Sunday, June 1, 2014

Curiosity killed the cat -- continuation; Eugene

It's Eugene. 
If you didn't read the post before this one, you'll want to read it. 
Yesterday evening, I obsessed over trying to figure out how to explain to Rapunzel about her past.  I knew she'd fight me about it.  I could hear her talking to herself on the other side of the table. 
"...don't know why I was such an idiot.  Should've known...he was so sweet, though...I'm worthless...what did--"
Okay, that was it. 
"Rapunzel, you are not worthless.  I know you can hear me, because I can hear you...please, don't think of yourself in tha--"
She gasped.  "H-how...Ohh, Eugene, just leave me alone, okay?  G-go back to your shelf, or wherever your kids and wife are at!  Why are you still even.."
"I can't go see my girls right now, but...you want me to go see my wife?" 
"Yes!  Please, just stop eavesdropping!" 
Do you really want me to go see my wife?  Okay.  Done.  I stepped over to her side of the table.  She gave me an alarmed stare, freezing in her tracks -- apparently, she'd been pacing.  "G-go away!" 
"You told me to go see my wife.  Technically, I'm listening to you," I tried to meet her eyes, but she kept her eyes pointed at the ground. 
"I don't know what you're trying to do, and I don't know what delusion you are living in, but I am not your wife, Eugene.  Please, just...just leave,"
I hated how, when I didn't heed her request, she started backing away from me, giving me a look of pure fear. 
"I-I...I wouldn't hurt you, Rapunzel, I promise.  You don't think--"
"You promised a lot of things," she choked, and then I, out of habit, strode over to pull her close.  By then, she was backed into a corner, and she started crying even more.  "Don't you dare touch me!" 
"Okay, okay...I'm sorry...I'm sorry.  Look, I'll stay across the table from you if that helps," I told her quietly.  I was just messing things up right and left, wasn't I?...
She took a shuddering breath.  "What would help is if you left,"
Trying to not let that get to me, I bit my lip.  "How's this -- I'll offer you a deal.  You'll listen to what I have to say, and then I'll leave. You'll think what you want about what I have to say, but after I tell it to you, I'm gone.  If I know you -- which, I do...better than you know yourself -- you'll come around." 
"I'm not interested in anything you have to say.  Look, if you're worried that I'll tell your wife...She needs to know, but if I promise not to find her and tell her, will you leave me be?" 
"This isn't...honey, you're--"
"Don't call me that," she snapped. 
"Okay, okay, okay....just...hear me out, please?" 
"I already told you the answer to that, and my answer is no!  I'm not interested in being fed any more lies!"  I knew she was starting to fall apart...I could see it in her eyes.  I hated pushing her this far, but I had to. 
"Then I'm not leaving." 
"Why are you doing this to me??  Please, just...just leave me alone...I-I..you're scaring me.  Please, just--" she was sobbing.  She didn't know what to do or where to go -- I could tell by the way she was weaving back and forth and clamping an arm around her stomach.  "Ohh, fine!  I'll listen to your stupid lies, as long as you keep this promise."
The promise she wanted me to keep was to stay away from her. 
Well, at the rate I was going, I'd end up doing that anyway. 
So I dove in.  "What I want you to do now is to go on the blog and read the post titled "Yesterday and Today".  It's from Thursday, April 17th.  The whole, entire thing.  Please,"

Despite the look she gave me, she turned Tangled Fan's tablet on and did as I asked her.
 I watched her read.
When she first began, her eyes scanned the words quickly, and obviously, nothing was sinking in. 
But then, she gasped.  "I-I remember...I remember this.  This was when I woke up...you were hovering over me with such a happy expression.  What...do you mean...do you mean I--"
"Like I've been trying to tell you, you were my wife.  Do you see now?  Once Zelia told you what she did, I had to play along.  We all did.  I was...today I was going to tell you, but then you left and...yeah.  We've spent almost two months trying to get you to remember, and it...I guess it hasn't been working.  Do you see now?  Do you see why I didn't want to leave you alone?" 
She was sobbing.  I wanted to pull her close...tell her everything was going to be okay...tell her that I loved her...but I didn't.  "Y-you....we were married?  The three orphan girls..they were our children?  It's all true?" 
"I promise from the bottom of my heart.  I know that you think I'm lying, and you won't trust me, but I promise you it's all true.  Please, don't cry..."
She nodded several times, scrubbing at her eyes.  "Wh...how many other posts are there?" 
"There's quite a few.  You've been here since last September.  September 13th, to be exact," I smiled as I remembered the first time we'd met.  I told her everything about how we'd met, happy to reminisce. 
When I had finished, however, she looked sick.  "I think I'm going to be sick..."
"Why?"  I asked, alarmed.  She put a hand over her mouth and another over her stomach, shaking her head.  "Was it something I did?  I'm s-"
"No!...no.  I just...I just can't remember.  When you were talking, it sounded familiar, but I can't remember.  I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 
"But it doesn't matter!  I'll help you remember everything!  If you just give me a chance...I'll help you remember.  I-I...I couldn't live without you.  And the girls...the girls couldn't, either.  But if you choose not to...if you don't want to resume our marriage after all this..." I trailed off.  I couldn't even think about that.  I honest to goodness couldn't.  She nodded silently, staring down at the tablet with her hand over her mouth again.  "If you need time to think things over, that's fine, too.  While you're at it, read through the blog from start to finish.  Do you want me to stick around, or..?"
She shook her head again.  "N-no...you're right, I need time to think things over by myself.  I'm sorry." 
"It's okay."  I stood up and quietly went to the divider before I turned back around to look at my girl, who was curled with her knees to her chest, staring at the tablet with a look of horror on her face.  "Oh...Rapunzel?" 
"Y-yes?"  she looked up, almost seeming as though I'd snapped her out of some  trance. 
"I love you.  No matter what, I always will...okay?  And I mean it.  Whatever you're thinking...whatever you're wondering...just know that I love you, it's real, I always did and I always will." 
She choked, but when I started to go back over to her, she waved me away and asked me to leave. 
 So...I did. 

I haven't heard or seen her at all today...it's really scaring me.  Actually, I'm terrified.  I don't want to lose her...I can't.  It's all my fault...why did I have to wait?  Why'd I have to screw up and panic when she confronted me? 

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