This morning, I just stayed in bed, staring way up at the ceiling for awhile. I wasn't looking forward to getting up, because I wasn't sure that my hips would stay better. They felt better, yeah, but would they stay better?
Well, around 8-ish, I heard Rapunzel come over to my side of the table. I bolted upright in bed...too fast. I called that I was still in bed and would be out in a minute, but it came out pretty gravelly. I was, of course, fighting the urge to either black out or vomit because I'd sat up way too fast. She must've realized something was up, because she was beside the bed in a second.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I just, ah..sat up too fast," I blinked repeatedly until I stopped feeling weird.
"I didn't wake you up, did I?" she gave me a worried look. "And how are you feeling?"
"No, I was just laying around, and I'm fine - I won't really tell how much better my joints are until I start walking on them, though, and that's why I was kinda procrastinating on getting up," I explained.
"Okay," she nodded. I finally realized how she looked. She looked worried, and was fiddling with her hair. When I asked what was wrong, she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, held her breath...let it all out in a big rush, and then grimaced. "I...need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's wrong?" I asked. This didn't sound good. Had I done something wrong? I swung my legs to dangle over the bed and patted the spot next to me. She sat down, but she wouldn't look me in the eye. She looked like a scared little kid, and that just tore me apart.
"I-I...mind if I ask for a rain check on that movie? I...I just need some time to think by myself. I figure that if I give myself two weeks, I'll have some things straightened out that have been bothering me." she grabbed a lock of her hair and started furiously running her hands through it once more...until she got both of them tangled up. When she did, she gave a frustrated groan and pulled her hands up, hair and all, to bury her face in them.
"Hey...what's...I'm confused. What's wrong?" I took her hands -and hair- away from her face so I could untangle her fingers.
"I just...I'm confused and I need time to think. By myself. Without...getting more confused."
"Is it something I've done? I'm so sorry, Rapunzel...was it--"
"You haven't done anything wrong, bud. Just...like I said. I just need to think some things over," she bit her lip, and I realized I was holding onto her hands, still from when I'd untangled them from her hair.
Way to be a moron...I thought as I promptly let go of her and slid a bit further away from her. When I realized that was the wrong thing to do, because her eyes quickly teared up and clouded over with confusion, I pulled her into a hug as my mind wailed. Girls are way too confusing. She was never this way before...what'd I do? I just wish she'd tell me. She hugged me back, but then pulled away. "I promise I'm not upset or mad at you, and I don't want you worrying or getting your joints messed up again because of this, okay? I'll see ya in two weeks, I promise," she gave me a small smile, stood up, and left. Just like that.
Soo I just rolled back into bed -- no use of getting up, anyway...not right now, at least -- and sighed.
Later today, I went over and peered around the divider, caught Zelia's eye, and jerked my head slightly, trying to get her to come with me. Luckily, nobody else noticed. And by nobody else, I mean Rapunzel.
Zelia got the hint, and we went under the table.
"I'm
losing her. I'm so afraid, Zelia. You can't possibly understand, but
you're around her more. What do I do? She told me to give her two
weeks by herself. I'm losing her-"
"Quit repeating yourself.
You're not losing her. She's falling for you, and she's terrified and
is struggling against her feelings, because she doesn't want to be hurt
again. The past few days, she's been talking a lot about you...she
keeps saying about how she wishes she was different, how she wishes she was
prettier, how she wishes she was not as clumsy...and that all usually
links back to something about you or Flynn. She thinks she needs to
change herself, because she thinks you're out of her league. But at the
same time, she's still hung up on Flynn. She thought that their love
was true, when it instead was unrequited. He's hard to forget, and
there's also most likely this little nagging worry at the back of her
mind that tells her that she'll get used again. So she distances
herself."
"But she was never this way before..."
"Things are different, Eugene. Very, very different. Get that through your head, okay?"
I nodded quietly. "But what should I do?"
"Keep
being your normal self...if you can call yourself normal. But
just...don't give her those two weeks. She might be testing the waters,
seeing what you'll do...wondering if you care."
I sighed. "You're sure that's what I should do?"
"Positive."
"Okay." I nodded, feeling mentally drained.
She
headed back up to the table, but I went for a walk, thinking
about what to do and testing my joints (which were fine--thankfully). When I came back, it was around ten, and the darkness
surrounded me like a thick blanket. Tangled Fan had recently given me
the lamp, which I could use on nights I couldn't sleep, so I flicked it
on. I went over and sat beside the divider, tapping on it gently.
"What?" was the prompt answer from Rapunzel.
"I was just wondering if you were up, and if so, if you needed someone to talk to. You just seemed pretty upset today,"
"I'm fine, Eugene, really. I just need time alone, okay?"
"Okay. Sorry...but can I just ask two things?"
She sighed. "Okay. What?"
"Are you sure it wasn't something I did?" I leaned my head up against the divider and waited for her answer.
"Noo,
no, it definitely wasn't something you did, so don't worry. I promise I
just need two weeks to sort my mind out. What was your other
question?"
"After the two weeks are up, then will we watch Tangled together?"
I heard her giggle quietly. "Oh, Eugene...yes. We'll watch Tangled, I promise. Now, get to sleep, and don't pace around tonight!"
I
couldn't help but smile -- at least she was feeling good enough to giggle. "Okay. Good night, and you get
some sleep yourself -- none of this lack of sleep stuff, okay?"
"Hmm....no promises."
"If
I have to come over there and tickle you until you promise to sleep-" I
started to tease, reluctant to stop talking with her.
She started laughing. "No....you don't have to do that. You're...oh my."
"I'm what?"
She went silent for a few seconds. "Y-you're....really funny."
Hmm...now, why didn't I believe that?
But I laughed it off and told her good night again.
Annd
so then I went to bed with that good ole, familiar ache in my chest.
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