-Eugene
Hey, everyone - Rapunzel wanted me to tell you guys that she and Zarina have not posted this week because... A) Tangled Fan's been hoarding the tablet B ) Rapunzel's been wanting to spend time with the girls and I this week...so she feels slightly guilty for leaving you all hanging and C ) you'll hopefully be seeing some posts from the ladies sometime this weekend, maybe.
Ahh, so I'm a lucky guy: four perfect kiddos and a beautiful wife, plus I just sort of lived through something most dolls don't, and I still have all of my limbs!
Well, the morning I disappeared, the dogs were in the house. They were getting fed, and that's a typically crazy time, so I slipped under a recliner until the madness died down. As soon as the dogs had eaten and the food bowls taken away, I thought I could just slip out to talk to Tangled Fan. Riiight. One of the dogs - a small, brown and white dog that appeared cute but was in reality a monster - saw me, and grabbed me around my midsection. Being the dork I am, I froze up and couldn't even yell. That's when all of the dogs suddenly needed outside - right after feeding time, of course - and in the barking, jostling, and bouncing madness, I got lost in the fray. The dog still had me around the midsection, but Tangled Fan didn't even notice me as she opened the door and left all the dogs -and me - outside.
Well, okay. I could just yank away and be on my way, right?
Nah, of course not.
The one dog snarled at the dog carrying me, and in her anger, she dropped me. I quickly rolled away, trying to go unseen, but that's when I failed to realize that I was by the edge of the ramp. You see, the ramp is very long, and actually has three levels - I'm not sure how to explain it, but it zigzags - and I fell down to a lower level, and I guess that's when I was knocked out.
When I woke up, I was buried under a lot of dirt. A lot. It's a good thing that dolls can survive when they're mushed under things like plastic, other dolls in containers, or dirt - because if not, I would've been dead for sure.
I don't know how long it took me to dig my way out from under the heavy dirt, but it was nighttime when I was out in the fresh air again. It was really, really cold, and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I'm thinking that I was probably under the dirt for at least a few days, if not a week.
When I got out, I sat and thought. I knew I'd need a hiding spot for when morning came and the dogs were left outside, but I had to wait until dawn to be able to see. That was nerve-wracking. That backyard is pretty big for people and dogs, so just imagine what it looked like to a doll a fifth the size of humans! Massive. That's how big - massive. It takes almost a whole day to explore Tangled Fan's bedroom, right? This backyard dwarfed her room. I'm not even joking.
So as soon as dawn came, I was able to make a run for the fort at the top of the swing set and slide that are set up for Tangled Fan's niece and nephew. Let me tell you, that was a hard climb. It was taller than the big shelving unit, remember the shelving unit? The one Rapunzel fell off of that time? It was slightly taller than that.
Anyway, I got up there about an hour before the dogs invaded the backyard.
The bad thing? The stupid dogs were outside almost all day long. I couldn't risk leaving my hiding spot, so I used the day to survey the backyard, checking out how I could move and be able to get to cover quickly, if need be. One of the more interesting experiences of the day was when a cat came up to the fort, threw its food up, and then went in a corner, curling up to sleep the day away. That was lovely. (I'm oozing sarcasm here, in case anyone fails to realize that!) But the plus side was that it came back to sleep there after its evening meal (and the food didn't come back to haunt her this time, which was a plus) and she allowed me to lay down beside her to sleep. It had started raining, so I couldn't do anything, especially not in the dark. The cat kept me nice and warm, at least!
At the crack of dawn the next day, I left the fort via the slide. It was still raining, but I couldn't just stand around forever - I needed to get back to my family.
I didn't take into account that the backyard was probably bigger than it appeared when I had almost a bird's eye view (okay, so a bird's eye view for dolls). I just barely made it to hide in the garden before the dogs went out. I at least made it that far, and the rain soon left. But then, I had the added risk of two of the Miniature Horses being left in the backyard. I've never seen the likes: using tiny horses for lawnmowers. Hey, it works. But I had to dodge hooves, especially since they were two young horses and liked to play a bit. And walk clumsily through the garden, picking grass out from around the plants. Yeesh.
Well, at one point, I got too close to one of the horses, and he stepped on my feet. Three hundred pound Miniature horse versus a 1/2 pound hunk of plastic, what do you think it's gonna do? I managed to drag myself back to the slide and work my way up to the fort again, and by that time, I wasn't sure if I could ever walk again. I was so sore everywhere, and my hip joints were about to give out.
I made myself stay there for about...I don't even know how long, until I was able to walk again. After that, I was super careful to watch out for horses as well as dogs. Good grief!
I know you're probably asking why no humans noticed I was here? Well, it's because they don't generally tend to come down by the swing set unless it's the three-year-old nephew. I met him when I was in the fort recovering...and when he attempted stomping on me to break me, I managed to climb up to the top beam, where the swings hang from. It was evening before he left, so that was another day wasted.
The next morning, I hoofed it for the garden once more.
When I was back in the garden, I stayed there, despite some more rain. It cleaned me up, anyway. When the dogs would come around, I would just duck under some sprawling strawberry plants and flatten myself to the ground - they didn't even notice me. When they were shut in for the night, I started to look around and revise my plan of action.
As soon as it was light enough for me to see again, I made a quick run to the clothesline posts. I was halfway through the yard, thank goodness. As soon as I was there, I decided to go hide in the flower garden, which was really super close by. There were a lot of nice, tall plants and ferns to hide under! I would've picked some of the smaller flowers for Rapunzel and the girls, but I knew they'd wilt before I could get them to them.
Anyway, I waited until the dogs were, once more, shut in for the night before I decided how I could climb to get to the doorknob - the only thing keeping me from getting into the house and being home free.
By morning, I had that figured out. There was a small table holding a potted plant near the door, so I took a flying leap and clung to the doorknob, twisting and squirming until it was open.
Stupid me.
That's where the dogs stay at night.
As soon as I realized that, I raced for and dove under the sink.
One of the dogs saw me - an old, grumpy male - but he left me alone, trotting ahead to catch up with the others. Whew.
I was able to make my way through the laundry room in a day, and got into the downstairs family room, where I finally allowed myself to sleep for a little while, curled up at the top of the cat tower. At least, until a cat came and, both irritated at my stealing his nap spot but also intrigued with me, batted me over the edge of the platform. I was able to catch myself, luckily, and work my way down slowly. Yeesh.
Well, after that I crawled into the hammock-like part of the tower, and slept there. Nobody bothered me, then.
It took another day for me to creep through the family room; I thought I would be home free after that.
Pshh, I forgot about the 'downstairs' part. There were stairs. A lot of them. I managed, though; and after that, I could hardly walk once more. As soon as I got upstairs, I hid behind the couch because those stinking dogs were inside once more. When I was behind the couch, I slept for the day, hoping my legs would heal up by morning. Even though they didn't, I still made my way through the hallway and got to Tangled Fan's bedroom, where I had to climb to open the door. That about did me in....it wasn't easy.
Then, I knew I was in the homestretch and at around nine-fifteen, I finally made it up onto the table, where I got attacked by two certain little girls that I'd missed a lot!
So there you have it....a very condensed version, at least.
It's good to be back.
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