now is that you're  here.  I don't care what happened, and it never did matter to me that you're a little awkward.  I love your awkwardness, actually.  I just....I need you, sweet girl."  He shook his head, and I heard him getting choked up.
I gave him a pensive stare right back.  "You mean it?"
He wrapped me up even tighter than before, keeping his forehead on mine.  "Yes.  I love you...and I mean that, too!" 
I  laughed quietly for the first time since we parted ways.  "I'm sorry."
He traced my hairline with kisses before answering.
"It's fine," he told me, pulling away to brush the hair gently away from my face, studying my eyes. "Gosh, you're so beautiful....And I can't believe how much I missed you.  I didn't think it was possible to miss one doll so much, but I found out otherwise." 
 "I know...same here," I said.  His face was turning an adorable shade of red, and I grinned.

 

 
Suddenly, he reached for his shoulder and scooped up Pascal, whom I hadn't even seen. 
"I just remembered this guy!  He's been pining away for you, too.  Especially since Thanksgiving." 
He held him out to me with a grin, and I gasped, picking him up and cuddling him against my cheek, grinning. 
"I missed you, buddy!"  I exclaimed, gazing at him lovingly before I set him up on my shoulder and looking up at Eugene.  He was patiently giving me a moment with Pascal, giving me a relieved smile.  The loving expression didn't leave my face.  "And I missed you, too...a lot." 
He winked.  "I know, I know.  I always come in second to the chameleon." 
I giggled, feeling like the weight of the world was finally off of my shoulders.  I reached to grab him into a hug, but he dodged away playfully.  His long legs got tangled up, and I gasped as he tripped close to the edge of the chair.  He righted himself, laughing, and turned to me with a gleam in his eye.
"But I'll take my chances and come in second to Pascal, as long as I can be with you -- so I have to ask this-- will you marry me?"  He said it all in one breath. 
What?! 
I gave him a blank stare, my mouth going dry, as I watched him pull a crumpled purple ribbon from his pocket. 

[Side note -  a male doll gives a female doll a ribbon when they ask for their hand in marriage. The girl can't take the ribbon off of her wrist or her hair until the day of the wedding - then, the bride and groom each take an end of their engagement ribbon and together, they tie a knot. This is the only time a guy can give a girl a ribbon, until after they're married. ]

So much for me feeling calm. 
"W-what?"  I asked, still staring at him in complete and utter shock.  "I...I-I, ah...oh my gosh, Eugene.  Oh my GOSH!  Y-you're proposing!  Good grief, you just about gave me a-a heart attack!"  I clapped my hands over my mouth, trying to calm myself down. 
Swallowing, I realized I should've given him my answer by now. 
"Oh, gosh.  I still haven't - I mean, it's a simple yes or no answer, and I still...and I'm rambling.  Sorry.  Yes.  A zillion times yes!"
"You don't mean a zillion billion?"  He joked, trying to conceal the grin furiously attempting to spread across his face. 
"An infinite amount of yeses, then!"  I threw back, and he laughed. 

"Okay.  You win!"  He told me, stepping back over to me.  I held my wrist out, since my hair was loose.  My hand and arm were shaking, but his hand was, too.  It took awhile before he was able to tie a bow! :D    (I know, it looks ridiculous, but it was a long ribbon.   I'm more concerned with the fact that I'M ENGAGED NOW!!!!  ...over how it looks :} )

When he finally did, he immediately pulled me close and we both melted into our first kiss - which was the most tender and perfectly exhilarating thing I'd ever felt thus far. 
After he pulled away, he simply beamed down at me, and so I stood on tiptoe to return the kiss.  I stumbled off of my poorly-balanced tiptoes, and he pulled away abruptly,  grabbing my shoulders and pulling me closer so I didn't fall. 
"Thanks...sorry," I giggled, feeling slightly giddy.
He chuckled, giving me a warm gaze.  His face was beet red, and he flashed me a bashful smile.   "It feels so good to get that off my chest.  I've had that in my pocket since the fifteenth of November." 
"Oh my goodness...THAT'S what you were trying to tell me.  Oh, Eugene...I am so sorry.  I love you so much."  I gasped at how long he'd had to wait to propose to me. 
He gave me that grin of his.  "Love you, too, my gorgeous, precious girl." 
"So, um...When did you put that background and everything on the iPod?" I asked, blushing. 
"The day after Thanksgiving.  I figured that sooner or later, you'd use it to blog," he said, still smiling and giving me a gaze about the equivalent to what someone would give their most prized treasure. 
"What if I hadn't for months?" 
He paused while he considered that. "Well...if you had not have come to talk within a couple of weeks, I probably woulda looked for you or something." 
I sighed, and he immediately pulled me close again.  "It feels so good to be right here with you.  I'm sorry."  I told him again. 
"Like I said...it's fine.  I'm sorry for my behavior on Thanksgiving."  He told me, kissing my hair.

 
We sat down, lacing our fingers together, and we just sat in silent companionship for a good while, leaning up against one another.
Finally, Eugene spoke up. 
"I heard you and Anna talking Thanksgiving night....That's when I realized how wrong I'd been.  I wanted to go over to you and Anna, grab you up, and never ever let you go, ever again, right then and there...but I didn't.  Maybe I should have, but I didn't."
I shut my eyes and scooted closer to him.  He took my silent hint and wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulders, kissing my cheek. 
"When we're married, let's never argue, okay? I can't handle it," I joked.
"I can't guarantee no arguments, baby girl, but I can assure you that we'll work things out, no matter what.  Okay?" 
I nodded quietly.  "M'kay."
After a few moments, he spoke up again.  "Why don't we go up there?"  He asked, looking up at the dark window.  
I looked up as well, and saw the stars were just starting to come out!
He grinned at me, and I eagerly followed him up onto the windowsill. 
As soon as we were up there, I stepped away from him and stared up at the billions of stars, gasping.  "Oh my gosh...it's just perfect....I've wanted to do this for so long, Eugene!"
"I know," he told me, smiling. 
I remembered the conversation we had had, like, forever ago, about my dreams.  "My gracious, you remembered that?" 
"Every single thing," he said, reaching for my hand. 
"How?!  Half the time, I can't even remember what I did the day before!"  I joked, laughing.
"Because that whole day, I was just dying to tell you how I felt, but I was afraid to....and I fell in love even more as you told me about your past and your dreams....and I remember how terrified and excited I was to tell you."  He chuckled, squeezing my hand before he let go of it.
With surprisingly quick reflexes, I grabbed his hand back into mine and held it tight.
We stood in comfortable silence until the stars really came out.  It was as clear a night as what you could ever want.  Millions of stars covered the black satin sky. 
"This is just perfect, Eugene!"  I told him again, smiling from ear-to-ear. 

I pressed my nose against the window and stared outside, taking it all in for a few minutes, and then Eugene went to sit in the corner of the sill.  He patted the spot beside him, and I didn't hesitate to sit, bringing my knees to my chest and still staring outside. 
"C'mere," he said after a few moments, so I reached to put my arms around him.  He stroked my hair for a few seconds before plopping a kiss in it and holding me close, loosing a satisfied sigh.  I leaned my head on his shoulder so I could see out the window, and we just sat in silence.  It was cold on the windowsill, but neither of us wanted to leave.

My eyelids were drooping, finally relenting to my exhaustion, when I caught sight of a flash.  I'd just seen a shooting star!  I quickly pulled away from Eugene and watched out the window, wide-eyed and on my hands and knees. 
"What?" He asked, and I glanced back at him. 
"I just...wow.  Didn't you see it?  There was a shooting star!"  I said, looking back to the window, grinning excitedly. 
"Cool!  I didn't see it.  What'd you wish for?" 
"Can't say," I told him, sitting back on my heels and glancing back for just long enough to see he was giving me an adoring gaze.  He promptly dropped it as soon as he realized I'd seen it, his face flushing a little red, but then he gave me an impish grin. 
"I see how it is," he said dramatically, before he reached to tickle my side. 
"Um, no," I giggled, giving him a shove. 
Chuckling, he snagged the arm I'd used to shove him with, pulled me close again, and then put his arms around me again.  Of course, I didn't complain!  ;)


The next thing I remember, he was stroking my hair and whispering.  It took me a few seconds to decipher what he was saying. 
"Wake up, sweetheart....sorry to wake you, but you need to get to bed...you're so tired...wake up..."
I shot upright from my slouched position and gave him a horrified look.  "H-how long was I out?" 
"Just a little bit.  I dozed off for a few minutes, too - our sleepless week caught up to us both, I guess.  I was going to try carrying you to your shelf, but I didn't want to drop you - especially since it's dark." 
"Ohh.  Sorry!"  I told him, apologizing for falling asleep. 
Chuckling, he stood and held a hand out.  "That's fine.  You're really tired, sweetheart - let's get you home." 
I took his hand and quietly followed him back to the deck. 

When we got back, I realized how reluctant I was to face Zelia and Punzie in the morning. 
"Want to do something tomorrow?  Talk about a certain wedding that needs planned, perhaps?"  He whispered, winking and taking both my hands into his. 
"That would be awesome," I told him with a smile. 
"Ten AM work?" 
"Epic!  The less time I have to spend around Zelia and Punzie, the better," I groaned. 
"I know.  Ten it is!  That'll give you a bit to tell everyone else, then?" 
"Oh yeah.  Anna will be just bouncing off the walls.  She's reinforced the fact that I was stupid for breaking up with you." 
He chuckled.  "I'm sure.  I'll see you then,"
I grinned and reached up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.  He pulled me close and gave me a slow, gentle kiss in return, one that made me feel a little dizzy, and then we stood in each others' embraces, in total silence, for a few seconds before we exchanged goodnights and I love you's.  He watched me as I made my way up to my shelf, so I gave him one last grin before I changed into my nightie, dove under my blanket, curled up; carefully put Pascal beside me under the blanket, and then commenced the best snooze I'd gotten in nearly two weeks. 
Until I woke up sometime really early in the morning and remembered I'd just gotten engaged. 
And so that's why I'm up typing this now!  =D 

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, dear readers (:  I'm still alive...I'm so sorry I haven't posted as of late and left you hanging like I did.  I honestly haven't been off the shelf since...you  know.  Since I broke up with Eugene.  And boy, has it been treacherous.   If you don't feel like reading a disheartening post....don't continue.  
Or just proceed with caution!
The days have been long, but the nights are even longer.  I can't sleep, so I'm like a zombie.  I can usually hear Eugene pacing in his shelf, and it just kills me. 
Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, and even Hans have been trying to cheer me up this week.  Punzie has been making hay while the sun shines (for her), and harassing me so much, I can hardly stand it anymore!  Zelia's been surprisingly quiet about it, and has even backed me up a couple of times, if Punzie would say something especially nasty...since I've just given up on the retaliations.  Emma just avoids me overall - for the most part - but Piper's flashed me a couple of sympathetic looks.
Anna's been such a good friend, though, honestly.  Her and Kristoff both have been!  They've been going on quite a few walks...hm.  Oh, and  Hans has been pretty nice too. 
Yesterday, Hans went for a walk as well.  He tried to get me to go with him, and I think he had motives of his own.  Come on, he'll do whatever Anna or Elsa tell him to do!  He was probably going to try to have me 'conveniently' bump into Eugene.  Sooo I refused.  I wanted to see Eugene so badly, but I knew it was probably a bad idea.  But then again, I don't know what to think anymore. 
When Hans came back, he plopped down beside me. 
"I ran into Eugene whilst on my walk.  He looks as bad as you do-"
"Thanks, Hans, way to make a girl feel better."  I grumbled, refusing to look at him, even though I was secretly dying to know how Eugene was (and it was killing me that so far, he's as bereft as I am.)
"Don't you want to know how your friend is doing?"  He asked, slightly cross with me for interrupting. 
"Go ahead," I whispered with a sigh of defeat.  The words barely escaped my lips as my breath caught with anticipation, and, yet, fear. 
"The first words that came out of his mouth were asking about how you were.  I told him frankly, and asked how he's been.  He didn't answer me, but he, of all absurd things, asked if WE were together or if you loved me." 
I coughed in surprise. 
"Thanks, Rapunzel." 
"No, no...I just...ohh gosh, he probably thought I had fallen for you, and that's why I broke up with him!"  I cried, burying my face in my hands. 
"Well, I told him that that was a pretty odd idea he had there, and that no, we were not.  I may or may not have suggested that the only guy you're interested in is him.  He told me to tell you that Pascal's doing okay.  Rapunzel, I know it may not be my place to offer advice on this sensitive matter, but I would advise you to go visit him.  He truly does care about you and misses you; it's obvious to anyone.  And it's most definitely obvious that YOU still care about him, as well.  He's a rather nice fellow, and I feel that you deserve nothing but the best.  You and Eugene belong together, I believe.  I'm fairly certain that Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff will agree with me, quite adamantly." 
Ignoring the last part, I said, "Thanks for telling me that Pascal was doing okay.  You're a good pal, Hans." 
"Why don't you be a real pal to Eugene and go see him now?  He could use a little companionship, and you could, as well."  He suggested before he stood up and left me to my own devices. 
I sighed again.  Hans probably had a point, but I couldn't.  I knew I'd start bawling like a baby as soon as I'd as much as see him. 

This evening, we all snuck out (even Zelia, but Punzie stayed on our shelf) and headed for the refrigerator in Tangled Fan's kitchen.  Of course, all the humans were asleep...but everyone else wanted to raid the fridge for leftover Thanksgiving goodies.  I was initially going to stay back, but Elsa made me go with them. 

We ate our fill of the classic Thanksgiving fixings, and I kept an eye out for Eugene.  He didn't come out, much to my dismay.  He'd probably done just as what I'd wanted to do -- stayed on the shelf. 
I ended up finding a napkin, piling it with as much food as I could carry - after I wrote a quick little note (There is not and never will be anyone else.  And enjoy - I saw you weren't here tonight but the food was so good I didn't want you to miss out.) -  and then following everyone else back to the room. 
When I got to the deck, I set the napkin just outside of his shelf and knocked gently on the wall of the shelf before I snagged the iPod and hurried up to my own shelf. 

I caught up on blogging for awhile, but then I decided to slip down to make sure he'd gotten the food.  I didn't want to leave any greasy or damp stuff on Tangled Fan's shelf!  I'm sure she'd disapprove. 
I crept down with the iPod, shutting it off as I went. 
I snuck over and slid the iPod into the drawer in front of his shelf. 
"Hey, um...thanks." 
My breath caught.  Don't turn around.  DON'T TURN AROUND.  Do.  Not.  Turn.  Around.  Keep your cool...don't weird out.  Don't. Keeping my face turned so I didn't see him, I replied with a simple, "Mhm.  Did you see the-"
"Yeah," his voice grew faint, and I had the biggest urge to whirl around, grab him into a hug, and never  let him go. 
"I meant it."  I added.  My voice cracked and my heart shredded all over again as I walked past his shelf, not looking in, and then I started to go back to my shelf. 
"Wait." 
I paused, leaning against the opposite side of the shelf and listening.
There was a pause, and then he spoke again.  "Look, ah...y-you don't know how much I miss you." 
"I have a pretty good idea."  I was hoping that that was all he wanted to say, because I could feel my eyes tearing up and I could hear his voice was thick with emotion. 
"Oh - heads up.   Pascal heard you and now he's coming to see you," he added as I heard an excited little squeak. 
I finally broke down, sobbing, as I saw my-no, EUGENE's- poor, excited little Pascal.  He immediately scrambled towards me, and I slid down to scoop him up.  I cuddled him close to my cheek. 
"Rapunzel, I-I want nothing more than to just hug you and tell you that everything is gonna be alright.  I wish I knew it was going to be okay, myself!  But I know it won't help, will it?" 
I stayed silent. 
After all I'd put him through? 
He still cared.  I thought he would shut any thoughts of me out, and eventually forget about me, but here he was.  Being perfect. 
"You still there?"
"Yeah."
"I only want to know one thing, Rapunzel.  Why?" 
"Why wh-what?"  I asked, confused. 
"Why did you break up with me?  I just...I need to know the whole thing.  The truth." 
I was mildly offended.  "Why would I lie?  To you, of all dolls!  I-I...I told you the truth!  I don't want to do this right now-"
"If this is the last time we talk, I have to know.  Please."  His voice shook with emotion.
I sighed, looking down at Pascal.  "I promise that this is the truth, Eugene.  I don't want you getting hurt by my awkwardness and my thinking-before-speaking.  There's nobody else, never will be anyone.  I-I....that's it." 
The silence was deafening for a minute. "I never minded your awkwardness." He said quietly.
I leaned my head up against the shelf, still looking at Pascal. 
"We could still be friends, you know," I offered quietly, my heart surging with that glimmer of hope. 
"It would never be the same," was his reply. 
Realizing he was right, my heart sank.  "Y-you're right."  I whispered faintly.  I realized how big of a mess-up I'd actually caused.   
"Why does it have to be this way, Rapunzel?  Over awkwardness that's practically nonexistant?" 
I didn't have an answer.  "I-I..I'm confused, and this is only making it worse, and no, I am awkward, you just can't see it, a-and...I'm an idiot, okay?" 
"No, just tell me -"
"I...I don't know, hon-" It just slipped out, out of the old habit. 
"Don't call me hon unless you actually mean something by it.  I'm starting to wonder if you EVER meant something by it."  His voice had turned cool and hard. 
I sobbed.  "I'm sorry, it just...it slipped out, and--and...take him, please," I started to lose it.   I reached to give Pascal back. 
He was quiet until I felt Pascal leave my hand.  I realized how hard he'd tried (and succeeded) to keep from touching my hand .  And then he realized how he'd sounded.  "Oh my gosh, I'm so sor-"
I didn't stick around; I fled for my shelf and tried to cry as quietly as I could. 

"Hey,"
In the middle of trying to keep down a huge sob, I gasped.
"Anna?  You're still up?"  I asked in the darkness. 
I felt a hand on my shoulder and she sat beside me.
"Yeah.  Can't sleep.  What's wrong?  Wait.  Why don't we go somewhere else to talk?  So we can actually talk and not wake anyone up," she added.
"M'kay," I took in a shuddery breath and followed her down to the deck, then down to the bins. 
Sitting down, she looked at me.  I could see a little better because of the alarm clock's glowing numerals.  "Spill it." 
I spilled it.  I spilled everything....The whole spiel from tonight. 
"...A-and I never knew how big of a mistake I made, Anna!  I thought that in time, we could end up being good buddies again...but he's right, we never will be again!  And I-I'm such an idiot....you know how bad it hurts me to know I hurt him bad enough to make him this way, too?  I mess everything up and I'm worthless, no wonder nobody likes me!"  I buried my face in my hands as I finished my lengthy explanation.   
"Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Not true, Rapunzel.  Yes, you made a big mistake, one you likely can't take back.  But you know what?  I love you.  Elsa, Kristoff, and Hans do, too.  You know, this is what friends are for!  Maybe you need to open your eyes and realize that we're all here for you.  And you know what I think?  Eugene still loves you - you know, in THAT way.  And maybe you just need to give him time to figure things out.  He probably became harsh tonight because, like you, he was confused and didn't know what to do or what to think.  I'll bet if you drop by and see him tomorrow morning, things will be different," she offered, finally. 
"Th-things won't be different in the morning.  I know they won't be.  Gosh, why do I have to be so awkward and self-conscious?  I can't believe I'm so-"
"Don't even say it, Rapunzel, or else."  Anna mock-threatened. 
I sighed, wiping my face with my hands.  When I was done, I thought for a moment.  "When will it stop hurting?  I can't believe how much I-I miss him..."  I passed a hand through my hair, and ended up getting it knotted tightly around my fingers.  Remembering how gently, yet how awkwardly, he'd disentangled my hand for me when we'd just first met, I broke down, yanking my hand violently from the knot.  I felt as if someone had just punched me in the stomach.  I buried my face in my hands and my shoulders heaved with fresh sobs and even fresher grief. "I-I...I never realized how much he m-means--meant--to me...When'll I e-ever get over this?!" 
Anna put a hand on my shoulder and let me calm down before she answered me.  "It'll take time, but you're a strong girl, Rapunzel.  Just don't be afraid to take chances, okay?" 
"Like what?"  I asked.
"Like if he invites you to come back.  Or even to just talk." 
I nodded, and the realization hit me that I may very well never talk to him again.  A fresh wave of tears came, but I fought them back.  "I-I love hi...him so much, Anna....what horrible mistake have I made?" 
She reached over to pull me into a compassionate hug.  "I know.  I know." 
"No, you don't-"
"I know how bad I'd feel if I couldn't be around Kris," she said quietly. 
I didn't argue.  She did understand, at least somewhat. 

After a long while of deep conversation and 'it'll be okay's,  Anna and I headed back to the shelf.  As we walked past Eugene's shelf  on the deck, I thought I heard a quiet, "Rapunzel, please c'mere," but I ignored it, figuring it was just my imagination.  My imagination was pretty active these days -- thinking about what could've been if I hadn't have been such an idiot.  Too bad there isn't an off button for overactive imaginations.   I went back to grab the iPod so I could finish this post, and then went back to my shelf.

Worst Mistake Ever

Today, Elsa, Anna, and I had a girl's day out for part of the day.  Even though something kept bugging me, it was a ton of fun.
Before we headed out, Anna introduced me to Kristoff and Hans.  I have a feeling that Kristoff  is definitely her favorite out of the two....and the feeling was mutual.  But we'll see ;)  Kristoff was definitely the funnier one out of the two; Hans was more reserved.  When he opened his mouth, though, he was quite intelligent! 
Anyway, after the lengthy introduction, the three of us headed out. 
We rode Missy, and Elsa laughed at us, attempting to coach us on our riding skills...based off of things she'd seen online.  It was a hoot! 
When we were done taking turns riding  - Elsa didn't ride  - we headed up to the windowsill to sit and chat. 

("Look, guys...no hands!"  Right before she lost her balance and slid back down to sit like she was supposed to :P)

None of us were looking the right direction... =D

As soon as we sat down, I remembered what I hadn't done. We'd left at eight, and I'd totally forgotten to drop Pascal off at Eugene's shelf, and I hadn't brought him along...so he was at the shelf with Emma, Piper, Zelia, Punzie, Kristoff, and Hans. Great.
When I voiced my concern, Anna replied, "Ooh....well...you don't think that Punzie will be that upset about it, do you? I mean, really."
"I hope not...I'm sure he'll be fine." I said pushing aside my concern.
"Soo....you and Eugene..." Elsa jumped in, kicking up her feet and giving me a sly look.
"Well...he's still putting up with me, if nothing else," I laughed, my face getting hot. "How've Hans and Kristoff been?"
"They're quite nice. And handsome. Kris is so funny!" Anna said. (Kris is Kristoff's nickname, by the way.)
Elsa and I exchanged knowing looks.
We chatted for a good while longer, but then we headed back for the shelf.

Eugene was waiting for me at the deck. He gave me an almost bashful smile.
"Did you decide to take Pascal - no...he's not with you..?" He broke off and gave me a quizzical look.
"I know. I forgot him...." I said. "So you might not want to come up here."
"I'll be your bodyguard, and I'm sure Hans and Kristoff will help out," he joked, and I laughed. The other two were already up onto the shelf, so Eugene helped me up, and then we faced Zelia and Punzie.

The four of us were promptly met by Zelia's wrath. She held my poor Pascal by his tail.
"Zelia!" I gasped. "Put him down, now!"
She tossed him by his tail towards me, and I almost missed grabbing him...but luckily, Eugene had quicker reflexes. He caught him carefully, and then set him on my shoulder.
"What's wrong with you?" I yelled, stepping away from Eugene and getting into Zelia's face. "He could've-"
"Punzie told you, and I've reinforced, no reptiles on my shelf!"
"It's not YOUR shelf!" I yelled. "It's Anna's, and Piper's, and Emma's and Elsa's, and Punzie's, too! And Kristoff and Hans'! And it was just this once-"
"I warrned you, Rapunzel." She spat. "Now, get your reptile and your...your fiance, or whatever, off of my shelf!"
Used to denying anything she said; even though we really weren't engaged, I yelled back, "He's NOT my fiance - never will be, either! Now leave me alone! Leave all of us alone!" We glared at one another, but then my stomach twisted and I backed a couple of steps away.
Anna and Elsa gave me pitying expressions, but they didn't move towards me. I had a feeling that Anna was about to ream Zelia out...as soon as we left. Her fists were already balled up at her sides.
I turned away. "C'mon, Eugene. Let's go."
But he was gone.
Seconds later, I heard a crash and a thump.
The reality of what I'd said came crashing down as Anna, Elsa, and I ran to the edge of the shelf to see what had happened. Kristoff and Hans hurried after us.
The alarm clock had fallen from the deck, and Eugene...sweet, caring Eugene....was lying on the floor. He must've fallen with the alarm clock. And it was all my fault.
I loosed a bloodcurdling shriek.
I jumped off the shelf onto the deck and ran for him, crying, and screaming at him to be okay and that I loved him.
When I got down there, I frantically tried to get his attention.
He wasn't responding.

"Help!" I yelled, jumping up and whirling around to try to find someone to help me with him. I smacked into Hans' chest, and he promptly brushed past me so he could see Eugene himself. Elsa peered at Eugene, frightened, and Anna clung to Kristoff's arm, her face white.

Thankfully, Tangled Fan had heard my screaming ruckus, and came running into the room.
Like the pathetic, idiotic freak I am, I blubbered out what had happened.
"It's all my fault," I finished, burying my face in my hands and sobbing.
"I'll be right back for you, okay? Stay here." Tangled Fan said, scooping him up into her hand and hurrying off.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see Anna, Kristoff, Hans, and Elsa were behind me. Anna patted my shoulder and then pulled me into a compassionate hug, letting me cry into her shoulder. They stayed until Tangled Fan came back.

By the time Tangled Fan came to get me, I'd decided what I needed to do.
She took me out of the room, down a hallway and some stairs, and into a room she called the 'craft room'. Setting me on a table, she told me she'd be back in an hour to check on Eugene, adding that if he wasn't awake within the hour, it wouldn't be good.
He wasn't awake.
I sank to my knees beside him and touched his clammy face, gasping at how it felt.
"Oh, Eugene...I'm so sorry, honey..." I whispered hoarsely, burying my face in my hands and praying for him to wake up and be okay. My insides twisted and knotted until I felt nauseated and scared; and I hated myself.
About twenty agonizingly long minutes later, he came to. He cleared his throat and I looked up to see his eyes were open.
"Eugene!" I exclaimed quietly, and he looked around for a few seconds before looking towards me...and giving me that grin of his.
This time, that grin was like a knife to the stomach. He immediately tried to sit up, and I gasped, leaning over him to help him lie back down.
"No, no, no, honey....lay down and ta-take it easy." I told him, but he half-sat anyway.
"Compromise?" he asked, and I forced a chuckle, wondering how he could be so nice - and still have his sixth-sense-teasing-ability, right after coming to again.
"Okay. We'll compromise, honey," I whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sore anywhere?"
He thought for a moment. "My back kind of hurts, but that's it. C'mere."
Holding an arm out, he invited me to sit beside him and let him wrap an arm around my shoulders. He probably knew I was terrified.
"That's okay," I told him. That would only make things worse, if I did that. He gave me a surprised look. "Um...you know...what I said up there? I didn't mean an ounce of it. I just am so used to denying anything Zelia or Punzie says, that it just came out and...y-you coulda died because of my...stupidity. I am so, so sorry. And I don't even deserve to be here with you right now!" I bit back tears again.
"It's not your fault. I was hurrying back to my shelf, and I didn't think about that stupid alarm clock. That's all. It's mostly my fault for not taking it slow down to my shelf."
"But it was because of me, that you were hurrying!"
He reached for my arm and pulled me over to sit beside him, putting an arm tightly around my shoulders - minding Pascal, of course. "It's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't say you won't, because I know you, and you will." He gave me a quick kiss in the hair, and it was like someone was rubbing salt into my earlier, proverbial knife wound.
"Eugene, I-"
I broke off when Tangled Fan came in.
"Oh, good! You're awake!" She said, and then she commenced checking him over. When she was finished, she scooped both of us up. "You're good to go! No problems. Let me know if you get any headaches, though, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks," Eugene told her, and then she set us down on the floor when she got to the bedroom.
I started to lose my nerve, and I hoped Eugene had forgotten about me starting to say anything.
Right. Eugene, forgetting about something I was about to say?
"So..what were you gonna say back there?" He asked, turning to look at me.
"Well..y-you know I love you, right?"
He gave me that grin. "Yeah. You know I love you, right?" He joked, reaching over to pull me close to his side, still walking.
That was all I could take.
I froze, and he almost knocked me down, because he kept walking, his arm securely around my shoulders. When he realized I'd stopped, he turned and tried to take my hands into his, asking what was up. I sobbed, pulling my hands away and letting the tears roll down my face.

"I-I don't think we should be together anymore, Eugene, I don't think you should be around me. I don't deserve to be around you!" I sobbed.
His face held pure horror. "Wh-why? What'd I do? I'm sorry for-"
"No! It wasn't you! It's me being a-a clumsy, awkward fool! I almost killed you, Eugene! You could have died today, falling like you did! And it was all my fault! I-it's probably in your best interest, anyhow. Y-you don't really w-want to be around an idiot like me, do you?"
"Yes. Yes, I do, Rapunzel, I want to be around you! And it was because I was hurrying, that I fell. I told you not to b-beat yourself up about it! Please, Rapunzel...don't do this-"

"I don't want you getting hurt, Eugene. You'll only get into stickier situations if you stay around me. I'm too awkward, and clumsy, and I don't think before I speak sometimes, and-"
The whole time I was saying this, he was begging me not to break up with him. I wished he'd stop.
"Please, honey...I love you so much! I can't...I just can't be without you. Please. We can work this out...I don't care about any of your awkwardness or anything...I just need you. Please don't do this...you've been my only friend-"
"And you're mine, Eugene...but you're better off without-"
He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't you get it? You're everything to me. I love you so much, a-and....we've known each other since September and I'm not getting hurt around every turn. This was just one of those uncontrollable things that happens sometimes, and-"
"But-"
"Hear me out, Rapunzel. Okay?" I silenced, and he continued. "And you can't blame yourself for it. If anything, blame that good-for-nothing alarm clock! Don't do this, please. If you do...just know that it'll be the worst, most painful thing you could ever do to me, and I'll never get over you.  Even if I were to stay with you and get into stickier situations, as you call them, they'd never amount to what it'll be like if you do this.  I'll never get over you," he repeated adamantly.
"You will," I told him simply. "Everyone does. You'll find another girl and she'll be beautiful AND perfect, and you'll get married a-and be a perfect husband and maybe you'll even a-adopt some kids and y-you'll be a wonderful dad." I realized how much I wanted to be that girl, but I shook that thought off, because he deserved so much more than little old me.

"I want you to be that girl. No, Rapunzel, you ARE that girl! I'll never feel like this over anyone else, Rapunzel. I want you--I need you. And I love you...So much." He pulled me towards him so he could whisper it hoarsely into my ear.
"You deserve better than me," I tried to pull away, sobbing as chills rained down my arms, but he wrapped me into a hug. I fought it, pushing and twisting myself in an attempt to get away, because this was only making things worse, but he braced himself against my sobbing, frantic shoves, until I finally gave up. He kept me in that hug until my shoulders stopped heaving. Poor Pascal was probably getting the ride of his life on my shoulder.
When I was done, he didn't let go until I pulled away. His face held the most sorrowful expression that I think I've ever seen, and his eyes were rimmed with red.
"Please," he breathed. "Don't...don't leave."
My lips felt numb. "I'm so sorry, Eugene." I mumbled. "I...I really am. But it'll be the best for you."
He gave me the most defeated look, and then I slipped away from him.

I only made it a few steps before he grabbed my hand again. "W-what'll you do about Pascal?" He asked, and I froze.
I couldn't take him back with me, of course. And taking him down every day for Eugene would be out of the question. I slowly took him off my shoulder with my other hand and stepped towards him before I held Pascal out to him. "Take him."
A tear streaked down his cheek. "No, Rapunzel, no. I won't."
"Please. You're the only one I trust him to, and I can't take him back. He likes you, Eugene. He'll be fine. Don't cry about it, either. Please, don't cry about this." I told him, impulsively reaching to wipe his cheek. He grabbed my hand again and held it tightly as soon as it left his face. His features hardened, and he gave me a hard, pensive stare.
"What are you gonna do, Rapunzel? Shut yourself out from the whole world, just because you let something slip out of your mouth that you didn't mean to say, let alone didn't mean at all, anyway?! I'm sorry, but that is just absurd!" He said, but he took Pascal. He didn't let go of my hand, though. He peered down into my face and softened as he realized how he'd just acted. "I'm sorry, but it's true. Please don't do this, honey. I don't know what I'll do w-without you."

I took in a deep, shuddering breath. "I love you more than you know, but it's for the best, I think..."
I gently slipped my hand away from his and walked away. Hardest thing I ever did. I could see him start to disappear back into the shell he had abandoned after we had met, and I felt like I could throw up, I was so upset with myself.

As I walked away, I heard him give a frustrated sigh.  I tried not to submit to my urge to look back, but I did...and I saw him bury his face in his hands before his shoulders started to heave violently.  I clapped a hand over my mouth, feeling even more nauseous over my stupid decision, and ran.  As well as I could run, anyway. 
When  I got back, I told Anna what I'd done.  She told me I was stupid for doing it, and I agreed.  And Zelia and Punzie were simply thrilled. 

I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life. 
But I couldn't take it back. 
What have I done?

Curiosity And a Long Week

Sorry I haven't been able to get to a computer as of late to blog! 
Tangled Fan's turning her room upside down. 
Moving things around, doing all sorts of stuff...and this is only in her spare time, so it's taking FOREVER. 
She moved us to the dresser, the whole way across the room, and left Eugene at his shelf. 
Long week?  YES.  It's only been four days, but oh my goodness, I didn't know I could  miss that doll so badly.  =[  And at the same time, I've been worrying that maybe, he'll realize that the peace and quiet was nice and he won't want to be around me anymore.  What if that's what he'd been trying to tell me for the past week or so? 
In other words, I was DYING to get back. 
Anna caught wind that Tangled Fan was doing this because she got Kristoff and Hans dolls, both from the movie, Frozen.  And lovelorn Anna was hoping that one of them would be her 'true love'.  She was constantly babbling about weddings and engagements and just basically anything under the sun that had to do with boyfriends.  For her sake, I hoped one of them fell in love with her!  For her sake and everyone else's...
And then Anna and Elsa had told me that we'd have to have a girls' day out the day after we got back to our normal shelf.  That's gonna be interesting.
Anyway, today, we were all given the go-ahead to go back to our shelves.  She didn't care where we went, as long as it was off of the dresser.  I think Hans and Kristoff had already come; because she's slipped into the room with a box, set something on one of the shelves, and then left (knowing Anna was so excited to meet them). 
I know I should've been polite and gone to meet the new guys, but I wanted to see MY guy!  Oh, dear, I'm starting to sound like Eugene, aren't I?  ;)
So I made a run for it with Pascal. 
I fell a couple of times, but I made a run for it.  xD
I was excited, nervous, and scared at the same time. 
Beating everyone else to the chair, I realized I didn't care if anyone saw me with Eugene.  I hurried onto the bins, and then to the deck.
I waited, knocking on the side of the shelf.  "Hey.  Your little green buddy wants to see you.  And his owner does, too..."
That worked.  Eugene was out on the deck in an instant. 
His whole face brightened, and I tackled him into a relieved and excited hug, hugging him as tightly as I possibly could.  He lifted me off of my feet, he held me so tight in return!  Neither of us wanted to let go.  Eventually, though, my feet touched the deck again and he nuzzled my hair affectionately. 
"I missed you, my sweet girl," he told me quietly. 
I felt like crying, I was so happy to be with him.  "I-I missed you, too!"  My voice cracked as I realized how much he did care about me.  I'd known he cared about me, but I hadn't known he did...this much.  And then I realized how much I cared about HIM!
He loosened his grip so he could peer down into my face.  "What's the matter?" 
"I'm just soooo happy to be back, a-and I never realized how much you cared about me, and I don't deserve it at all!" 
Pulling me close again, Eugene said, "You deserve the best, darling girl, and I can guarantee I'm not the best.  Man, I never knew I could miss--"
"--One single doll so much?"  I finished. 
"Exactly!"  He laughed. 
We stood in silence, just in each others' arms, until finally, I sighed and pulled away.  "Love you," I told him, reaching to kiss his cheek. 
He turned an adorable shade of pink, which matched the bashful smile on  his face.  "Love you too, Rapunzel." 
I grinned and sat down on the deck.  He followed suit, promptly reaching to hold my hand.  But I pulled my hand away so I could pull him into another quick hug, and he put an arm around me and held me close, stroking my hair in a tender, loving fashion. 
I smiled at him, and he asked where everyone else was at. 
"They're still heading back.  I ran." 
He laughed.  "I can believe it, sweetie.  But that means that they'll be coming up shortly, right?" 
"Mhm.  But you know what?  I don't care if they see us.  Sure, Punzie will harass me, but I don't care.  I wanna be with you."
Nuzzling my hair a moment before plopping a kiss in it, his reply was a simple, "Sounds good to me." 
I snuggled a bit closer to him.  "Soo...how was your week?" 
"Lonely, boring...full of missing you, m'lady.  And even that chameleon of yours." 
"Really?"  I laughed.  I pulled away from his arm so I could get Pascal off of my shoulder.  I set him down on Eugene's lap, and he did a happy little squeaky noise. (Pascal, not Eugene!  =D)  Eugene chuckled and scooped him up so he could put him on his own shoulder. 
"How was your week?" 
I laughed.  "Interesting.  Punzie was NOT amused, because that little chameleon kept sticking his tongue in her ear." 
He chuckled.  "Oh boy." 
I laughed, reaching to lace my fingers with his. 

We talked all day long.  When it came to be ten o' clock (I hadn't noticed the time until I'd glanced over at the alarm clock), I gasped. 
"Oh my gosh!  You probably want to go to sleep, and here I am keeping you up!"  I exclaimed, jumping up from my spot beside him on the deck. 
He stood as well.  "You don't HAVE to go if you don't want to.  I'm not tired -- I could talk for a good long while yet." 
Surprised, I gave him a broad smile.  "Really?" 
"Mhm," he pulled me close into  a one-armed hug.  "I missed ya, and I've been thoroughly enjoying my time with you today, sweetheart." 
My smile couldn't get any broader, nor my heart any more full.  "Me too."  I hugged him back.  "I don't think I deserve to even know you though; you're so sweet!" 
He chuckled.  "Noo...I don't think I deserve YOU, though, because you deserve so much more." 
"I don't think-"  I started to contradict.
"I do."  He said firmly, and I laughed.
"Okay."  I stretched my back before I sat back down.  He followed suit; and then he took Pascal off of his shoulder, giving me a gentle stare.
"Hmm....I'm with my favorite girl, and my favorite chameleon.  Don't think life could get any better." 
I did.  If we were married, it'd be amazing.  But I didn't see that coming in the near future; a girl could always hope though.  Right?  But who could put up with a girl like me...forever?   It'd take someone awful special to put up with me. 
I gave him a kiss on the cheek and curled up as close to his side as I could get.  He gave a content sigh and put an arm loosely around me. 
"So, precious dear, would you like to finally do what I've been talking about since the fourteenth or the fifteenth?  Tomorrow?" 
"Oohhh...yes, definitely!  It'll have to be in the afternoon, though -- Anna and Elsa want me to go on a girls' day out with them tomorrow.  Which, I'm not sure how it'll go or if we're even having it.  I think Kristoff and Hans came today, and Anna's been obsessing all week about them.  It'll only get worse now that she's met them...and yeah, I shoulda gone up to introduce myself to them, but I wanted to see you." 
He chuckled.  "Oh, the poor lovelorn girl.  For her sake-"
"-I hope one of the two marries her?"  I finished for him.
"Exactly."  He laughed.  "Maybe you two could even end up doing a double wedding." 
"O-oh?"  I asked, suddenly looking up to give him a surprised and curious stare. 
He chuckled and kissed my forehead. 
Well, if that won't make a girl wonder!  Was he hinting at what was going to happen tomorrow?  Or was he just suggesting that one of the new guys would like me?  Maybe he didn't love me in the way I loved him -- you know..like, you can love someone in a family-like way, like you feel like they're your brother or sister or something, and then you can love someone as a possible spouse!  If you get what I mean? 
Rrrgh! 

Nov. 16 & today, 2013

Well...Eugene's mysterious plans never rolled into action. 
I woke up sick.
Anna woke up sick as well. 
Elsa was somehow unaffected. 
At eight, Eugene came up.  I didn't want him to catch this cold, so I hadn't gone down to drop Pascal off...apparently, he'd been greatly concerned about me...poor guy :( 
Anyway...I woke up and my nose was stuffed, my throat incredibly sore, and my voice sufficiently faint.  Anna was the same way. 
Punzie, as soon as she realized we were sick, made sure to harass. 
"Oh, poor dears.  Maybe if you hadn't have been acting like kids yesterday and not gone out to play in the snow, you wouldn't be sick.  You dorks," she laughed, but Zelia shot her a horrified expression. 
I heard her say - quite loudly, if she was worried about being heard - "Knock it off!  They're sick, and that was uncalled for!" 
And then she flashed me an unreadable expression.  Her eyes  were filled with...sadness?  Longing?
What? 
As soon as I met her eyes and opened my mouth to ask what was wrong --I may not like her, but I can still be concerned about her--, she darted her eyes away and turned away from me. 
Well, that's confusing. 

And then Eugene came bursting up onto the shelf. 
His face held pure fear, and so I stood, making sure Pascal stayed under my blanket.  Or at least, I tried to stand.  I was shaky on my feet, so I stumbled a step. 
"What's wrong?" I asked, instantly worried. 
Relief washed over his features, and he suddenly became aware of his audience. 
"I was just, um...a little worried, cause you didn't come down earlier.  Are you okay?"  He said quietly, but his eyes spoke volumes.  He hadn't been just a mite concerned.  Poor guy =\
I sighed.  "Sorry.  But go back -- Anna and I are sick and I don't want you getting this, okay, bud?" 
He glanced towards Zelia and Punzie, but then he strode across the shelf towards me.  Everyone stared at him.
I hissed his name, but he stopped in front of me.  "Eh.  Germs don't bother me," he told me before he slowwwly walked closer, then went to go past me to sit by the wall of the shelf.  As he went past me, he whispered, "And I want to see you." 
I went to sit with him, but I immediately whispered hoarsely, "You do realize we have an audience, right?" 
"Mhm," he told me, reaching to kiss my hair.  I leaned away.
"Noo, no no no.  You'll get sooo sick, and I don't want you to get this!" 
"Ehh.  Like I said -- germs don't bother me." 
"They might," I grumbled, and he chuckled.  "But um...do you want to go do whatever it was you wanted to go do today?" 
He shook his head.  "No, you need to chill out today.  We can do it tomorrow if you're feeling better; or whenever." 
"Oh, but-" I broke off to cough into my elbow. 
"Exactly, sweetie."  He whispered, and I rolled my eyes. 

Despite my occassional grouchiness (I was achy all over, I was feverish, and my throat felt horrible), Eugene stayed with me allllll day long.  Punzie tried to annoy him a couple of times, but he refused to leave me.  Zelia kept uncharacteristically quiet, and I wondered why. 
Elsa tended to her sister, Anna, most of the day, I kept Pascal hidden, and Piper and Emma stayed far away from us.
I must admit, I don't deserve to even know Eugene.  He's such a sweetie..and I felt bad that he stayed with me.  He'll for sure get sick :( 


Nov. 17th, (today :D) Anna and I both were feeling a lot better.  It musta been a flu-like ailment; not sure.  I'm just glad it's over with!  I headed down to drop Pascal off at Eugene's, and to see him. 
I knocked quietly on the side of the shelf before I entered, not waiting for an invite, for once. 
He was still asleep. 
I froze in my tracks, trying to be quiet, and then turned to leave. 
"Wait -- I'm up." 
Right before I stepped back out onto the deck, Eugene said it....hoarsely.
I backtracked and turned back to look at him.  He was sitting up, but he looked pretty sick. 
"No, lay back down.  You sat up too fast, didn't ya..." I hurried over and knelt beside him.
"Mmhmm..." he turned away to cough and clear his throat. 
"And you're sick, too." 
"Mmmhmm," he said, finally starting to look a little less pale.
I sighed, feeling horrible.  "I'm sorry, hon."
"It's fine.  How're you feeling?" 
"Better...so maybe you'll be well tomorrow!"  I said. 
He started to stand.  "W-well, you still wanna go for a walk or someth-"
"Ahaha, no, you sit back down.  We can go when you're feeling better." 
"But I was going to--" he broke off, his face growing red.  He sat back down beside me. 
"You were going to what?" 
"Nothing."  He sighed.  "Um, so why don't you go back to your shelf and get some rest?" 
I shook my head.  "Not unless you don't want me around.  You sat with me all day yesterday, so it's only fair that I do the same for you." 
"But you don't have to-"
"But I want to...so try and make me leave."  I leaned over to whisper, adding a kiss on the jaw so he knew I was only mock-threatening on that last part. 
He instantly grinned despite himself, not even pretending to be exasperated.  "Hmm, well, whatever you want, dearest girl." 
I gave him a quick hug before settling down beside him.  "If you're cold or want to be left alone, let me know, okay?  And try to get plenty of naps." He nodded, so I continued to add what I'd wanted to say all day yesterday.  "And....I just wanted to say thanks.  Thanks for sitting up there with me all day yesterday..you knew you'd get sick, but you were selfless enough to do it for me anyway.  I don't deserve to be around a guy as sweet as you." 
Eugene promptly took my hand and laced his fingers with mine, even though he was a little shaky.  "Oh, you're welcome, sweet girl.  I don't deserve to even know you --yet, here we are.  And anyway, I think Anna was probably the one who got me sick.  Did you see that time when she sneezed-"
I remembered the one time yesterday that Anna HAD indeed sneezed; not covering her hand, and-yeah, it was gross, so I won't elaborate.  I giggled, giving him a gentle shove.  "You're bad!  But yes, that was nasty."
After that, we were quiet for a good long while.  Eventually, his hand loosened and his head drooped down.  I peeked down into his face and saw he was sleeping.  I put a hand on his other hand, and realized how cold it was, so I got up to go retrieve my own blanket for him.  Working quickly, I hurried up to my shelf and snagged my blanket. 
Anna was still up.  "Hey, what's up?" 
"Eugene's sick...I'm just going to grab my blanket and head back down." 
"I see...well, tell him I hope he's better soon.  Ahh...I can only hope to someday share a love with someone like what you and Eugene have." 
I laughed.  "He's not completely and utterly madly in love with me...I don't think.  He hides it very well if he is.  Which, he isn't.  I'm pretty sure, anyway." 
"Ohhh,  I've seen the look in your eye when you talk about him, and the look on his face when he's around you.  And, your face is red."  Anna giggled, but then coughed. 
I shook my head.  "Hmmh....well, I need to get down there before he wakes up again.  I'll see you!" 
She nodded.  "See ya." 
I hurried back down to his shelf, settled the blanket over him, gently so I didn't wake him.  Then, I just sat on the chair and waited for him to wake up.  I got a good bit of blogging done, if all else fails!

I spent all day with him - just as he'd done for me yesterday.  He was much more appreciative of it; though, and must've been feeling a bit better by evening, because he was back to his silly, teasing self. 
When I went to leave, he stood (even though he was still pretty shaky) and pulled me into a hug. 
"Thanks for hanging around today," he told me. 
"Oh, anytime.  Thank YOU for doing the same for me!"  I laughed.  "Feeling a bit better?" 
"Yeah," he told me, and I gave him another quick hug.  "So....do you wanna go do the thing I wanted to do yesterday, tomorrow?" 
I laughed.  "Sure.  I'll see you in the morning!" 
He grinned.  "See you!" 
I pulled away and headed for the deck, forgetting completely about my blanket. 
As I balanced on the alarm clock to crawl up to my shelf with Pascal, I heard a "Wait up", moments before my wadded-up blanket came flying out, hitting me in the back and rearend.
I jumped in surprised and almost fell off of the alarm clock.  Gasping, I snagged the blanket and stepped off of the clock simultaneously.  I even surprised myself!  =D
"Sorry!"  Eugene  called.   "And that was NOT where I was aiming-"
I laughed, feeling like teasing him.  Pretending to be mad, I took a couple steps towards him, until I was right in his face.  "Mhm, yeah, sure." 
He put on a terrified face.  "Oh, no...please spare me from your terrifying wrath, Rapunzel!" 
I lost my faux-angry composure and giggled, standing up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and whisper an "I love you."  He pulled me close one more time. 
"Love you too, my dear girl.  Can't wait for tomorrow!" 
I grinned.  "Me neither." 

November 13th 2013

(Sorry - we're not quite up to date yet!!  See TODAY's post here.  I meant to post this last night, but I guess I didn't!  Oops..)
We haven't gotten caught smuggling Pascal between our shelves.  At least, she hasn't noticed yet. 
November 13th, I got up at 6:30, which was my normal time, since the 5th.  I hurried down to the deck with Pascal, and called softly.
"Eugene?" 
"Come on in," he answered groggily, after a few minutes.   
I stepped into his shelf and laughed.  "Did I wake you up?  I'm sorry." 
He blinked a couple of times, tossing his hankerchief off of his legs.  I went over and held a hand out to him, and he took it, standing.  "Thanks - and it's fine," he chuckled, clearing his throat. 
I reached to straighten his shirt collar, which was askew - just me being odd little me - and he pulled me close into a hug. 
"What?"  I asked, grinning at him and putting my hands on his shoulders. 
"Nothin'.  Do you want to, ah..,do something today?"  He asked me.  His face was red, but his eyes sparkled hopefully. 
"What's my answer to that, every other time you ask?"  I asked in return. 
"Take that as a yes, then?" 
"Mm-hmm," I grinned.  "When?" 
"Two..?"  He asked. 
I nodded.  "Sounds great!  I'll let you get back to sleep, I guess," I laughed, my face a little warm. 
"I won't be going back to sleep, but okay.  I'll see you at two, then!"
"Can't wait!"  I smiled, turning and leaving for my shelf. 

Well... I almost made it to my shelf.  I caught sight of a book on the chair.  Me and books...I love to read, so an opportunity to read never gets passed up.  =]
I hurried over to it and immediately dragged it over to the window, scrambled onto the windowsill, curled up in the corner, and commenced reading.

You know what's coming, don't you?
I lost track of time. 
Twenty-five pages later, Eugene and Pascal walked up to me. 
"Hey," I grinned, looking up at him.  It didn't process at first. 
"Hey, yourself," he chuckled, and then I remembered. 
I clapped my hands to my mouth and gasped.  "Ohh my gosh. I am so, so sorry!"  I buried my face in my hands, horrified.  "I can't believe-"
"Don't worry about it," he said, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands in his, pulling them away from my face.  "No problem." 
"Yeah, it is.  I wish I could actually do something right for once," I mumbled. 
"Don't worry about it," he repeated, letting go of one of my hands to brush the hair from my face.  "It's fine.  No harm done, no problem, and actually...what were you reading?" 
"Um...the first Anne of Green Gables book...."  I trailed off, glancing back at the cover of the book. 
"Cool.  Do you want to read together, instead of going for a walk?"  He asked.
"Well..you wanted to go for a walk, didn't you?" 
"I'm open to anything...long as it's time spent with you, I think it's time well spent.  Regardless of what we do."  He gave me a bashful grin, and I blushed, reaching for the book again. 
I patted the spot beside me on the windowsill, scooting forward and over a bit. He sat down, and I opened the book over both of our laps, leaning forward so I wouldn't lean up against him...which is what I'd be doing if I leaned back and was comfortable. 
"You can lean back if you want," he told me. 
Relieved, I leaned back and rested my head on his shoulder - but I made sure we could both still read - and we read in complete and utter silence for a good long while. 

The day was heading rapidly for sunset when Eugene randomly and totally unexpectedly plopped a kiss into my hair. 
I tried not to show my surprise, but my breath caught.  And then I remembered that I still hadn't told him I loved him.  I really did - sometimes, so much it hurt! - but I just hadn't gotten the courage to tell him yet.  Just as I was thinking that, he set his one hand over the one I had holding his side of the book open. 
I twisted around to look at him....and caught him giving me a look of sheer adoration.  It vanished when he saw I had seen him.  I swallowed, but my mouth was dry. "I-I...need to tell you something, Eu-Eugene."  I stammered, my heart thundering.  Why was I so nervous, if I felt the way I did about him? 
"Okay?"  He quirked a brow and tilted his head to the side, watching me. 
I opened my mouth, but all that came out were a couple sputtering, non-sensical noises. 
"You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"  He gave me a gentle, mildly concerned expression, and reached to brush the hair from my face. 
I'd never felt more loved, more accepted, or more at home in my life, up until I'd met him.  Only when I was with him, did I feel this way.  What was I waiting for? 
"I love you."  I blurted, finally, taking in and releasing a relieved breath once I'd said it. 
He simply beamed at me.  That's the only word I can think of to describe the look on his face. 
"I love you, too, and I could just kiss you right now, but I know you want to wait till you're engaged." 
I laughed.  "It's dumb, I know." 
"No, actually...it's  understandable." 
I tipped my head up and gave him a kiss on the jaw.  "I guess that'll have to do." 
"For now," he winked, letting go of the book - it was getting too dark to read anyway - and wrapping me up in his arms.  I noticed his face was a tiny bit red. 
I grinned and leaned my head on his shoulder, enjoying his warm embrace. 
We stayed that way for awhile, but then we headed back to the shelf. 
 "I'll see you in a bit, then?"  He asked me when we were at the deck. 
"Yup...see you in a few hours!"  I told him.  I wished I could take Pascal up to my shelf now, to save us both a trip, but everyone was still awake - understandably, since it was only 5:30!  But oh well - this is how life had to be. 

Nov. 14, 2013 (:

Today (11-14-13....we're back to the present now =D ), Anna, Elsa, and I finally convinced Tangled Fan to let us go outside.  It had snowed on the 12th, but she'd been busy yesterday...so we got our way today!!  Anna had a second set of clothes that was nearly identical to hers, so she let me wear them...which was nice, because my other dresses are summery and definitely NOT fit for winter.  I braided my hair and bundled a bit of it up so it wouldn't drag in the snow.  Very messy, but effective.  Maybe.

I tried to convince Euegne to come along, but he said that he'd hang back.  I'll get him out in the snow sometime!

But regardless. 
Elsa was sooo totally in her element.  We were only allowed on the top of the grill and the railing on the deck; because Tangled Fan said we might get dirty or trampled on the deck. 

As soon as she set us down on the grill and left, Elsa twirled around. 

"This is awesome!"  She exclaimed. 

 

Anna and I grinned at her, and then a gust of wind hit me.  

I moved a step closer to Anna. 
"It's chilly, isn't it??" 
"Yeah - but it'll be okay.  It can't snow and be warm out!" 
I laughed.  "I guess not," I said, wrapping my arms around myself. 
Anna put a hand on my back and then leaned over to whisper in my ear.  "I'd keep an eye out for Elsa.  She might go a little crazy and start throwing snow at us...."
I giggled, watching Elsa as she kicked snow around giddily. 

Forgetting my  cold hands, I walked a few steps and stared at the snow.  It was soo  pretty!!
Pretty soon, Anna, Elsa, and I were running back and forth, giggling and playing like little schoolgirls.  I was thinking that I hadn't even tripped once when...

I fell. 
In the snow. 
In the cold, wet snow.

Surprised, my arms flailed out until I hit the pillow-like snow. 

Anna and Elsa both turned to me to see what had happened. 
I flopped my arm across my face, giggling. 
"Yay me," I laughed.  "Help?  Please?" 
Anna grabbed one arm, and Elsa the other, and they hauled me upright.  A little snow skittered down my neck, and I shivered as I thanked them. 
I took a step away from the two of them, and didn't realize that the edge was RIGHT THERE. 
I skidded down, scrambling to try to get up. 

With a gasp, Anna grabbed my hand just in time and hauled me upright.  Again. 

"Thanks..." I giggled.  "Oh my...Don't mind little awkward me.." I said, looking at my snow-covered self.  Snow had gone up my sleeves, down in my boots, in my hair, and even caked onto my LEGS. Brrrr! 
I shook like a dog, and Anna jumped away. 
"Oh, thanks for that, Rapunzel!"  She giggled.  "Now I'm going to have to retaliate." 
She scooped to pick up a handful of snow, forming it into a snowball. 
"Not if I do first!"  I giggled gleefully.  I scooped up a handful of snow, shielding my face so I wouldn't get hit in the face. 

We threw the snowballs...both of us missed.  Anna came close, but I ducked out of the way just in time...heehee!!
The next snowball I threw, I accidentally hit Elsa, who was standing behind Anna --planning on stuffing snow down her shirt collar.  She gasped, but then a big grin spread across her face. 
Anna, too busy to notice her sister, screamed as soon as Elsa jammed her icy-cold handful of snow down her back.  She whirled, grabbed up a handful of snow, and whipped it at her sister. 
Laughing, she backed up, wiping her face.  While I had the opportunity, I threw a snowball at the back of Anna's head. 
She whirled back towards me and threw another snowball. 
We went back and forth a few times, but then I caught a glance of Elsa over Anna's shoulder.
She had a HUGE snowball (okay, huge for us) in her hands, a sneaky grin  on her face. 
"Um, NO!"  I giggled, ducking down. 

Anna wasn't so lucky. She got it square in the back of the head. 

We continued the snowball fight for I don't know how long. 
It was soo much fun, though! 
When we came back inside, though, I couldn't feel any part of my little plastic self, I was laughing, and I was freezing. 
Tangled Fan ushered us back to her warm bedroom, and then left us on the chair. 
We hopped over to the deck, and Eugene immediately noticed us. 
"Hello, girls," he called politely to the three of us.  We all turned to look, and he came out onto the deck as well.  He flashed me a quick, yet welcoming, grin.  "Cold out there?" 
"Mmhm!"  I said.  
Anna and Elsa agreed, but then they left for the shelf above and to the right. 
Thinking of a good prank to pull on him, I gave him a smile. "Hold my hands!"
Bewildered at my straightforwardness, he gave me a surprised look; but he fell for it; reaching for both of my freezing-cold hands. 
As soon as he touched them, he jerked his hands away. 
"Good grief, you're frozen!" 
I laughed.  "I can't believe you fell for that!" 
"You..." he pretended to be exasperated, but then while I was still giggling, he reached over and pulled me into  a hug.  "But I'm glad to see you....annnd I think I just stuck my hand in some un-melted snow that was stuck to your cape.  Sweet." 
I laughed even harder.  "Sorry!"
"Ehh, that's fine.  Little bit of snow never hurt anyone." 
"Yes.  And you're coming with me next time we go out to mess around in the snow.  It's sooo much fun!"  I told him. 

"Is it, now?"  He asked with a smile.  "Sorry I didn't go!" 

"That's fine.  We'll just have to make plans to go out again!  If Tangled Fan lets us --that'll be the kicker." 

He nodded.  "She probably will.  Nobody got dirty or fell or anything, so she'll likely give you another opportunity." 
"Yeah," I agreed. 
"And why don't you take your duds off and stay awhile?  I missed my girl today." 
I giggled.  "Your girl, hmm?" 
He blushed and ducked his head, and I laughed, pulling away from him to pull my hat off and get my hair out of its' outrageously un-pretty bundle. 
The second I was done --the hat still hadn't left my hand, but I let it slip onto the deck-- Eugene pulled me close again. 
I put a hand on his shoulder and smiled  coyly.  "Well, I guess I missed you too, today," I admitted, blushing.  I had, even though I'd had a lot of fun.

He chuckled. "Well...why don't you come in? Pascal's on the wicker chair...sleeping...he stole it from me." 
 I didn't take my cape off (I was still sooo cold), but I followed him into his shelf. I bent and peered down at adorable Pascal, who appeared to be having a very good snooze.

I grinned. "Look how adorable he is!" I added with a squeak.
He chuckled at my affection for my reptile, but he came over to look as well. "He does like that chair."
I smiled and turned back to him.  He sat down on the floor and patted the floor beside him. 
I plopped down as well, and he grinned at me. 
"Sooo...what did you do today?"  I asked, looking around at his shelf. 
"Oh, thinking about something important...talked to Tangled Fan...about you," he said casually. 
Curious, I looked back at him.  "Oh really?  About what?" 
"Important things," he laughed, his face turning absolutely beet red.
"Hmm," I said, and he chuckled, giving me that sweet grin of his.  "I'll let it slide this time." 
"Thank you, your highness; I was so concerned that I would be-ow!"  He broke off as I gave his arm a playful swat. 
"That did not hurt," I reprimanded him, and he laughed again, tickling me in retaliation.  "Hey!" 
He laughed and then reached for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. 
"So....Would you be interested in doing something tomorrow evening?" 
"Evening?  It'd be dark!"  I wrinkled my nose. 
"But if...ah..well, yeah.  Okay...just sometime tomorrow!"  He chuckled, his face turning red yet again. 
"You don't have to get all red about it," I winked and rested my head on his shoulder.  "I'd love to."