This morning, I woke up shortly before Eugene was up. My fears were still there, lingering in the back of my mind, not allowing me to enjoy the few minutes of peace to myself. When my husband woke up, he gave me a look of absolute adoration, as if he was still just beyond pleased with himself that he was married to me. I didn't understand it. I was a mess, why would anyone love me?
"Good morning, gorgeous. What a nice sight to wake up to," he gave me a wink and that special grin. For the first time ever, that grin didn't make me smile, and it didn't make me get the butterflies in my stomach. What it DID do, however, was make me even more scared. I was letting him--Flynn--get to me. I couldn't do that. I couldn't-- "Hey...what's wrong?"
"Just...I don't see how my ratty hair and crusty eyes pass off as gorgeous," I forced a joke, hoping he wouldn't question me.
He chuckled quietly a moment before he asked how I was feeling this morning.
I feel like I'm being enveloped in fear. Like my mind is being consumed by his message...just like he said it would.
"I'm fine," I lied, adding a smile for authenticity.
He gave me a doubtful look, but he let it slide. Thankfully, Jordan woke up, alerting us by a few pleasant babbles, so I immediately sat up.
"I-I guess I need to get dressed and everything. You okay with Jordan?"
"Yup," he said, kissing my cheek before leaving to get Jordan.
I took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Pull yourself together, Rapunzel. You're being ridiculous! Pull it together..." I muttered to myself as I dressed - not in my normal purple one, but in another Rapunzel dress that was more magenta, and glittery; the dress I wore the day Eugene and I got back together - and brushed my hair, trying to make myself presentable.
When I came out, I took Jordan from Eugene. She quickly picked up on my tension, though, and started crying almost as soon as I cradled her in my arms. Let me tell you, the feeling that went through me right then...I was such a mess that I couldn't even hold my baby girl! As chills raced up and down my arms, I fought back tears when I told Eugene to take her back.
"Hey. It's alright," he said...I'm not sure if he was directing it at me or the baby.
After the girls and Zelia were up, Eugene gave Jordan to Zelia and spoke to her for a few minutes before coming over to me and gently putting his hand on my elbow.
"We'll see you guys in a bit, okay?"
"Take as long as you need," Zelia said, giving me a concerned look. "I may take the girls for a walk."
As Casey and Audrey excitedly started chattering at the prospect of a walk, we both left.
"Eugene..where are we going?" I asked.
"For a walk -- unless you don't want to?"
"No, I think a walk's a great idea," I gave him a small smile, and we continued to the floor.
As soon as we got to the floor, he did a double take before asking me to stop. I asked why, and he came over and picked something off of the tip of my nose.
"You had glitter on your nose," he chuckled, giving the tip of my nose a kiss before we continued walking.
"Well, um...thanks," I said.
I was horribly absentminded, and we walked in dead, uncomfortable silence for awhile; at least, until he stopped me.
He put a hand on my shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed. For the first time in a long time, he seemed almost bashful. "What can I do?"
"Huh? I'm fine. I promise," I said, flashing another faux-smile.
"You don't...miss him? I mean, I personally can't see how you could miss him, since he seems like a jerk, but I do know that feelings are hard to bury, even if someone does something rather nasty to you."
"What?! No! I don't miss him, he was such a jerk. I should've seen it, but I didn't. No, I don't miss him one bit!"
"Okay. I thought maybe you were wishing that things had turned out differently, and...yeah...because you seem kinda distracted, is all. I'm sorry--that was incredibly dumb of me to think that," he ducked his head, which was turning tomato red.
"No...it's fine. I'm sorry, too - sorry I'm acting so weird that I made you think that. But no -- you're...he doesn't hold a candle to you. You're sweet, caring, loving, adorable, funny, and honest. He's coarse, selfish, manipulative, and a liar. And this is like, really personal and awkward, but the only reason I was able to fall asleep last night was because you held me. I don't know...just you having your arms around my shoulders made me feel safe. Silly, I know. But anyway, ah...don't worry about me missing him."
He looked at me, trying to suppress a smile, before he slipped an arm around me and pulled me snug to his side. "Well, if it makes you feel better...what a shame, I have to have my arm around my sweet wife."
And he did manage to get a giggle out of me with that one. "Hmm. Horrible, I know." I slipped an arm around his waist, too, and stood on tiptoe so I could give him a quick kiss. Grinning, he gave my shoulders a squeeze.
"You know...don't be afraid to talk to me, okay? You were threatened in a way that most dolls never are. You can't just keep it to yourself, or it'll devour you. I'm not about to let my wife get devoured by threats made by such a childish individual." I met his eyes, and he kissed my forehead. "I mean that, now.."
"Okay," I nodded, and he cleared his throat.
"So...do you want to go listen to some songs for awhile, or read?"
I knew he was trying to do something to get my mind off of Flynn's threats, so I played along. "Sure -- it'd be fun to listen to some songs,"
He gave my shoulders another squeeze, and then we went to get Tangled Fan's MP3 player, which we had never checked out.
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