Hey, Guys...

Hey, guys. 
I'm sorry I haven't posted in, like, an incredibly long time...!  Before I get into exactly WHY I haven't been posting as much lately, I want to give you all a heads up. 
As much as I hate to say it, I'm not going to be posting much anymore, if at all.  After the events of the past few weeks, I've decided that I should focus my time on my family as opposed to blogging.  Yes, you guys are practically my family as well, but...well, you'll understand why.   
I've talked it over with Eugene, Belle, and Zarina, and they're supporting me in my decision  - I wanted to make sure it wasn't a knee-jerk reaction to the past couple of weeks.

I may be posting again at one point and on special occasions, but for now, I just want to devote all my time on family. 

In THIS POST, I mentioned those strange Mattel dolls, right?  The ones that were supposedly Audrey and Jordan's adoptive parents, sometime before us?
Well...I was right to feel uneasy about them. 

October 31st - yes, Halloween - I woke up and, like most every morning, I went to check on the kiddos before going back to bed until they got up. 
Audrey and Jordan were missing.  Right out of their beds.  Gone. 
Casey and Zach were sleeping soundly, still in their own beds.  The other two were gone. 
I hope I never get that awful feeling in my stomach ever again.  I can't even put it into words, how it felt to wake up and see practically half of my entire family MISSING.  I can hardly even write about it. 

So of course, I woke Eugene up frantically.  He, half asleep, laughed it off and said they were probably planning a Halloween prank.  I repeated my sentence: "Audrey and Jordan are missing!"  and he came to his senses quickly. 

We wasted no time waking everyone else up, asking if they'd seen or heard something through the night.  Zelia was livid.  I feel that she, given the chance, would have happily torn those two Mattel dolls limb for limb.  She might have had to stand in line. 
Ray was angry at himself.  He, for some reason, thought it his fault - being a light sleeper, he thought he should have heard something, woken up, and caught them in the act.  Zelia had to talk him down.  I haven't seen him so furious in a long time. 
Fitz left to tell Zarina, and by the time the both of them (and Belle) came to the table, Casey and Zachary were up.  We explained the situation to Casey, and then Zarina told me she would stay behind with Casey and Zach. 
So then the search commenced. 
The search party consisted of Eugene, Zelia, Ray, Fitz, Belle, and I.  You would think we would either run into Tangled Fan during this time or run into those two awful dolls - I don't even know their names - but we didn't.  All day, we searched and searched for our girls.  We didn't find them.

For almost an entire week, we hunted for them.  We caught a glimpse of the female Barbie slipping off somewhere, but we couldn't catch her in time.  By then, Eugene's hip joints were just absolutely shot.  He had to stay back, and Zarina volunteered to take his place.  He watched Casey and Zach while we continued the search. 

FINALLY, we found them.  They had escaped, and Audrey had somehow managed to carry Jordan all the way across the room.  We found them hiding UNDER the shelving unit; she told me they'd been kept in the lowest drawer in Tangled Fan's dresser, the one she never uses.  None of us had considered looking in there; those drawers are nearly impossible to drag open for us dolls.  Anyway, Audrey was scared and hurt; Jordan was screaming.  We rushed them home. 
When they were safe and rested back on the table, they explained why they had taken them:  They had wanted to take them back not because they loved them, but because they 'owned' them.  She elaborated that she only acted excited about them when we ran across them on our day out because she was afraid to show any other emotion, thinking that they might come after them right then and there.   Safe to say, the next time we saw Tangled Fan, she told us she'd put them in a box in the attic for good. 

Yeesh.
That's the extremely compressed version.  I've never been happier to see them in my life.  Eugene's slowly on the mend.  They're home safe, and I'm pretty sure that we'll never let ANY of our kids out of sight again, not even at night xD  I can't believe them.  (The couple, not the kids.) 

I apologize for such a condensed post, but I, in all honesty, don't remember enough about to post in great detail about it.  All I know is that we were searching from sunup to sundown, desperate, and emotions were running high. It was just a blur. 

But anyway - before I start crying - I just wanted to thank you guys.  You have stuck with me through all of the absolutely INSANE year I've had the blog.  I love each and every one of you, and cannot thank you enough for following the blog to read about my - and our - insane, tangled, and emotional roller coaster rides that are bound to happen on a day-to-day basis. 
(For example: In eleven months, we've ended up with four kiddos, moved shelves countless times, made friends, lost friends, fallen and received injuries, gotten knocked out to the point of not remembering your own husband, had a baby when it's basically impossible for any other Disney doll (aside from Ariels) to do so...did I miss anything??  Probably...)
I hope we can get the time to breathe for, say, ten minutes before the next disaster?  If that ever happens, I'll post to let anyone still watching the blog know :D 
Thank you again, and...since Zachary is demanding some time with his mother (based on the loud cries and questions of  'Daddy can hold you too, right?  What's wrong, bud?'), I suppose I should stop now before either I'm a blubbering mess and have to explain to Eugene why I'm crying, or Zachary starts a full-blown hissy. 
See you all sometime, and thank you so much.  Of course, I'll leave the blog open in case you want to see old posts.  [:

Flynn...Again...and A Talk.

I'm going to link Zarina's post HERE so you can read about the changes Tangled Fan made.  We have the entire table, now; except Logan, Ray, and Fitz live on the table, too.  They're pretty good, though; Logan usually spends his time out and about, but Ray sticks around with us.  Fitz, for some reason, feels the need to help with the kids.  It's so funny - he was so volatile of a doll when he was "Hans", but now, since he's been out of the box (under the name of Fitz...it's so strange how different the JC Penney's dolls changed!) he's been so kind and shy.  It's amazing!  Audrey's really taken to him. 

Anyway, with that said...Flynn finally got what's been about a year in the making. 
All week, since the 31st, to be exact, he's been harassing me.  Calling me horrible things, saying I'm worthless, saying that Eugene's an idiot and that if he had half of a brain, he would've ignored me like the rest of doll population did back then, saying negative things about our kids and our parenting skills...You name it.  I didn't tell Eugene because...I mean, seriously.  He's probably sick and tired of hearing about complaints over a guy I knew a year ago.  I'M tired of hearing from a guy I knew a year ago!  Ugh.  Regardless.   
I went off on him, after I got a message reading only this:
"Too bad you didn't die when you were delivering your baby.  It's a shame nothing happened to your child, as well.  Such a useless doll, since he's blind.  Of course, coming from a doll like you, he couldn't be anywhere near perfect, now, could he?"  
I found this at about ten AM this morning. 
I couldn't go off on him then, because the kids were up and I was semi-busy with Zachary himself, but once they settled down for their four PM naps, you bet I sent him an email. 
I told him everything I'd ever wanted to tell him.  Maybe I ended up a little harsh, but...I'm sick of it.  Between him and Ariel, I've been experiencing that awful feeling of worthlessness again, and I can't bum around with that.  I've got four kiddos, and I can't be distracted from them, especially over something as STUPID as their opinions!  It makes me mad that I fall into their traps.  But regardless, I'll stop ranting about that and give you the message I wrote him.
"Flynn, I don't know what you want, but you will not get it.  If you're trying to break me, it won't happen, I won't let it.  I was wrong to love you, I knew that as soon as I left the old place.  You might think that I can't remember all the things that you did, but I can.  I can remember almost everything again, which is great.
You know, you are nothing to me.  Your opinions....they can't affect me as well as they did before.  Why?  I have a family.  I'm not alone.  I have a husband who helps me every step of the way.  You might think he doesn't hold a candle to you, but the reverse is true:  YOU don't hold a candle to HIM.  I'd prefer it if you stop insulting him. 
If you send me one more thing about my children, I'm going to get in contact with your wife.  I don't know how, but I will.  You might think she already knows you inside and out, but I knew you longer than she did.  Remember, I can tell her all the things you never wanted her to know.  I know she doesn't like me, but you don't want me to open that can of worms, now, do you? 
Oh, and that little bit about Zachary being imperfect, and 'too bad he didn't die because he's blind'?  He's just fine the way he is.  We love him, and we'll never let that get in the way of how we treat or feel about him.  He's our son. 
Sure, call me whatever you want, say I'm a freak, a loser, an ugly piece of plastic, the most abhorrent doll you ever knew, tell me you wished I had died....but don't you dare say one word about my children or my husband.  Thank you.  If you're planning on emailing back, don't.  I'll figure out your wife's email address next." 
When I punched send, I was filled with a tumult of emotions:  mostly anger, irritation, relief, and more anger...I took a deep breath and huffed it back out, trying to calm myself. 
Eugene popped his head in behind the cutout.  "Hey, is something wrong?" 
"Hm?  Oh!  No, no...nothing's wrong.  What's up?"  I asked, trying to change the subject.  I let the tablet lean up against the bed and looked up at him. 
He strode over and sat down beside me.  "I could hear you huffing around, and I was worried that I'd said something.  I wasn't entirely sure WHAT I'd said that could've set you off, but I wanted to make sure nonetheless." 
I gave him a halfhearted smile.  "No...you didn't make me mad, don't worry." 
"Then what's the matter?  I know something is," he told me.  "I've been wanting to talk to you all week, because I know something's been bothering you, but we just haven't had the privacy to lately." 
I sighed.  I wanted to tell him, but I didn't at the same time...have you ever felt that way?  "Um...Flynn's been emailing me again.  A lot...since the 31st of September."  I bit my lip and paused, looking down at my lap before I spilled it. 

I told him every detail about every little thing.  When I was done, he shook his head. "I can't believe him.  Do you want me to email him?" 
"No.  I sent him a...heh...a lengthy email telling him what I've been wanting to tell him for a really long time."  I sighed again. ( I'm starting to think that today, sighing is my choice way of expressing my emotions.  Sigh.)  "Although...if I would have told him EVERYTHING I thought about him..."
He chuckled.  "That's an email I'd like to see." 
"I just hope I didn't come off as mean." 
My hubby shook his head.  "After all he did to you - after all he's still doing to you--and you're still concerned about being mean?  You're...you're something else.  If I were you, I would've broken his heart and crushed his soul." 
"Maybe I should have.  I'm too soft." 
"No, you're just kind.  You know what it feels like to be treated that way, and no matter who it is, you don't want them to feel the same way.  Right?" 
I shrugged.  "I guess....I should stop being like that.  But there are a lot of things I need to stop being like--"
"Like what?" 
I snorted.  "Have you looked at me lately?  I'm a slob.  I'm still clumsy.  I'm too soft, and if I were harder on people, maybe they'd leave me alone.  I leave a lot to be desired in the appearance department.  I'm too insecure, sensitive, and I can't let things roll off my back...everyone's right about me."   My husband looked so upset at that point.  I felt terrible for obviously making him feel that way.   "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even said anything...I-"
He shook his head.  "No, babe.  Don't feel that way.  I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you sooner-"
"It's fine," I looked down at my lap, holding my breath for a few seconds before letting it all out in a big rush, waiting for a response.  When he remained silent, I bit my lip, wondering if I'd finally annoyed him too much.  But then he spoke up. 
"Sweet girl...everything you said about yourself is just...it's not important.  First of all, everyone is wrong about you.  Yes, they think you're a klutz.  Yes, they think you're less than impressive in the looks and dress departments.  Yes, they think you're too lax, and therefore, they can say anything and have you feel like crap.  But they're wrong, Rapunzel.  They're so wrong...I wish you could see yourself from my eyes.  You're not too lax.  You're one of the strongest people I know.  Sure, you break down every once in awhile, but you're so strong.  You carry a lot of things around with you; all these nasty comments, plus the daily adventures of being a mother and wife...you're strong.  You only break after you get a huge load of all this rudeness and childish behavior piled on, like now.  I knew something was wrong, but to have you put up with that and not even cry or say anything once?!  And yes you're a little clumsy, but it's okay.  I am too; everyone has their oopsies every once in awhile.  You say you're too sensitive, but you know what?  If you're insensitive, then you're like Ariel.  And gosh, Rapunzel, you're so beautiful.  If I were unmarried and had the choice between you and...and Ariel or...or Belle, or...I don't know, Emma...I'd choose you.  I'd always choose you."  he took a deep breath and cupped my face in his hands for a second.  "And do you really think I care how you dress?  You're fine." 
I bit my lip.  "But Ariel and Flynn both said that I was so ugly and dressed crappily.  I felt bad, of course, because...I mean...I don't know.  I'm sure going from a guy's point of view, Ariel's style is much--"
"Ariel's style is way overbearing...yeesh," he shuddered, trying to get a smile out of me.  It didn't work.  "Do you think I'd choose skirts slit way up the sides and seriously low-slung dresses over how my best gal dresses?  Modesty is beautiful, remember," he winked. 
I shrugged.  "I know..I'm just being--I don't even know.  Weird." 
"No, not weird.  It's pretty normal for individuals to let negativity get to them.  That's why you have me,"
"I'm sorry, though.  I hate having to load all this onto you.  You shouldn't have to give me these pep talks every time someone says something bad to me," I licked my lips and looked back down to my hands, which were clasped on my lap. 
He thought for a second, but the next thing I knew, he was gathering me into his lap, cradling me in his arms.  "That's right.  I wouldn't have to, but it's my choice.  There's nothing I would rather do, nowhere I'd rather be, and nobody I'd rather be with.  You're everything to me, and I'm fine with giving you those pep talks every once in awhile.  Okay?" 
I teared up.  Of course I knew that, but I still felt bad for making him have to listen to all my troubles.  Nodding, I tried to keep my tears from spilling.  "Okay.  I know..."
He bumped his forehead against mine, kissing the tip of my nose.  "I love you.  And please...if Flynn starts emailing you again, let me know right away, okay?" 
I nodded.  "I will.  Love you,"
He gave my shoulders a squeeze, which made my heart squeeze, too.  I didn't deserve a guy like him.  We just sat quietly for a few minutes, and he was the first to speak up again.  "Are you feeling any better about anything?" 
I nodded, pulling away enough to meet his eyes.  "Yeah...thank you.  Thanks for putting up with me,"
He chuckled quietly.  "My pleasure, m'lady." 
That got a grin out of me.  "I haven't heard that one in awhile." 
"Mmmhm...and I got a grin to boot.  Bonus points?" 
I laughed quietly.  "You're awful." 
"I know--" he broke off when we heard a faint whimper:  Jordan. 
I pulled away and stood up.  "Duty calls.  Thank you, again, Eugene."
"Anytime, beautiful.  But-wait.  Can't I even steal a kiss before we tend to the kiddos?" 
I shook my head, but I was more than happy to pull him to his feet and give him a quick, soft kiss before we went to get Jordan up.