Before we headed out, Anna introduced me to Kristoff and Hans. I have a feeling that Kristoff is definitely her favorite out of the two....and the feeling was mutual. But we'll see ;) Kristoff was definitely the funnier one out of the two; Hans was more reserved. When he opened his mouth, though, he was quite intelligent!
Anyway, after the lengthy introduction, the three of us headed out.
We rode Missy, and Elsa laughed at us, attempting to coach us on our riding skills...based off of things she'd seen online. It was a hoot!
When we were done taking turns riding - Elsa didn't ride - we headed up to the windowsill to sit and chat.
None of us were looking the right direction... =D
As soon as we sat down, I remembered what I hadn't done. We'd left at eight, and I'd totally forgotten to drop Pascal off at Eugene's shelf, and I hadn't brought him along...so he was at the shelf with Emma, Piper, Zelia, Punzie, Kristoff, and Hans. Great. When I voiced my concern, Anna replied, "Ooh....well...you don't think that Punzie will be that upset about it, do you? I mean, really."
"I hope not...I'm sure he'll be fine." I said pushing aside my concern.
"Soo....you and Eugene..." Elsa jumped in, kicking up her feet and giving me a sly look.
"Well...he's still putting up with me, if nothing else," I laughed, my face getting hot. "How've Hans and Kristoff been?"
"They're quite nice. And handsome. Kris is so funny!" Anna said. (Kris is Kristoff's nickname, by the way.)
Elsa and I exchanged knowing looks.
We chatted for a good while longer, but then we headed back for the shelf.
Eugene was waiting for me at the deck. He gave me an almost bashful smile.
"Did you decide to take Pascal - no...he's not with you..?" He broke off and gave me a quizzical look.
"I know. I forgot him...." I said. "So you might not want to come up here."
"I'll be your bodyguard, and I'm sure Hans and Kristoff will help out," he joked, and I laughed. The other two were already up onto the shelf, so Eugene helped me up, and then we faced Zelia and Punzie.
The four of us were promptly met by Zelia's wrath. She held my poor Pascal by his tail.
"Zelia!" I gasped. "Put him down, now!"
She tossed him by his tail towards me, and I almost missed grabbing him...but luckily, Eugene had quicker reflexes. He caught him carefully, and then set him on my shoulder.
"What's wrong with you?" I yelled, stepping away from Eugene and getting into Zelia's face. "He could've-"
"Punzie told you, and I've reinforced, no reptiles on my shelf!"
"It's not YOUR shelf!" I yelled. "It's Anna's, and Piper's, and Emma's and Elsa's, and Punzie's, too! And Kristoff and Hans'! And it was just this once-"
"I warrned you, Rapunzel." She spat. "Now, get your reptile and your...your fiance, or whatever, off of my shelf!"
Used to denying anything she said; even though we really weren't engaged, I yelled back, "He's NOT my fiance - never will be, either! Now leave me alone! Leave all of us alone!" We glared at one another, but then my stomach twisted and I backed a couple of steps away.
Anna and Elsa gave me pitying expressions, but they didn't move towards me. I had a feeling that Anna was about to ream Zelia out...as soon as we left. Her fists were already balled up at her sides.
I turned away. "C'mon, Eugene. Let's go."
But he was gone.
Seconds later, I heard a crash and a thump.
The reality of what I'd said came crashing down as Anna, Elsa, and I ran to the edge of the shelf to see what had happened. Kristoff and Hans hurried after us.
The alarm clock had fallen from the deck, and Eugene...sweet, caring Eugene....was lying on the floor. He must've fallen with the alarm clock. And it was all my fault.
I loosed a bloodcurdling shriek.
I jumped off the shelf onto the deck and ran for him, crying, and screaming at him to be okay and that I loved him.
When I got down there, I frantically tried to get his attention.
He wasn't responding.
Thankfully, Tangled Fan had heard my screaming ruckus, and came running into the room.
Like the pathetic, idiotic freak I am, I blubbered out what had happened.
"It's all my fault," I finished, burying my face in my hands and sobbing.
"I'll be right back for you, okay? Stay here." Tangled Fan said, scooping him up into her hand and hurrying off.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see Anna, Kristoff, Hans, and Elsa were behind me. Anna patted my shoulder and then pulled me into a compassionate hug, letting me cry into her shoulder. They stayed until Tangled Fan came back.
By the time Tangled Fan came to get me, I'd decided what I needed to do.
She took me out of the room, down a hallway and some stairs, and into a room she called the 'craft room'. Setting me on a table, she told me she'd be back in an hour to check on Eugene, adding that if he wasn't awake within the hour, it wouldn't be good.
He wasn't awake.
I sank to my knees beside him and touched his clammy face, gasping at how it felt.
"Oh, Eugene...I'm so sorry, honey..." I whispered hoarsely, burying my face in my hands and praying for him to wake up and be okay. My insides twisted and knotted until I felt nauseated and scared; and I hated myself.
About twenty agonizingly long minutes later, he came to. He cleared his throat and I looked up to see his eyes were open.
"Eugene!" I exclaimed quietly, and he looked around for a few seconds before looking towards me...and giving me that grin of his.
This time, that grin was like a knife to the stomach. He immediately tried to sit up, and I gasped, leaning over him to help him lie back down.
"No, no, no, honey....lay down and ta-take it easy." I told him, but he half-sat anyway.
"Compromise?" he asked, and I forced a chuckle, wondering how he could be so nice - and still have his sixth-sense-teasing-ability, right after coming to again.
"Okay. We'll compromise, honey," I whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sore anywhere?"
He thought for a moment. "My back kind of hurts, but that's it. C'mere."
Holding an arm out, he invited me to sit beside him and let him wrap an arm around my shoulders. He probably knew I was terrified.
"That's okay," I told him. That would only make things worse, if I did that. He gave me a surprised look. "Um...you know...what I said up there? I didn't mean an ounce of it. I just am so used to denying anything Zelia or Punzie says, that it just came out and...y-you coulda died because of my...stupidity. I am so, so sorry. And I don't even deserve to be here with you right now!" I bit back tears again.
"It's not your fault. I was hurrying back to my shelf, and I didn't think about that stupid alarm clock. That's all. It's mostly my fault for not taking it slow down to my shelf."
"But it was because of me, that you were hurrying!"
He reached for my arm and pulled me over to sit beside him, putting an arm tightly around my shoulders - minding Pascal, of course. "It's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't say you won't, because I know you, and you will." He gave me a quick kiss in the hair, and it was like someone was rubbing salt into my earlier, proverbial knife wound.
"Eugene, I-"
I broke off when Tangled Fan came in.
"Oh, good! You're awake!" She said, and then she commenced checking him over. When she was finished, she scooped both of us up. "You're good to go! No problems. Let me know if you get any headaches, though, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks," Eugene told her, and then she set us down on the floor when she got to the bedroom.
I started to lose my nerve, and I hoped Eugene had forgotten about me starting to say anything.
Right. Eugene, forgetting about something I was about to say?
"So..what were you gonna say back there?" He asked, turning to look at me.
"Well..y-you know I love you, right?"
He gave me that grin. "Yeah. You know I love you, right?" He joked, reaching over to pull me close to his side, still walking.
That was all I could take.
I froze, and he almost knocked me down, because he kept walking, his arm securely around my shoulders. When he realized I'd stopped, he turned and tried to take my hands into his, asking what was up. I sobbed, pulling my hands away and letting the tears roll down my face.
His face held pure horror. "Wh-why? What'd I do? I'm sorry for-"
"No! It wasn't you! It's me being a-a clumsy, awkward fool! I almost killed you, Eugene! You could have died today, falling like you did! And it was all my fault! I-it's probably in your best interest, anyhow. Y-you don't really w-want to be around an idiot like me, do you?"
"Yes. Yes, I do, Rapunzel, I want to be around you! And it was because I was hurrying, that I fell. I told you not to b-beat yourself up about it! Please, Rapunzel...don't do this-"
The whole time I was saying this, he was begging me not to break up with him. I wished he'd stop.
"Please, honey...I love you so much! I can't...I just can't be without you. Please. We can work this out...I don't care about any of your awkwardness or anything...I just need you. Please don't do this...you've been my only friend-"
"And you're mine, Eugene...but you're better off without-"
He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't you get it? You're everything to me. I love you so much, a-and....we've known each other since September and I'm not getting hurt around every turn. This was just one of those uncontrollable things that happens sometimes, and-"
"But-"
"Hear me out, Rapunzel. Okay?" I silenced, and he continued. "And you can't blame yourself for it. If anything, blame that good-for-nothing alarm clock! Don't do this, please. If you do...just know that it'll be the worst, most painful thing you could ever do to me, and I'll never get over you. Even if I were to stay with you and get into stickier situations, as you call them, they'd never amount to what it'll be like if you do this. I'll never get over you," he repeated adamantly.
"You will," I told him simply. "Everyone does. You'll find another girl and she'll be beautiful AND perfect, and you'll get married a-and be a perfect husband and maybe you'll even a-adopt some kids and y-you'll be a wonderful dad." I realized how much I wanted to be that girl, but I shook that thought off, because he deserved so much more than little old me.
"You deserve better than me," I tried to pull away, sobbing as chills rained down my arms, but he wrapped me into a hug. I fought it, pushing and twisting myself in an attempt to get away, because this was only making things worse, but he braced himself against my sobbing, frantic shoves, until I finally gave up. He kept me in that hug until my shoulders stopped heaving. Poor Pascal was probably getting the ride of his life on my shoulder.
When I was done, he didn't let go until I pulled away. His face held the most sorrowful expression that I think I've ever seen, and his eyes were rimmed with red.
"Please," he breathed. "Don't...don't leave."
My lips felt numb. "I'm so sorry, Eugene." I mumbled. "I...I really am. But it'll be the best for you."
He gave me the most defeated look, and then I slipped away from him.
I only made it a few steps before he grabbed my hand again. "W-what'll you do about Pascal?" He asked, and I froze.
I couldn't take him back with me, of course. And taking him down every day for Eugene would be out of the question. I slowly took him off my shoulder with my other hand and stepped towards him before I held Pascal out to him. "Take him."
A tear streaked down his cheek. "No, Rapunzel, no. I won't."
"Please. You're the only one I trust him to, and I can't take him back. He likes you, Eugene. He'll be fine. Don't cry about it, either. Please, don't cry about this." I told him, impulsively reaching to wipe his cheek. He grabbed my hand again and held it tightly as soon as it left his face. His features hardened, and he gave me a hard, pensive stare.
"What are you gonna do, Rapunzel? Shut yourself out from the whole world, just because you let something slip out of your mouth that you didn't mean to say, let alone didn't mean at all, anyway?! I'm sorry, but that is just absurd!" He said, but he took Pascal. He didn't let go of my hand, though. He peered down into my face and softened as he realized how he'd just acted. "I'm sorry, but it's true. Please don't do this, honey. I don't know what I'll do w-without you."
I gently slipped my hand away from his and walked away. Hardest thing I ever did. I could see him start to disappear back into the shell he had abandoned after we had met, and I felt like I could throw up, I was so upset with myself.
When I got back, I told Anna what I'd done. She told me I was stupid for doing it, and I agreed. And Zelia and Punzie were simply thrilled.
I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life.
But I couldn't take it back.
What have I done?
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